What To Do About Clingy, Female Admirers
By Guest Blogger, Amoye
As an alpha with an advanced sense of self, you’ll find yourself in situations where certain people will see your self-love, and worship you.
They will fall in love with you. Yes, they will really love you. No. They are not your family, and they are not your childhood friends. These are people who for some reason cannot get enough of you. Admirers. They come in the form of persistent men, adolescents looking for an idol or annoying, aggravating, clingy coworkers.
At one time I went through an experience with an extremely clingy coworker. As soon as I started the position at my job, she immediately gravitated towards me. It could have been the type of energy I project or her personal trauma, or a combination of both. She just would not leave me alone.
As soon as I got in if she didn’t phone to say “Hey Girl”, there would be an email sitting in my inbox, complimenting my outfit or asking how my evening went or how my day is going. After a delayed or non-existent response, she’d get frustrated and either approach me with a frown or do something to get my attention. By lunchtime, she’d show up at my desk with her lunch or money in her hand ready to go for lunch; without asking whether or not I wanted to give her company. At the end of the day she would wait around for me and attempt to make small talk. Lucky for me I was good at coming up with excuses when it came time for going home.
She added me on Facebook. I ignored her friends request twice. I eventually closed down my facebook for a few weeks to see if she would just forget about me. But she didn’t. I followed my daily routine, came to work, kept it professional, no compliments, no chitchats, just straight to my reports. But she didn’t catch a hint.
It got to the point where when I ignored or brushed her off; she would search through my garbage or check my emails. She was making every attempt to get my attention. All I could do was smile and be friendly with her. I tried not to treat her like a deranged psycho, but it was hard. Every time I looked at her I felt pity. So I sympathized and listened to her excessive stories about her life. I thought okay, maybe if you know what she’s doing/thinking she won’t attack you, and on the other end, it’s never good to burn bridges, especially within my line of work. But that plan backfired.
She started to tell everyone in the office that we were best friends and that she loved me. I lost it, snapped on her one day and told her to please stay away from me. After this she went on and tried to sabotage my job. She told my manager that I wasn’t doing work-related tasks and that she would be a better candidate for my job. Ha! I realized that if I wanted to keep my job, and my good reputation, I had to be intelligent about the situation and regain her friendship.
I thought, well “You can’t please everyone. You can’t make everyone happy. But you sure as hell can fool them into thinking you give a damn about them.” So, I took it upon myself to take her to the side, pour my heart out to her and make up a fake story about my life. We “bonded” again, and instead of her being obsessed with my seemingly “perfectness” she saw me as just as flawed and messed up as her, so she sort of backed up off me.
To this day she’s still pretty annoying, but it’s bearable. Lesson I learned; When you appear too perfect, or too in control, you get unnecessary attention from weak women too insecure to build upon themselves. Think as an alpha around these types of people, but don’t show it as openly.
Guest Blogger Amoye is a writer and thinker from Toronto Canada. She doesn’t care too much for fancy titles, but is also a recent university graduate, artist and entrepreneur.