Weekend Rewind: Tip 16: How To Be An Alphanista
“The power of silence….is power'”
In a previous a tip, I wrote about how alpha females are rarely ever prone to emotional outbursts and don’t respect women who are.
So, how does one react when trouble’s brewing or when you found out you’ve been lied to? What should be the fist reaction?
Well, let’s look at the typical female reaction–tears, defensiveness, yells, funny mean faces, finger swirling and pointing at inanimate objects, and lots of heavy breathing.
Breathing is good. But the rest, not so much. There’s a 50% chance that all the fuss you created was because of nothing, some miscommunication that can get cleared up in a matter of hours, and you’re going to back together–anyway.
The best approach is one of silence. This works. Especially if the other party is in the wrong, you are the so-called victim. Either way, victim or not silence is deadlier than a rant. When someone is silent you don’t know what they are thinking. It’s frustrating, brutal, like a heavy monkey on your back that weighs you down and suffocates you. Now, how can you do this in the midst of debacle?
Walk out, walk away, hang up (say bye first), and just take a breath. No one said, you have to have an answer right then or there, or solve the problem at that moment. You have a chance to calm down, assess the best action, and then strike, preferably in a way that makes sense. Unfortunately, angry women aren’t known to be logical. But logic is an Alphanista’s best skill.
Gabrielle, an associate of mine, was born an alpha female. She confided in me about the day she found out that her husband was still talking to his ex-wife. It was a morning where the proof was right there. She approached him, and he asked her, “What are you going to do about it?” She was furious, but she didn’t ball. She gathered some things and drove to a friend’s house and assessed the situation. She told me she shouted and cussed in her car, but wasn’t going to end it that way. Suddenly her husband’s bravado tone changed. Everyday, he called her repeatedly apologetic. He met her everyday at the school where she picked up the kids. Again, silence. He broke down after the first week, and confessed. He said he had to know what she was thinking. They had a long talk. They hadn’t had sex in 3 years. They were on the verge of divorce. Once all the feelings, truths and facts were out they made the best decision for themselves.
If she had done anything else, it’s possible the cops could have been called, or worse. Gabrielle is a hot-headed Italian girl with a temper she’s fought all her life to control.
Alphanistas cry and all of that but when she does it’s for good reason. It’s not used for manipulation. It’s also not “get out of my face-I-hate you” angry tears. But it’s s deep burn. When the other party sees it, they’ll know it’s rare and it’s possible the relationship or association is destroyed for good.
This is realistic. Silence in most common disagreements allows you to make informed decisions and stick to them. Silence is golden, yeah, but your cheapest weapon, too.
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