I officially quit Facebook today.
It had been a year of back and forth on what to do. When I first started in 2007, it was fun, reconnecting with old friends, making new ones, looking at people’s baby pictures–for a minute. It was nice reading the updates and responding to what you had for dinner, a new job, or your latest trip. It was nice.
But then I realized, WTF? I was collecting friends and receiving like 25-50 requests a day. Because I am an author and have received some notoriety I thought it was polite to accept. Maybe they would become friends or supporters. But they retreated into a dark space where they watched me but never interacted with me. Spooky.
I didn’t know half of these people and I was still caring what happened. It all began to feel like clutter. Just stuff. I really began to care less. It got to a point within the last year that I stopped using it. Here are my reasons in a more orderly fashion:
It didn’t allow me to be my complete self. I would go in and post a few things, and leave. You just got a snippet. I had two fan pages, and a personal profile, and it became splintered and too “salesy” feeling.
It just opens a whole can of kick ass on some relationships and I want no part of it. Why do people care where I am, what I did last night, and I haven’t ever spoken to them or picked up a phone to call them? There could be a crazie looking at my photos at 3am in the dark. Yes, even that “normal” friend. You never know. Seen Forensic Files lately? The idea of being watched and I don’t know who is really watching or what crazies out there are keeping tabs is troublesome. I don’t think it’s right to give any stranger or even “friend” that kind of access. There is energy in everything we do and see, and this breeds negative energy.
I learned that some people need to be kept in your past. That person from HS that never spoke to you but now reaches out because you were in the same class? Uhm, no. That ex you’ve moved on from wants to come back. Really? [Insert laughter] There is a quote I love from Shinn, “flee from things that flee from thee”. Never chase the past. FB makes it too easy to find people. I don’t like that.
I learned that in order to live a healthy life–spiritually, financially, sexually and professionally–you need to monitor what you see, hear, and read. Leaving FB is part of an essential lifestyle makeover.
I learned that I still want to engage with people who really want to know me and admire my work in more positive and constructive ways. I did this via my FB pages. Sure, pages are more of a marketing tool, but they also give me a platform to stay true to what I do, and help others, and be helped.
I got tired of the armchair philosophers with their misspelled quotes about life, relationships, Amy Winehouse. Everyone is so deep and meaningful online but hell on wheels in their real lives. People also lead these second lives online to take them away from improving their real lives. They go from empty to empty.
I want just a simple, less cluttered existence. The amount of FB junk mail was ridiculous. I had no use for its inbox or instant messaging services or keeping in touch with people I don’t know, or don’t know anymore. Everybody can’t be a friend.
If you want to keep in touch with me please send me a personal email, call me, or check me on Twitter. My blog is my primary online space and quitting Facebook frees up my time to devote to it. Not saying I will never return to FB, but for now, I’m out.