Magnetic Communication Skills Part II

Do you know there’s more than one way to seduce?

Seduction is usually characterized as nonverbal communication.  Taking someone’s clothes off, making them desire you, and catching them off guard. 

But seduction is not always about sex.  It is about communicating to get your way, even at work, or to crash a party.  Businesses and relationships are built and destroyed based on whether this is a success or not. 

What have you been communicating lately?  Are your words or actions building up your life or tearing it down?  Below are communication techniques for the alpha female, some inspired by Robert Greene.

1)    Treat female co-workers like they want to be treated

Work is not the place to “be yourself”.  It is a place of performance, and it better be a good one if you plan to stay. 

When women work with each other, they tend to look for other women they “like” or can bond with.  If you are not one of those types most women “take” to, you can find yourself isolated. 

This doesn’t always work, at work.  When you’re isolated, other people become suspicious and threatened by you.  It’s okay if you’re the boss, but not when you are trying to be the boss.  

When you are dealing with female bosses, it’s important to make them like you and quickly.  Ask them about their lives, weekends, mimic their behaviors, favorite colors and styles. 

I’ve said this repeatedly.  Sometimes, “seducing” a woman is very much like seducing a man.  Make them feel good, then strike.  Your goal with the female boss may be a promotion or an invitation to the exclusive dinner she is having.   If you “seduce” properly, you can get what you asked for.

Denise, is an avid reader of Alphanista, and shared with me how she used this on a female boss who loathed her:

Ms. Fullerton hated me.  When she hired me, I figured she was desperate to find someone to work for her.  I had no training, but worked hard. 

By my second month, I was frustrated.  She didn’t answer my questions, and she always claimed I was too “lazy”.  I was like “why was I hired then?” She said, she was still waiting for me to show her. 

Well, I did what I could.  I started bringing her treats.  She was a foodie, like me, and I’d go to the farmers market and come back with something she’d like. 

Next, I started dressing like her.  She would always wear black, so I started wearing more black suits and blouses.  She cut her hair, and I did too.  Too make a long story short, we just started to “like” each other. 

She was fired, and she took me to be her personal house assistant.  She lives in the Hamptons, with her husband and dogs.  And let me tell you, this is one of the best positions I have ever had. I have my own office in her home, I manage her staff, pay the bills, etc.  I also get to go to her parties. 

I’m still not the greatest assistant, but it goes to show what really matters in life.

2)  When Asking for Help, Appeal to People’s Self-Interest, Never to their Mercy or Gratitude

When you find yourself in a situation and need advice or help from someone tread carefully.  

Most people will count on the other person’s kindness or pity for them.  They’ll tell the person the dire straits they are in, how they owe, how awful and unfortunate their situation is, and how they have worked so hard.  This doesn’t work, and if it does, rarely is the help what you asked for. 

People want to help people that don’t need help.  Sad but true. 

For example, if you just started a business and it quickly became a success, people will ask you if you need help, how can they help, and be a part of it.  On the other hand, if it’s not a success, many will just wish you well, and the best of luck. 

It’s natural for people to want to be associated with success.  Ever notice how people who have money only attract more money?  The rich get richer?  My point exactly.

Instead, before you approach or reveal to anyone, appeal to their self interest.  If you need money, and you’ve always known they wanted to write a book, come up with a barter.  Show people what can be gained by helping you. 

What is the long term goal?  Do not remind them of how you helped them in the past.  Focus on the future. 

For example, if you need them to partner with you on a task, come up with a good percentage of the business they can keep. For instance, I have an affiliate program for 9 Tuesdays.  I need other blogs to help me get the word out.  They won’t help if I keep all the sales.  What I did, was give them 55%, more than what I keep.  It’s been a win win. 

Next time, you need help, communicate what the other person will win first, hook them, and then reel them in.

3)  Know Who You’re Dealing With

Oftentimes, as alphas we may offend people.  People may not like our presence, outspokenness or big ideas.  Not everyone will gravitate to us.  We may even hurt people unintentionally. 

In these cases, be very careful who you offend.  You are not responsible for being the mother bear of the world.  These days, everyone is easily offended by anything. 

But be careful.  Know who is in your circle, and who you are dealing with.  Even though you hate your man’s ex, she is still your boss’s daughter.   Act accordingly.  Even though you cannot stand an old friend, she is still a leader in your industry. 

Do not even think that stepping on these folks toes will get you far.  Even if you do, and it seems harmless, they can be wolves disguised as sheep.  We all have bodies we may leave behind, make sure yours don’t turn into phantoms.

4)  Make your Accomplishments Seem Effortless

This is a tough one.  You’ve struggled and you want to share it with others, and the world.

But that may not be a good idea.  At least not while you are still going up the ladder. 

Always make your actions seem effortless, almost natural.  Skip over the practice and the techniques that got you there.  It’s a good idea to conceal your secrets. 

When I was coming up, I noticed folks who would do this.  They were usually very successful.  And I’d ask, how did you do this or that.  The answers were always vague.  When I pushed, they’d say I have to “earn” it and work hard.  It frustrated me, where I just began sharing all my techniques when I came into a certain position. 

But something happened.  I realized I would share contact and info, and never hear from the people again.  It made me frustrated, until I learned this skill. 

The more you reveal, the more people want to know.  Teach no one exactly what you do unless it is a business.  People will pay with money or time to learn what others don’t.  The rich do it.  They don’t have time to figure life out by default.  It’s too expensive.

There’s a catch 22 here, though. If you make it seem to easy, you’ll appear too perfect.  Avoid this.  You’ll create secret enemies.  Every now and then display some defects to seem more approachable, but don’t give the whole recipe away!

5)  Stir up Waters to Catch Fish

Finally, this one is short and sweet.  If you find yourself in a situation where you need to reach an objective, do not get angry, even when others are. 

Remain calm.  As poised as possible.  You’ll make your adversary more angry, and it’ll weaken them.  They may reveal too much, too little, and you will pull the strings.  Staying calm in most situations give you an advantage to control it.

Originally posted 2019-12-09 06:42:42.