5 Things I’ll Never Get Used To As An Alphanista

newyorkBy Guest Blogger Te-Erika Patterson

People staring at me
What the hell are you looking at? You’ve never seen a raw ass b*tch with a short cut before?! Damn! Just go ahead and take out your camera and ask me for a picture while you’re at it!

People asking me for advice
What in the hell? Do I look like a counselor to you? I haven’t even made my first million yet- you’re the one driving the Beemer! Just because I don’t give a damn about what you think (and you wanna be more like that) doesn’t mean at any given moment I’m willing to listen to your problems and teach you how to think. Here’s my main piece of advice so you won’t have to ask me again. “F**k what they think about you!”

Dudes walking up to me with hard-on’s
Dude! Control your penis. Why in the hell are you introducing yourself to me and your ding-a-ling is about to poke me in the belly? Go BUY some kitty kat if it’s that serious. Just because you did that, I’m NEVER having sex with you!

Invitations to go party-hopping
Hell NO I’m not going to South Beach with you when we just met! I know you just want to show me off and pretend like you have a hot girlfriend when I am not even trying to give you any booty. Take it slow. Let me see that you deserve to have me as your trophy for an evening. Don’t think you can boost your star quality by rolling with me and you haven’t even paid any of my bills yet.

Women asking me to go shopping with them
The truth is— I hate to shop! I just throw on a mixture of stuff from my closet to create my signature style. I’m not your personal stylist. I am not going to the mall with you to help you put together your look. Create your own style and if you can’t, just go with the simple way to be glam. Buy a white wife beater and wear your favorite pair of jeans with a pair of heels (the color or style of heels doesn’t matter). Go inside the dollar store and find the craziest pair of earrings you see and a bracelet that does not match. Put it all together. Go out and be admired.

Honorable Mention
Being so popular but being so lonely
Why is it that everyone wants my advice, my attention and my time yet…every night I’m on facebook and twitter just itching for a conversation? I haven’t gotten any in MONTHS and I never go out and relax and socialize. I’m so focused on ‘becoming’ that I sometimes forget to just ‘BE’. I’m tired of this solitary confinement. I feel like Ariel in the Little Mermaid. ~singing~ I wanna be where the people are….

To find out more about this guest blogger, please go to http://te-erika.blogspot.com/.


  1. Aisha says:

    Wow, and let the church say Amen! I have all of these same issues maybe not the female swagger jacker part but that’s probably because I shop while everyone else is at work and I keep my real life female contact very limited. Its sometimes an oxymoron to be an alphanista lonely but never truly alone.

  2. Kris says:

    Yep…so true. I give advice but like to listen. Everybody wants to say oh your all together. Yeah you don’t know the half. All of these so called buddies on Facebook and I end up alone at night. Men stare and the older one’s have the courage to speak and you can tell they horn dogs….haha! Oh woes me, but I love me!

  3. hiphopmuse says:

    I don’t like going shopping with other women, unless it’s with a friend who has her own personal style. Chicks be swagger jacking, I usually go it alone.

  4. ThatOne says:

    @T I totally relate to you! I give advice all the time! Who do I have to go to for advice? I am alone and feel alone and everybody thinks all is so well with me and it ain’t. I have refused to give advice and just do me. I have sung that little mermaid song but I know I must love me more!

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