When He Has A Second “Wife”…

Puffy Happy Baby Man
Puffy Happy Baby Man w/Kim

That he’s not married to.

She’s a woman who has been in his life from the come up, through the breakups, through the dramas, through the celebrations, through other women, through it all.   She’s like an oak tree.  Never moves.  Sways every now and then, but at that same spot is where you’ll find her shining under the sun.

Not talking about the woman who just deals just because she has nowhere to go. This kind of woman is the second “wife”.  In these cases, sometimes they have more privileges than the first.

Women like Kim Porter.  Granted she’s with Puffy for the cash and status (so what!) but there is real love between those two.  Anytime they break up, they are back in the news and photos together.  Kim holds lots of secrets about Puff.  She also has three children, two who reportedly folks say she took fertility pills to conceive, hence the twins.

Anyway, I like these two.  They seem to understand their bond, even though the outside world doesn’t.  They may never get married (tho I think so).  If Puff married somebody else, this new woman has to be friends with Kim and give her that respect, as long as its mutual.  If I was married to Puff, I’d have no problem doing that.  We’d just be one big happy family of 3, wait 7, oh damn.

Men like Puff are an enigma, quintessential alpha traits.   Whether you like him or not, he’s a legend, an icon of pop culture.   He said years ago after all the Biggie/Pac/East/West coast dramas that he’d be the only one standing.  He is.  It was also very admirable for him to adopt Quincy, Kim’s son from Al B. Sure.  An act usually performed after marriage.

But back to the man, Puff.   He’s charismatic and he’s a provider.  Misa, his first baby mama of Justin, acted up some years ago, and he shut that down and hit her off with cash.  So did, Kim, which was laughable because she doesn’t have that in her like that.  He shut that down, too.  Kim could have easily moved on to some other big wig cat.  Her stock is up after Puff.  It’s said that after a woman has one baller, another baller wants her.  She’s in the circle.  Figure it out later.

He’s the kind of man women make provisions for.   Yeah, he’s paid.  But the women stick around.  I have never really heard any of his females diss him like we’ve heard others. I know he has a tendency to go off but he’s under a lot of pressure.  Oh, oh, see me.  Already making excuses.

Kim, girl, do your thing.  If you guys never marry, just make sure Puff has that will situation straightened out–and hide it! You had this coup planned from the days at Uptown.  You and Puff may be soulmates, but that is for you guys to express however you wish.  No matter what happens, you win.


  1. babydoll says:

    Big love I don’t even have words, because I have discussed argured whatever about men thinking they Gods gift to earth forever, and I am done, so I will just leave you with an eyeroll and enjoy my red kool-aid- thanks…/sarcasm

  2. Darling says:

    Yes we all wish we could have a “normal” relationship, but what is normal? The Obamas are not “normal” to many people so let’s stop with the naive comparisons. Who’s to say that Kim is sad or depressed. She has her kids and the life she set herself up for, it was what she wanted. She didn’t want anything else because she could have had it. Let’s let people live and stop being so damn judgemental. If folks would look into each of our separate lives best believe there is something to be picked at TOO!

  3. Amoye says:

    Mike. I love what you said. Simple Brilliance. It’s a shame that she lived her life in HIS shadow. She may be glammed up in her expensive whats its and what nots, but she will hate herself in the long run for the emotional burden of a relationship she allowed herself to be wrapped up in

    No man originates with power….WE GIVE THEM POWER. If you want to be a man’s equal…treat him as such, YOUR EQUAL. Do not let him have complete control over your life, by making him feel like his financial situation makes him a better person. Having his babies does not necessarily mean he will be the husband to you that he’s supposed to be.

    I hope we all learn a lesson from this woman and see that we MUST strive for better. Look at the Obama’s…thats all I have to say.

  4. Zabeth says:

    Diddy and Kim Porter equally disgust me and I can’t believe I just read a blog post rationalizing their situation. I think Kim is one of the dumbest women around for putting with this and, Diddy has humiliated her on too many occasions. She’s not happy in this situation- read her interview with Essence. Why do we put up with this as women? These two are the prime examples of what’s wrong in our community today. This is what we need to fix and not make excuses for- this idea that marriage is irrelevant, that women don’t need husbands, and that fathers are optional. I guess things have come to a point where we as women will just accept anything and go along with all the excuses just for the sake of having a piece of a man.

  5. Gladys says:

    @THC I am like you, I have never really followed Diddy’s life. The one thing I have always noticed about him is that he always looks well put together.

    No woman should put up with her husband having a second wife. Then what is the point of getting married. I hope P- Diddy has his business in order and I hope Kim’s name is on something. All those kids are going to need support if something was to happen to him. Again though that is one of the privileges that come with being married. If they were married and something happened to him she wouldn’t need to worry.

    This reminds me of a co-worker I knew. She knew this soldier for around 2 years, then she moved in with him because she got pregnant. When he was in an accident she was not next of kin so she did not get the first call. His sister called her and when she got to the hospital she couldn’t get any information about him. To make it worse, he had all of the checks and credit cards and she couldn’t get his personal belongings.

    There is a six months common law wife legislation her in my state. However, she had only been living with him for 5 months. LOL she was a really unlucky woman.

    The moral of the story get married. Why do you think gay people are fighting for the rights to get married. They want the privileges that come marriage and the law.

  6. Loving a bottom B says:

    I know someone that has two wives and they all live a happy life. It can be done by regular a dude who is not rich and who does not live in Utah. If the parties involved are cool with it why should I care so long as he can provide for them. However the person I know both of his wives work as well as himself and they live a comfortable lifestyle.

    Kim ain’t going anywhere and puff will always have her in his life.

  7. mike says:

    It’s a shame that women focus so hard on other peoples money. So much so that you would put up with what this chick has put up with just to be with someone because of what they have. I wouldnt be mad with her had she made him marry her before she had all them babies. Her stock would have been way up at that time. Now even if she tries to move on she will always be that chick that had all them babies with Diddy. Get your own money ladies. His has strings attached. And he will NEVER marry her.

  8. Big Love says:

    If the first wife was doing her job, there would be no need for the second. Puff is different. He’s basically like Hef – why not have your cake and eat it too – if you can afford it?

    The average joe only does this if he has those same desires. He’ll find a woman (women) down with it and provide for what they need (money, sex, companionship).

    Yall (babydoll) keep drinking the Kool-aid. Monogamy is a religious rule to control us and a rule of law to help maintain property rights. But much like prohibition we will find a way to get around it – without having to move to Utah!

  9. James says:

    This is interesting and no I don’t think a regular woman should accept this from a man. I understand Kim’s position. She and Puffy kind of grew up together. Now, she may be paying a high price with the stress and all and I have a feeling Puffy makes it hard for other dudes to approach dropping in and out like he wants to, it ain’t right, but I understand. Not because I’m a man! I’m very sensitive to women issues.

  10. babydoll says:

    ^^^ This kind of topic is getting so old….where the woman just gotta shut up and put up with her man stepping out. WRONG, it ain’t happening. It would be different if there was a whole bunch of men running around with P. Diddy money and provide the way he does, but there just ISN”T!! Ain’t nothing but a whole bunch of regular dudes making regular money trying to have they cake and eat it too, with out doing much providing of nothing. So please save that shit and take it somewhere else, women of 2009 are not having it.

    PS- I have no respect for Kim P. at all, she is a true example of a woman that put money before her pride, self-esteem and respect for herself. She’s doing her thing, but she is paying a heavy price for that kind of lifestyle she is leading……

  11. THE WIFE says:

    I CANNOT believe I am reading this! No woman has more privilege than the first wife, the woman he chooses! Kim is a mother whore, nothing more less. Have babies by rich men if I married Puff she and him would be over!

  12. Nikki says:

    I never hated on Kim a real woman does what she has to do may not be ideal, like a marriage, but she is there for her family and enjoying all the benefits of life with Puff while maintaining her own space.

  13. khalief khadafi says:

    Kim is da truth for dat. She is obviously much smarter then most women. In a society in wich women out number men it is a little unrealistic to try and keep a man with 1 woman. So she adjust and plays her part. Besides Polygamy was practiced thru out history. check ur bible check ur quran check ur history books. The Pope made it illegal n America in 1846 or 49. And i damn sure aint basing my morals on the standards of the same peoppe that enslaved me n raped grandma. So kim porter do ur thing. hopefully more women wake up and follow what ur demonstrating. U r demonstrating true Empressmenship. True Empress u r.

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