Letter from Alpha Female In Dubai
January 27, 2009
This is a letter from a dear friend who is an alpha female who was having a hard time dating in NYC. She upped and totally changed her life. Will get an update from her soon. So far, she is doing fine and adjusting. Disappeared on me, but…But whatever you are facing, know that your destiny is in your hands…
________________________________________________________
Sorry, Maryann, for taking up the blog space. But I had to.
I read the comments on Baller Alert. I was offended, appalled, and loved reading every word. I wish I had knew of this site months ago before I upped and left NYC. I’m not regretting anything because I just got started. I’m thinking I could’ve convinced somebody on there to come with me
I did my research for a year on Dubai for anyone who thinks I’m going to be kidnapped and locked up in a harem.
Anyhow, here’s why I left NYC. I have been with ballers since I was 17 years old, I am 34 right now. So, for 17 years I have been running up and down with what most women call the Black princes…paid athletes and business men. Not actors or singers, because that’s a joke. I’m not saying that I am anyone you ever heard of or saw. I was one of MANY women. I’d spend nights at luxurious hotels with my baller of the moment. It was intoxicating. The nights in bed, the mornings together, the plane rides home, the money in my bank account and the access to his rolodex and friends. Then it would end. I’d have to start all over again. Putting my body out there, my heart out there, wondering if this is gonna be the baller to end all ballers. Didn’t happen.
I was more confident, looked better, and never was the girl at the club waiting around to be noticed. I just bumped into ballers all the time. I could be at Subway’s and meet a baller.
By 25, I was in a relationship with a major baller who owned his own business. He was in his late 50s. He never married, but had a child and was in great shape. He moved me into a house, bought me a ring, took me to his functions and came home every night for a year. One night, he told me he met somebody else and I had to move out. Just like that. He couldn’t even give me a reason, but “life’s too short.” It devasted me. I can’t even begin to get into what I sacrificed for him. I had to move in to my parents house. I had to get a regular job as a secretary. And been there, since.
I dated civilians after that. It was never, ever enough. I belittled them, they ran off. When I saw myself going on Craigslist and reading those “sugar daddy” ads and really considering them, I knew I had to do something. I even responded to one of the escort ads, but never went to the “interview”. All I ever wanted was to be a baller’s wife. I met a girl who told me about Europe and Dubai, specifically. How I was missing out. I stayed at my job. I begged and prayed for an answer of should I stay or go. I’m meant to be married to a baller. My daddy was a baller. I don’t know anything else.
Too many black women are scared to explore their options. I’m definitely not. So, here I am in Dubai, at an internet cafe. I already met a man on the plane (those planes to the ME are filled with money men and women]. He was a brother from NYC! Just my luck. Here on business, he’s opening an office. But I’m not interested. I saw his ring. I didn’t come all the way out here to deal with the same men. There is far too much money out here, anyway……
I already feel alone. I hope I get used to it. At least I better, because I’m tired of starting over…this is me for life…
Email This Post
Loading ...
this is deep and bold more power to you!
I have definitely considered moving to live somewhere far where nobody knows my name but I find wherever you go there you are. SO THAT IS TO SAY I would not be surprised if she came back home back to the same job. She can’t expect to go to Dubai to find money, money is here too. She need to find herself.
DAAAMN! Is all I can muster right now. Her daddy was a baller? Ok.
WOW!
I’ve never been the type to go after the ballers, it always seemed like a crazy, hard life. Give me a square dude who loves me and we can both work.
I hope everything works for her out in Dubai. That’s on my list of places to visit.
wow! go for yours girl. i sense that you regret it just a little though
Ok, I see a host of problems, so let me just get started.
1. First off, Dubai is primarily ran by a Muslim population, so if she doesn’t plan on wearing a Hijab, Hijabis, or an Abaya then she can forget about being considered anything but a prostitute to those men. Just in 2005 were women allowed to drive there, and they are STILL met with constant opposition over it. Although the United Arab Emirates is an island to itself, it’s still considered part of “Saudi Arabian peninsula”, and women are looked at as property and nothing else!
And if these muslim women do manage to garner some sort of equality from their husbands, you best believe that she probably came to the table with her own oil money.
2. She’s made herself a constant “debit” in the eyes of these men. If she would have come along and played on level playing ground; such as being a Physician, lawyer, or business owner, then she would have gained a little more respect. What I’ve learn about wealthy men is that they LOVE when they think you don’t need them, but you still continue to stroke thier egos and cater to them.
3. She’s making it too obvious that she’s looking to be taken care of, and there’s no problem with that, but she must have something more to offer to these guys other than a warm **ssy and a pretty face. That shit only lasts two years TOPS, then he’s looking for the next big spectacle
MY SON’S FATHER IS IN DUBAI RIGHT NOW. CANT WAIT FOR THE UPDATE!
THC, I 100% agree with what you said. I was trying to think of a more diplomatic way to say it but you can’t really get any clearer than “a warm **ssy and a pretty face,” I think she is overestimating both of these qualities; plus she’s not 17 anymore. Yes she is well traveled, but big deal. Just because you have a full passport doesn’t make you automatically qualified to be an Alpha female or land a wealthy man. I personally think she needs to take this time out to stack up some paper and start a business for herself- I’m all for landing that wealthy man but she is not even confident in her abilities to do that right now.
I don’t know- this post left me kind of eh? What other qualities does she have besides the two she uses to get cash and trips- she sounds quite mediocre. Hopefully she will take the time in Dubai to get her shit together, and get her head on straight. I think once she stops concentrating on getting with a baller and put the emphasis on more productive attributes, he might just appear.