When Prince Charming Forgets Where You Live….

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Halle had a baby on her own terms, should she had waited?

Sometimes when you do things perfectly life doesn’t end up the way you want it to.

As young girls we are taught and programmed to think the perfect ending comes with a dashing husband, kids, the perfect house and the perfect closet. As African-American women our realities don’t often mirror this, but girls still dream. Recently women, especially black women are coming to realize that fairy tale ending is damn near impossible to come by. I was recently reading CNN and came upon another article about black women and our fight for motherhood and marriage.

Now don’t get me wrong, I do think marriage is an issue in the black community, but man I’m tired of reading how successful black women are not getting married or having the children they want.

Everywhere we go black women are being reminded that independent women rule but don’t to be that independent or you’ll be that female who goes home alone. Earlier this year while watching Steve Harvey on Oprah, I could not help but shudder when the 4 single successful black women came on. These women, like the woman in the CNN article talked about how they had done everything right. In both situations they were left either without children or men. Now while having that dream career and stellar closet is admirable, we all know what our purpose is as women. Women are put on this earth to be loved, to be treated as queens, to raise strong men and women, provide guidance for our communities and to provide in many ways for our male counterparts. In the past, the path to these goals was crystal clear; however new obstacles face women today, especially black women. With new challenges must come new solutions, new paths and break from traditional models.

If you want children and can’t have them, then adopt. There are lots of children in our own communities who will benefit from a good home. Don’t be afraid to do things out of the ordinary and create your own realities. If Mr. Right seems to be taking his sweet ole time trying to find you then gets your stuff in order without him. He’ll appreciate the fact that you already got yours together and don’t need to rely on him. The right man will come along who wants you, your kids and your huge closet.

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6 comments

  1. itgirlstyle says:

    To answer your question… HELL NO, she shouldn’t have waited!! For whatever reason, she has had bad luck in finding a lasting relationship. Whatever issues she may or may not have, QUIT HATING on Halle! You’ve got your issues too. Hell, ALOT of us have the same story, which should naturally endear you more to her, as well as other women’s circumstance. Don’t be mad because she’s just happens to be more physically beautiful than most (again… recognize your OWN issues — and then work that sh*t out). However, she’s 40+, with an epic career, and hasn’t met a man that could handle that (IMO). All of which being said, she wanted to produce a seed, all her own. Hell YES, she has the right to decide that for herself. From what I’ve seen she’s a devoted a** mom… AND she looks good/happy doing it. You can’t hate on that. To keep it all real, alot of women hate to like her. Which is sad for us as black women, from whom “others” already expect anger, hatred and judgment from all of us against one other… SMDH. Go Halle. Do your thing bish!

  2. Zabeth says:

    Freezing your eggs maybe a good option- especially if you have $10K lying around; BUT many places do offer financing and your health insurance may cover some procedures. Also women who freeze their eggs report that they feel as if the pressure is off and many then do go on to find husbands! Ironic isn’t it? It’s worth looking into. The sooner you do it the better though.

    I am also an avid believer that BW should consider “SOMETHING NEW.” There are millions of men in the global village. Your prince charming does not have to be of the same ethnicity or even of the same culture as you. I really do think American BW are too hung up on that ideal and it’s working to our detriment. It’s not an issue of BW not needing BM, it’s an issue of women needing men and children needing fathers.

  3. ThatGirlDer says:

    @Michael you will never understand the innate need of a woman to produce children. No one CHOOSES to be a single mother but life must continue.

    I have thought about this and freezing my eggs. I would adopt a small child before I let a man impregnate me and leave. I don’t want to go through the courts for child support or nothing. No woman in her right mind would willfully choose all that drama.

    All I ask for is a loving family or child.

  4. Karen says:

    This is a very interesting piece but I can not help to think how much of this is self imposed! Adoption? What ever happened to exploring your options, keeping faith, trying something new? This seems like a cop out. And yes, I think Halle should have gotten therapy, then got her a husband!

  5. EbonyLolita says:

    I read this same article and was thinking to myself, Why not?? I was adopted and I always felt that I belonged in my family. I was adopted at the age of 4 which still made me “cute” and easy to be influenced by my family’s values. Unfortunately, people would rather leave America to adopt foreign children when there are a plethora of children right here in America. I was sharing this article with my friends and said what’s the difference in being single and giving birth vs choosing a child and still being single. I am a strong advocate for adoption. Choose wisely ladies 🙂

    Love, EbonyLolita 😉

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