The Alpha-Female–More Than A Woman

Author: terryleewhite
Author: terryleewhite

Unlike the Alpha-Male who has extensive studies on his conduct and behavior, the research on this peculiar type of woman is still limited.

I know it well, because I wear it well. Always tried to subdue it, but I’ve surrended. So, I made a list. An AF is a quintessential woman. She’s me. All of the major female characters in my novels are an embodiment of the AF. There is none like her, just like her counterpart the Alpha Male. Though they are many Alpha males and men who want to be like him, there are few genuine AFs. Not too many women want to be like her, because they want to be liked by other women. AFs are way beyond that. She doesn’t get her identity from other women, but one she alone defines. Both Alphas can be found in nature among the animal kind. Check out the wolves. Study wolf-pack behavior. The AF is unique in that she’s not a bitch, she’s not a saint, she just wins.

An Alpha-Female (AF) is:

1. A woman unafraid to use, and sometimes, exploit her femininity to get her way with men or seal a business deal

2. A woman who is completely in control of her destiny

3. Usually a loner, has a “clique” or a pack when ready, but AFs are cave dwellers and truly blossom when with their complementary half, an Alpha Male. She is dominant over all men and women, except her Alpha male (AFs eat Beta men for breakfast, by the way)

4. Ruthless, more so than a man, because you never see it coming, she’ll smile, then cut ‘ya

5. A woman who cannot be categorized, and will always rise above the stereotype of being “female” or rise above a group; in fact she doesn’t even think she is a “woman” for she is embarrassed to the level many have succumbed to by their emotional recklessness; Former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher once said, “Don’t ask me about being a woman” and she had no female members in her cabinet

6. You immediately know when an AF walks in the room; enters at the same status as the leaders in the room, she glides in; close mouthed smile, eyes canvassing everything for the big swoop down

7. She is full of contradictions often keeping her male partner in a suspended state, not sure exactly what to do with her

8. Have a hard time at work because of their innate leadership skills and can
ruffle the wrong feathers; eventually she manages to rise to the top because of her style and intellect

9. She is not a bitch; and abhors the comparison because she revels in using her sweetness to get her way, not evil

10. She crushes her female competition to get the most wanted man in the room, in fact she revels in her power over men, in fact, men love her for it

I say if there are 10 women in the room, only 1 is really an AF. The AF’s route in life is quite different from that of other women. She’s almost always successful on whatever she focuses on though she may not have gotten there as neat and tidy as everyone else. She has come a long way, and often feels misunderstood as cold, a bitch or a whore. Once she can embrace all of herself to accept her AF nature can she shine. Just don’t cross her 😉 For one of my strongest AF characters, check out my book, Mrs. Big who scores a major coup and changes her lifestyle on a dime.


  1. King12 says:

    This is the most stupidest shit ever . There is only good people and bad people no alpha or beta .
    We are humans and we use our intelligence to do things, we are not like a bunch of wild animals u morons . Haha People these days buy way to much into stupid things like this .

  2. twelve says:

    I do’t believe an Alpha female is a mirror image of the Alpha male , that’s ridiculous , An Alpha male is a Male who has Masculine traits held in high regard by other Males , and as some of those strengths are to compete with ease , dominate with little effort , and be admired by other Alpha’s in the tribe , using all his masculine attributes to achieve his goal .Leadership is his main motivation and he fully expects and welcomes the tough choice’s he will have to make to maintain his status

    Female Alpha’s in contrast have Feminine traits that are held in high regard by other Females , the most admired are those of Wisdom , intuition , and an ability to to observe read and predict human behaviour , couple this with being an expert communicator, then there are not many things that will stand in this woman’s way . The Female Alpha does not necessarily want to Lead , rather than accomplish status in a way that she is not Led or controlled by anyone else .

    I did not focus on physical attributes as these are highly valued in both sexes , and it is society that pushes a certain trends in this regard not Human Nature .

  3. Woman says:

    I have a few close female friends, but I tend to keep to myself by choice, because when I find myself interacting with a group of young women like myself, “bonding” is accomplished by talking about people and sharing details of your personal life.

    It used to not bother me so much when I was young and naive, but after gaining some life experience and being the subject of malicious gossip myself, I can no longer go back to “Ooh did you know she fucked 3 guys and got pregnant and didn’t know who the dad was??” and “I can’t stand that uppity bitch, she thinks she’s all of that, she’s ugly and she thinks she’s fine!”

    So? Maybe we should all feel as good about ourselves as that “uppity bitch”.

  4. Jennifer A. says:

    TAH HA …. could care less. Is there anything as none of the above?

    I can not stand Alpha women who think EVERYONE SHOULD bow down to them. There is a lot of them in Dallas texas. Once something bad happens she or He takes no reponsibility for ANYTHING.

    I am so glad I don’t live my life being shallow hurtful and annoying to others. so glad.

    sick people who need some help.

  5. SDulys says:

    I’m definitely an alpha woman but I don’t entirely agree with this list, in particular:

    “in fact she doesn’t even think she is a “woman” for she is embarrassed to the level many have succumbed to by their emotional recklessness; Former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher once said, “Don’t ask me about being a woman” and she had no female members in her cabinet”

    Absolutely disagree; I’m VERY MUCH a woman and I know it. But I don’t try to police other women’s behavior and what others do is not a reflection on me or my identity as a female so I’m certainly not embarrassed by it. To each her own.

    “She is not a bitch; and abhors the comparison because she revels in using her sweetness to get her way, not evil”

    I don’t care about being called a bitch or evil as they are relative terms. What’s “bitchy or “evil” in one person’s view may simply be “assertive” or “calculating” to another and it doesn’t bother me when people say it. It’s their problem, not mine.

    “She crushes her female competition to get the most wanted man in the room, in fact she revels in her power over men, in fact, men love her for it”

    I definitely don’t believe in “crushing” other females for a man’s attention; I don’t think a man is worth competing for. Very few people draw me in but if I want someone and they’re available, I go after them but I’ve never had to compete. But then again, I’m bisexual and since I have twice as many options as straight women do, perhaps that’s why I lack that need to compete.

  6. joanna says:

    At least one of my sisters if not 3 of the 4 of us are definitely alphas. We only compete with members in most sports since as hybrids there is no real competition with beta women. We spend parties sitting with the men as we find female conversation boring. Beta women hate us and believe we want to sleep with your men, not true, we could but they’re likely a beta male too and therefore of no interest to us. We are smarter, with higher IQ’s than beta women, again making competition *yawn* boring. We prefer the company of beta males as we are equals with them. We can be slightly intimidated by alpha males when they are pursuing us, but when they catch us its fireworks all the time.

  7. Tee Yung says:

    This is a perfect description of me! I have been an alpha female all my life. I am currently dating an alpha male and am in love. Beta men have no chance with me. I am dating an alpha male who is the mirror image of me and love it! We are not bad, we just stand out from other women and just find it hard to be impressed by the average. We are usually gorgeous women with a whole lot more to offer and require a lot of work. we do not play hard to get, we are hard to get!

  8. Ashe says:

    “A woman unafraid to use, and sometimes, exploit her femininity to get her way with men or seal a business deal”

    Wow umm…use of unfair advantage anyone? That’s not earning your way, that’s making a free pass. I’m sorry, but I can’t respect any woman who uses her body to get her way. The body is used to express love on an emotional level to a special partner—it has absolutely nothing to do with business. If you feel you have to use your body to get your way, then you must be too mentally deficient to be able to earn anything the proper way. If you’re really an alpha female, then you think like a man; a man doesn’t use his body to move up, he uses his intelligence. No matter how far you move up using your body, you’re never going to be anything better than just an easy whore who slept your way to the top, nothing that is actually worth respect. If you’re going to be the best at something, do it with class and self-respect, or get out of the game.

  9. Maryann says:

    @Alpha may I recommend the Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr Laura Schlessinger? Excellent book for alpha wives.

  10. ALPHA FEMALE says:

    I’m alpha female but look very feminine. I have found a lot of people are intimidated by me and I hate it. I don’t have very many female friends. Men seem to either like me or hate me. If they hate me it’s because they aren’t usually alpha themselves or suffer from lack of self-esteem. I get along best with other alpha males and yes the sex is always hot with an alpha male. My husband is so not alpha! I wish he was.

  11. angelnmo says:

    I laugh when I am at an event and watch all those sorry azz women ‘trying’ to be alpha females. I don’t give a flying fu@k what any of the women in the room think about me. I have always gotten along with men far better than women, and I dont have to be the loudest, flashiest woman in the room to feel like an alpha. Silent and strongwilled beats loud all bark, no bite types of women any day. To me, alphas are those women who talk about what they gonna do to a bitch. I just wait till she gets in my face and knock her ass out!

  12. Anonymous says:

    Alpha Females are queens and the super bottem B in my view. They require an alpha male who they feel comfortable submitting to at home. As you can see Kimora dosent act the same with that new guys as she did with Russ. Russ was weak, the new guys isnt.

    Loving a bottom B

  13. Anonymous says:

    I’m a beta man. i’m a laid back type of dude, simple, got a lot of friends, quiet, very sensitive at times. And I’ve always had horrible relationships with Alpha females, almost on the verge that they are verbally abusive to me. They r demanding and loud. Poster is right, they don’t belong with beta men. I never got in a word edge wise, she was always pushing me, pushing me, to be more. i was fine with my job, but she wanted more more. alpha females do belong with alpha males because they are the only ones who can conquer her. i got myself a beta chick right now and we good in the hood.

  14. Alpha Male, and I ain't talking bout no fraternity says:

    LMAO…I have been watching this blog ALL day. The only person who would have a problem with an Alpha woman is a BETA MAN OR BETA FEMALE. Everyone thinks they have the Alpha Female figured out and they don’t. For the poster who said something about it being hard for her, it is only hard for her if she wants it to be. MOST Alpha Men want an Alpha Female the two get off talking about taking over the world, who the *uck cares about that on a daily basis. As a man, I love my Alpha woman and I got that ass every night. I understand her, and she understands me. I’d never let any woman disrespect me. I’d try a BETA trick (or chick) to drink. Only an Alpha woman can handle me. Not interested in no BETA chick. They can’t help me with the takeover. LOL.

  15. Anonymous says:

    According to Nicola Cairncross a speaker on womens finance and author of the book “The Money Gym” The ultimate wealth workout,says; “Sadly, the clever attractive Alpha woman who has her set on an Alpha man is likely to be disapointed. When Alpha man comes home at night after a day of competing in the boardroom the last thing he wants is to compete with an assertive wife as well. He’s looking for an easy life, someone to stroke his fevered brow and that means marring a feminine, girly BETA woman who doesnt have the masculine traits of her Alpha sister. Check your Alpha at work and bring home the BETA!!

  16. Anonymous says:

    I think people are not animals, and this has nothing to do with feminism. Do women need a special tag to be “strong” “confident” “a leader”? Most alpha females DO NOT have a femine persona at all. The vision of alpha male as the only being to truly understand the alpha female is rediculous! alpha is always closely related to omega. Alpha+Alpha sounds Homoerotic if you ask me!

  17. Leah Mullen says:

    Interesting post. As a capricorn woman–and because of the way I was raised as an accidental feminist. (Parents told me not to have children, not to get involved with men, to be independent, to be a success.)

    So I have a lot of the qualities (the driven, independent loner) of the alpha female but my motivations are VASTLY different. It’s more about success/survival, but in no way is it about any kind of manipulation or domination.

  18. Shannon says:

    I was watching desperate housewives last night, and this reminds me, Bri is an Alpha Female, and in SATC, it must be Samantha.

  19. An Alpha Female says:

    To all the ladies, and gents, who read this and wondering if they are–you are NOT. Though the post didn’t say it, you can only be born with this. You can pick up some traits, but most women if they tried will just turn into a bitch. Alpha females are queens when it comes to seduction of money, power, and men. They will take over the damn company, and come to work the next day with a basket of homemade, chewy cookies for her underlings.

  20. Miami, FL says:

    I read about this a biology class I took in college and my instructor said that there is a real chemical in the brain that make alphas different than anyone else and how they are the ones who sustain and protect our genetic pool as humans….wow..i wanna be an alpha female 🙁

  21. Anonymous says:

    My wife and I are both Alphas. She doesnt try to dominate me or anything and we work together. The post is right about how an alpha female responds to the Alpha Male. We have a truly unique relationship and we both stay in our lanes, but the sex is amazing with an alpha woman 🙂

  22. Anonymous says:

    def not an alpha female myself would like to be but i dont think that is something u can fake–when i walk in the room i just try to find a chair and get out of people’s way tryin to come in as invisible as possible, guess i would fail

  23. Julissa says:

    interesting i always though kimora was one, not tyra at all, she is too whiny, too annoying, too conformatory (is that a word) too much of nothing, good blog!

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