Weekend Rewind: Any Man Without A R-ing Is Ripe For The Pick-ing

(This is an oldie, but goodie that got lots of attention. Sometimes the truth hurts.  In a neat, tidy world everything would be cut and dry, but below is about when it isn’t and you have to do with the real. New posts Monday.  Enjoy!)

A glass of reality can taste pretty bad. 

On a recent advice blog, I told a young lady who was involved with someone else’s fiance to go for it.  They did, and she updated me that they are now together, and happy.  He didn’t leave his ex-fiance because he found something better, he simply left because he could.  He wasn’t married.  He was free to move on, and so was she. 

But unless a man is married to a woman, no one “owns” him.

 It pains me (after I laugh) how many women are obsessed with finding out if their man is cheating, or why he cheats.   No one knows the answer to that, but the man in question.  No amount of ironing, cooking, scrubbing his feet, cooking, or even sex is going to stop a man from cheating. 

For some men, it’s just who he is.  He’s gonna cheat on you–period.  Others, have phases, more prone in summer, than winter, more prone around his birthday, than Columbus Day, stuff like that.

Because of this ambiguity, it’s very hard to stake a claim on a man.  It can be love all day, all night.  You swear he won’t hurt you. 

Then some other woman comes in and scoops him up. 

Can you blame her?  You shouldn’t.  She wasn’t the one in a relationship.  These days, the number of single women can really pose a threat to national security.  In fact, if I could find it, long ago, a French politician said that a world of too many single women is dangerous to the structure of society. 

I wonder why?  Where there’s lots of single women, there’s gonna be men.  Should you lose weight?  Buy sexier lingerie?  No.  You can’t stop it.  These women want a man, too, and your man is up for grabs.  You can’t be mad at them.  They need love too.  Just think back when you were single.  And no, I don’t believe you would never.

In my book, USE ME OR LOSE ME, Farah ended up befriending her man’s mistress, and won.  The best way to work a situation like this with a man is to let him, not literally, but just let him be who is, whether it’s the cheater or the saint. 

Be at peace with yourself.  You have a choice.  Don’t be mad because you still choose to be with him when he does.  At the end of the day, you want a man who’s going to stay, not one you have to keep.  An “alphanista” loves her man, but loves herself a little bit more.

Originally posted 2019-12-31 08:00:31.