“It’s better to be alone, than lonely.”–Anonymous
Mary J Blige. Marilyn Monroe. Angelina Jolie. Frida Kahlo. Dorothy Dandridge.
These alphas had (or have!) the world at their finger tips. Crowds of fans, admirers, and well wishers. But one of their most common complaints was loneliness. This is far more complicated than being alone. Loneliness is a feeling. It usually resembles depression, helplessness, isolation and abandonment. You can be in a crowded room and still feel lonely. You can be a happily married man and still feel lonely. No one can “fix” this feeling for you. Only you can shift it from loneliness to fulfillment.
Certain personality types are more inclined to feeling lonely no matter what. When this lonely feeling comes, the knee jerk reaction is to avoid it, take the feeling and replace it with something else—or someone else. There’s a need to avoid it, run from it, and get angry at it. But what about just sitting with it? That deep, lonely, nagging feeling that looms over you all day, sometimes, all week. It makes you cry, and feel out of control, and terribly insecure. But what about inviting it in? Getting to understand what it is telling you?
As an Alphanista, you need to embrace all parts of yourself—the sad, troublesome parts too. These parts, the lonely feelings are there to protect you. They have worked in your favor before. Perhaps, at one time, it kept you from getting your heart broken by making you withdraw from someone, or it gives you the time to reflect on often ignored and unsorted feelings that when given the time can cause a shift in your perception about life.
So, next time you feel lonely. Soak in it with generative tools like: reading, prayer, sleep, or simply coddling yourself. This too shall pass.