Weekend Rewind: Tip 9 How To Be An Alpha Female

Martha Stewart kills them with sweetness.
Alpha Female Martha Stewart kills them with sweetness.

Classic, flashback! Enjoy!

“An alpha female is not a bitch; and abhors the comparison because she revels in using her sweetness to get her way, not evil…”

A common misconception about the alpha female is that she’s an evil bitch.

It couldn’t be more wrong.  A bitch is just a bitch, a very bitter, miserable woman who thinks it’s cute to be mad at everything.  She has no clear objective, targets or strategies.  It’s all about how she’s “feeling” and roller cycle emotions.  An alpha female doesn’t like bitches.  For instance, Martha Stewart is mistakenly described as a bitch, when she is really an alpha female disarming the world by baking cookies.  Actually, if an alpha female’s your boss expect her to fire the department on Friday, and bring a basket of fresh baked cupcakes (that she made herself, thank you) to the rest of her underlings urgently waiting her arrival.  They’ll eat and be thankful that she spared them, and fed them!

The major difference between the bitch and the alpha female is that the alpha female believes in catching bees with honey while the bitch catches bees with poo poo.  Let’s look at two examples.  The first is a bitch who is in a relationship with a man who treats her badly and ignores most of her needs.  The bitch would run him down demanding all kinds of excuses for his actions, threatening him with leaving every two weeks, and bad mouths him to family and friends with hopes that the pressure will break him down to be a better man.  Whew, now that’s a lot of useless work.

An alpha female in the same situation may explore a few different options tailored to her man’s temperament.  But to keep things simple, now hold on to your tiaras ladies, she may actually not give a damn.  True her feelings may be hurt, but she realizes the responsibility to change can only be within her.  She won’t demand him to explain his actions because she knows most people will only play defensive to protect themselves.  She doesn’t threaten to leave unless she’s 110% sure. This is one woman when it’s over, it’s over for good.  She doesn’t bad mouth him to others because it will only make her look as crazy as he is for staying.  Her self image is very important because she knows most of what you get in life is by how others perceive you.  Her word is her bond too.  She doesn’t like playing with them.  Bad mouthing him only adds more nails to the coffin of the relationship because words become reality.

What she does is simply change how she sees the relationship.  It may have started as Mr. Right, but he has turned into Mr. Right Now.  She’ll pursue other interests, maybe even other men on a casual basis, and provide even more space in the relationship until he realizes there’s almost none left.  In between this, she’ll make efforts to communicate, but she will not withhold sex or play any other kinds of games.  She’s simply changing her perspective. If this is not the man for her, she has to keep it moving (we will discuss how to deal with men of high net worth next time because it’s a tad bit different).

Running a man down is not something she’s good at.  As she runs him down, she may end up pushing him in front of a car.  Her main concern is her own sanity and her direction in life.  She loves her man, but she loves herself a little bit more.

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  1. shawniebear says:

    lol so true. I’m called mean by some people and to others I’m the sweetest person in the world. It is what it is though.

  2. AF in the BX says:

    I agree with natalie, AF always gets a bad wrap. But at the same time when ur nice ppl take that for weakness and think ur a dumb bitch. so either way i think there will always be some kind of negative notion attached to AF’s.

  3. calichick says:

    “Running a man down is not something she’s good at.  As she runs him down, she may end up pushing him in front of a car.”
    Funny as hell. Point taken. 

  4. Dana says:

    Love this post. I know understand the difference a bitch and an Alpha woman. It definitely made me take a real good look at myself by rectifying my past errors with men and know not to make the same mistakes in my future relationships. Thanks, Mary Ann! Your posts are definitely appreciated. Love, peace, and Seasons Greetings!!

  5. Loving a bottom B says:

    Never let someones appearance fool you. Martha a bulldog in dress. If your not the one holding the leach or behind her there a good chance your in for it.

  6. Loving a bottom B says:

    You follow when you have a good leader, if your smart. If you don’t have a good leader you need to be able to lead yourself or others. However, you find out the type follows or leaders you really have when you go through some adversity. Those who are quick to jump ship are bad followers and leaders. Adversity makes you a better leader because over coming things make you a better/stronger person and this makes you a better follower since you see your leader over come to continue on. Good post and read.

  7. Natalie says:

    The alpha-female gets a bad wrap I guess people don’t know that you don’t have to be a bitch to get things done; I think I have an AF at work, she was on the verge of being laid off because of downsizing and everyone was like “no no we cant get rid of her she’s the one who buys the yummy gourmet coffee in the morning and makes it for everyone”; she’s a big position too. Don’t you know they kept her because she gave some value to the department, they couldnt miss their gourmet special, she got ’em hooked. She also never tells anybody where she buys it. LOL

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