Weekend Rewind: The Single Girl’s Thank You List (Not What You Think)
November 6, 2009
This made the rounds all over the internet and Lipstick Alley. Another classic. Enjoy!
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What single isn’t tired of writing down their gratitude list?
I have so many gratitude lists that the excitement of writing a new one is underwhelming. I’m grateful, yeah, but why do single folks always have to be the first to put on a smile when something is wrong? What’s wrong with just accepting that something, well, is wrong? And ‘ya don’t like it, and you’ve had enough. Nothing is wrong with that. The only way we can move forward in life is move through it–the stickiness, the pain, the doubt, the anxiety. You have no more answers, you don’t know what else to do. There’s no use in snuggling up to your favorite journal and writing another list if you want to shoot yourself every night.
Sometimes, you gotta sleep with the pain and make friends with it until one morning it’s different. That’s called acceptance. Once you let go of the reigns, things begin to shift, even when it all looks like it’s going to hell. And that’s how it happens, suddenly, and without explanation. So, this is an oldie, but goodie. Enjoy!
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This list is not for the single girls who are happy being single. You do what you gotta do. This list is for the single girls who can walk a mile in Loub boots without breaking their stride. For those done with faking smiles and playing a position in life that no longer suits who they are. They are fully capable of having a successful relationship and own up to the fact that they’re not Ms. Perfect either. They’ve read the self-help books, taken the dating classes, signed up for the life coach, and registered for the relationship boot camp. All knowing that it’s just something to do until “the big one” preferably tall, handsome and available.
They have every certification besides the coveted one and frankly, they are bored out of their minds. Not with themselves, though. Not in an angry or resigned way, but in a way that suggests they are over with playing make-believe–making believe to others that they are satisfied with their life ‘as is’. Making believe to friends and family that “having it all” doesn’t really matter anymore. This is for the single girl, an “alphanista” who isn’t too proud to shout:
1. I don’t want to buy myself gifts anymore, would like a man to, thank you!
2. I am tired of acting like I’m actually happy going home alone, have run out of candles, and slow jams for the last time, thank you!
3. I am tired of dating myself; “myself” officially called me and said she wants to see other people, thank you!
4. I am tired of zipping up the back of my dress, shoulder officially dislocated by third try, thank you!
5. I am tired of FINDING MYSELF thank you!
6. I don’t want to MEET HIM WHEN I’M NOT LOOKING thank you!
7. I am tired of acting like I don’t care that I don’t have a man to love and get love thank you!
8. I am tired of coming home drunk from a party and no one to_________ thank you!
9. I don’t want to spend another Friday night with the girls convincing each other that it’s okay if it’s this way forever; no it ain’t, thank you!
10. I DO want to be treated like a lady, respected as a woman, and made to feel safe like a little girl from a man who has the capacity to give me the space to be an even greater woman, just like you got at home, thank you!
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ok, i just passed this around to friends this is funny and true as hell!
Preach!
NUMBER 5 IS ME. IF ONE MORE PERSON TELLS ME I HAVE TO FIND MYSELF FIRST….
So this list definitely hit home. Just found the site and will continue to lurk.
LOL at number 3!!!! that is so true and so me.(my vibrator broke up with me too) And i’m just tired of coming home sober and not having anyone to ****. Preach sista! like your spot will check you out more. found you via Fresh (c&d)
WOW! I thought I was happy with being single…. till’ I read that list.
@ Caruh, LOL I feel you. That list is too funny though. I love Fresh for putting me up on this site.
This is toooo funny! I am going to pass this on to all my girlfriends! #6 hit it right on the nail for me! If I have to hear that one more time…!
Stop finding yourselves ladies and find a man. The local prison is stock full of them. Get a fixer upper. You cant always find the man exactly as you want him, but if you can get close enough then you can work on the other stuff. It sounds like what you ladies need is a man with “Get Lost Money”. If you dont know what that is just goggle Kounty Boyz.
Please don’t go to the Prisons. Well, if you are purely into physical qualities, then please. But, there are plenty of single men out there.
Thank you, thank you! As a hard-wroking “independent woman”, I always feel like I have to “act” like I am okay with no man. Well, you guessed it, I AM NOT!! I am a human being and I was not made to sleep alone every night and make myself happy with pretty things. Hell, I am sitting here now with a glass of wine soothing myself!! Thanks Alphanista.
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LOL I cosign on #10 But no matter how much I agree w/the list I will never get tired of Finding and Being Myself. But Good Luck Ladies Single/Sexy/Free
Love, EbonyLolita
@Walter Johnson Your sarcasm has bad timing in here
Fixer uppers are houses that need new drapes or a room of your own painted in a favorite color – NOT men who live up to number 10.
Number 6 always gets my goat. seriously, when you talk to people who already have a significant other they always say that line. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
I LOVE THIS!! Where was this 2-3 years ago? My married girlfriends (they all are) give me that pittiful response (#6) when I try to explain these exact sentiments. Once again, I am glad to know that I am not the only one. Though, I have to agree with EbonyLolita. I dont think I will ever get tired of \”Finding Myself\”, I cringe at the inference that I have not YET found myself, and that is the reason I am still single. My piggy-back: #11-I DO believe that there is a man that God is still working on, for me, that will see #10 in me…
Blessings All!!