Sometimes when you do things perfectly life doesn’t end up the way you want it to.
As young girls we are taught and programmed to think the perfect ending comes with a dashing husband, kids, the perfect house and the perfect closet. As African-American women our realities don’t often mirror this, but girls still dream. Recently women, especially black women are coming to realize that fairy tale ending is damn near impossible to come by. I was recently reading CNN and came upon another article about black women and our fight for motherhood and marriage.
Now don’t get me wrong, I do think marriage is an issue in the black community, but man I’m tired of reading how successful black women are not getting married or having the children they want.
Everywhere we go black women are being reminded that independent women rule but don’t to be that independent or you’ll be that female who goes home alone. Earlier this year while watching Steve Harvey on Oprah, I could not help but shudder when the 4 single successful black women came on. These women, like the woman in the CNN article talked about how they had done everything right. In both situations they were left either without children or men. Now while having that dream career and stellar closet is admirable, we all know what our purpose is as women. Women are put on this earth to be loved, to be treated as queens, to raise strong men and women, provide guidance for our communities and to provide in many ways for our male counterparts. In the past, the path to these goals was crystal clear; however new obstacles face women today, especially black women. With new challenges must come new solutions, new paths and break from traditional models.
If you want children and can’t have them, then adopt. There are lots of children in our own communities who will benefit from a good home. Don’t be afraid to do things out of the ordinary and create your own realities. If Mr. Right seems to be taking his sweet ole time trying to find you then gets your stuff in order without him. He’ll appreciate the fact that you already got yours together and don’t need to rely on him. The right man will come along who wants you, your kids and your huge closet.
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