Weekend Rewind: Virgin Monologues: To Stay Or Not To Stay Home

Take your time, Michelle. Take your time!By Guest Blogger, Gladys Wilson

There are some things the women’s movement never told you.

A stay at home mother should get just as much respect as a working woman. In fact, she should get more respect. It takes a certain sacrifice and determination to be a stay at home mom.

After the women’s movement, there has been a huge influx of women in the work place. What we have not stopped to consider is how this change has affected the roles of family members. Husbands are no longer the sole breadwinner in the family. Family roles have been destroyed and there is a big empty space. Stop and consider the roles that mothers played when they stayed at home.

Yes, they did not get advanced education, and the respect that they deserved, but they supervised their children. Someone was always home to make sure that children got off the bus, had a snack, did their homework and got some love. Stay at home moms also got to know each other, so neighbors knew each other.

Now 6-week-old babies are dropped off to daycare from 6:30 am to 6:30 pm. That is 12 hours; little children spend 12 hours in the care of someone other than their parents. We have 11 year olds (on up) coming home and staying by themselves for two hours or more. Then we wonder why more and more children are depression, obese and angry.

If you consider yourself a strong, sensible, well-educated woman then I think you will agree with me that latchkey kids and daycare babies are not being treated fairly. My mother always used to say, your home should look like your outward presentation. No amount of money, or your career should interfere with you rising well adjusted, happy, children. Your children are a reflection of you, if you do not do your job in that area, sister you have failed miserable. The following are ways to prevent your babies from becoming latchkey kids:

  • Get married (marry up or equal income) before you have children.
  • Marry a family man
  • Plan the birth of your children the best you can
  • Look at both salaries and see who is making more money.
  • The person making less money should become the primary caregiver of the children.
  • Set a reasonable work schedule
  • Set a routine for children
  • Have the non-primary parent set time aside to spend with your children (ie weekends or days off)

Raising a happy well-rounded child takes deliberate planning care and action on the part of parents.  Not let your child become a stat.

To find out more about this guest blogger at http://ohthesweetpromise.wordpress.com/.


  1. Loving a bottom B says:

    I have to say I agree with this post. I want this for myself and future wife, however, I know I have to put myself in the financial position to be able to do so.

  2. Gladys says:

    @ Sher Thanks I strongly believe that people should make the best decision for their children. Children deserve the very best.

  3. Whatever you went to Yale or NYU got this Master degree you going to work LOL.This is not the 50’s or 60’s. Then women get mad when and say men just want to keep women barefoot and Pregnant..

  4. The Boss says:

    From what I understand about Michelle, she always wanted to be a stay at home mom but couldn’t because Barack was on the road alot. I think this is the greatest gift a woman can give her family, and now is Michelle’s time, too!

  5. Gladys says:

    Don’t work at the cost of your children. Too many parents are selfishly pursuing money and not thinking about the welfare of their children. Children don’t ask to be born, so if you are going to have them give them the benefit of being loved and cherished by both mother and father.

    I understand that in today’s world two incomes are necessary for survival, but again I will say there is no reason for a child to stay in daycare from 6:30 am to 6:30 pm. In my book that is neglect and bordering on abuse.

    Thinking and planning, those are the most important things.

  6. James says:

    The “mommy wars” are alive and real in the black community. I agree if women chose better men maybe they would be able to stay home and be mothers. But these days men want women who work. We’ve been brainwashed too.

  7. Nikki says:

    I think women who work and are mad at stay at home moms are just jealous. I think deep down every woman wants to supported and care for by a provider that can allow her to be all woman. That’s why I am marrying a man who can give me that lifestyle. I deserve it.

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