By Guest Blogger Toi
It’s more than a notion to be with an Alpha male.
His hustle is almost always number one to everything in his life, and as his counterpart you must understand and learn to deal with this. More often than not your relationship will come second to business, and you will have to grin and bear it. So how do you deal?
- Get a damn life. As the alphanista to your alpha, you should be focused on your own career and business, keeping yourself fly, and holding it down on the home front. Prime example: hip hop’s power couple Beyonce and Jay Z. Their respective careers force them to spend a significant chunk of time apart. It’s probably not easy for either of them relationship-wise, but they have a greater goal, to totally dominate in their respective fields. Remember the greater goal, which is for you and your alpha to be a superpower.
- Get in(volved) where you fit in. Are you bringing anything to the table to help your alpha achieve his goals? Help him in his business ventures. The alphanista is superbly skilled and can take her man from 0 to 60. Sometimes you may need to be a charming arm piece, other times you may need to be geek squad when he’s not very savvy. The alpha needs a woman who will help him build his empire, not detract from it. Prove your value by being an asset and not a liability.
- Keep your game face on. It may be hard, but sometimes you can’t let your alpha know that you are feeling the pressure. Sometimes you will have to bite your lip and save face. He’s probably already stressed and trying to stay focused. As the female counterpart you must maintain your regality and not lose your cool. You think Michelle is cursing out Barack because he hasn’t taken her out for date night in 2 weeks? He’s busy trying to clean up this mess called America. If there’s a project going on that prevents QT this week, you will have to suck it up until there’s time. It’s one of those tough realities of being with an alpha.
- Female friendships can be be wonderful and fulfilling, but sometimes your friends may not understand the sacrifices involved in being with an alpha. You may have a good friend or two who understand the situation, and that’s fine. But your homegirls don’t need to know the details of your relationship with your man. You don’t need other women involved in your life that way.
- Remember the benefits. You were annoyed when he was working all those long hours, but you’ll forget all about it when he surprises you and whisks you away on that trip to St. Bart’s. Your alpha appreciates when you can hold him down. He needs a strong, yet gentle presence in his life. This is what the alpha values.
Being with an alpha sometimes requires certain levels of sacrifice. It’s not for the faint of heart. If you are aware of this and have a life of your own while holding it down for yourself and your man, it is easier to deal with the lifestyle that can comes with being with an alpha.
Toi Duckworth is a sophisticated b-girl from Los Angeles who dishes on urban lifestyle topics via her blog, http://hiphopmuse.com.