Tip 17: How To Be An Alphanista


“Living, not dreaming, Loving, not waiting…”

Too many women are caught up in a dream state.

Unrealistic expectations of success and love.  Okay, so the sky is the limit.  You can have the house on the hill, and the man who makes 8 figures.  But would you be happy with the house in the suburbs with the man who makes 5 figures?  An alpha female knows that any situation is ripe for success.  She doesn’t place emphasis on reaching the sky, but enjoys the flying.  If on her way, she meets a kind, loving, available man who treats her like a princess, guess what?  That just became her reality, because it can very well be someone’s dream.

What I’m saying is: all dreams are relative.  Even if the house in the suburbs or the city is not your dream, it is someone else’s.  You will be living a dream.  However, cleaving onto dreams are also guises for self sabotage.   They are the perfect places to hide.  “Oh, I haven’t applied to that job yet because it isn’t my dream.”  “I don’t want to marry him because he isn’t the man I dreamed of.”   All the while, these situations could be where your dream is realized.

The best things have happened to me when I dived right in.  When I went with it.  This summer, I let go of some “dreams” to broaden my horizon, to enjoy the flight, to create new satisfaction that matches where life has taken me, and where I want to go.

An alpha female lives life. Nothing is perfect because she is far from it.  Her life is complex on so many levels,  deep, and intricate like grandmama’s knits.  Carefully crafted.  Kinda quirky, a little like “okay, wait a minute,” but she likes it.  Keeps her on her toes.  Makes her feel alive.  While her friends are sitting idly by, waiting for their “dream” and watching other lives there, an alpha female has already left the building.

So, ask yourself, what are you waiting for?  Hopefully, you can’t answer that because you are living life, and not analyzing the s*&^ out of it.


  1. missing_pieces says:

    This makes so much sense it’s frightening. I am in a very transitional period in my life and I realize just by reading this post that I’m simply dreaming away my life right now. I’ve got the degree and I’ve been searching for that “dream job” so I can move on to my “dream situation.” However, I’m starting to feel like dreams is for itch-bays who are too scared to just live life as it comes. I’m gonna’ take a minute to reflect on this one.

  2. Gloria says:

    OMG this is so true but people can take it to mean forgetting your dreams and it IS NOT. Life is not waiting for me to figure it out and plan plan plan. I loved this post. When we learn to accept life that is when gifts come. Alot of women are seeing their lives walk on by and YEARS.

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