How To Say Hard Things

This is probably one of the hardest challenges I’ve had.

I either say it too hard, or I say nothing at all. Since turning another birthday, it does get easier. I really think it has to do with bandwidth.

Not having the energy, interest, or time to really think hard about saying things. Yet, having the emotional intelligence to know what not to say.

And then knowing that people are going to hear what they want to hear anyway.

The few times I’ve done it:

Please go now.

Give me my money.

Stop.

What about lunch?

Have been really easy. When we make them hard, we put the onus on others to make the decisions for us. I could make them hard like this:

Would you mind giving me some time alone?

If I remember correctly, you were supposed to give me some money back, right?

Would you mind taking a minute?

Wondering if you have time in the next week or two to meet for lunch before 4pm?

Doesn’t it hurt? So, the next time you have to say something hard, just say it. People may screw it up with their own filters anyway that we have nothing to do with. No matter how nice you want it to sound.

This quarter in the Alphanista Success Circle, we are reading Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott.

Originally posted 2019-07-29 06:29:29.