ADVICE: Me, Myself, and I…But I Don’t!

I moved to NYC about a year ago from Atlanta, and I am so frustrated that this city is so dead. I have no friends, can’t meet any, and I am tired of going out alone. I go out and no one talks to me.

The guys don’t even look at me, and I am pretty damn hot. I’m banging. It’s just I’m not the only one banging anymore.

I know the girls hate me….What do I do? Should I keep going out alone? How can I meet other women to hang with?

Thanks,

Georgia Peach

Dear GP:

It’s something we all go through as we age.  Either we move away or our friends do.  But many of us find ourselves starting over far too much.   Don’t be so critical of yourself.

You have to get out of the victim role. If people aren’t talking to you, it could be a vibe you give off. As I read your question, I could picture a sour grill. A very nasty, annoyed look. Is that what you’re carrying around?

Even if it’s in your head that people don’t like you, people sense negativity. So, work on that.

Next, stop thinking about how to meet other women.

You want other women to meet you. Always provide value to people, find out how you can help them or suggest things.

Never take a resigned role of waiting for another woman to acknowledge you. Smile, introduce yourself, compliment her hair or shoes, talk about how bad the food is (people bond more through pain so use it as a hook to get them talking). Look like someone other girls would want to meet.

The goal is not so much to make a friend, than it is to find a wing-girl, a chick who is only there to hang and go to spots with. You both provide backdrop material for each other. True friendships can form, sometimes they don’t.

In my book, Every Man For Herself, a woman leaves Texas and moves to NYC where she knew no one. She got a job massaging rich men. Need I say more? She met tons of chicks, and had great dates.

Be the person you want to meet.

Until then, keep going out alone. Go back to the same spots where you feel comfortable, play with your phone, chat up the bartender, observe, chill, get drunk (you may end up with the whole bar by your side cracking jokes, the world just looks more friendlier through liquored up eyes) and enjoy everything NYC has to offer. Even the frustration.

AF with love,

MR

Originally posted 2020-03-08 14:30:00.