Tag: teerika patterson

5 Things I’ll Never Get Used To As An Alphanista

newyorkBy Guest Blogger Te-Erika Patterson

People staring at me
What the hell are you looking at? You’ve never seen a raw ass b*tch with a short cut before?! Damn! Just go ahead and take out your camera and ask me for a picture while you’re at it!

People asking me for advice
What in the hell? Do I look like a counselor to you? I haven’t even made my first million yet- you’re the one driving the Beemer! Just because I don’t give a damn about what you think (and you wanna be more like that) doesn’t mean at any given moment I’m willing to listen to your problems and teach you how to think. Here’s my main piece of advice so you won’t have to ask me again. “F**k what they think about you!”

Dudes walking up to me with hard-on’s
Dude! Control your penis. Why in the hell are you introducing yourself to me and your ding-a-ling is about to poke me in the belly? Go BUY some kitty kat if it’s that serious. Just because you did that, I’m NEVER having sex with you!

Invitations to go party-hopping
Hell NO I’m not going to South Beach with you when we just met! I know you just want to show me off and pretend like you have a hot girlfriend when I am not even trying to give you any booty. Take it slow. Let me see that you deserve to have me as your trophy for an evening. Don’t think you can boost your star quality by rolling with me and you haven’t even paid any of my bills yet.

Women asking me to go shopping with them
The truth is— I hate to shop! I just throw on a mixture of stuff from my closet to create my signature style. I’m not your personal stylist. I am not going to the mall with you to help you put together your look. Create your own style and if you can’t, just go with the simple way to be glam. Buy a white wife beater and wear your favorite pair of jeans with a pair of heels (the color or style of heels doesn’t matter). Go inside the dollar store and find the craziest pair of earrings you see and a bracelet that does not match. Put it all together. Go out and be admired.

Honorable Mention
Being so popular but being so lonely
Why is it that everyone wants my advice, my attention and my time yet…every night I’m on facebook and twitter just itching for a conversation? I haven’t gotten any in MONTHS and I never go out and relax and socialize. I’m so focused on ‘becoming’ that I sometimes forget to just ‘BE’. I’m tired of this solitary confinement. I feel like Ariel in the Little Mermaid. ~singing~ I wanna be where the people are….

To find out more about this guest blogger, please go to http://te-erika.blogspot.com/.

All I Want For Christmas

Credit: AzmanL

By Te-Erika Patterson

Do you want to delight your Alphanista this holiday season? It’s not too late to earn her appreciation. Try any of these gift ideas to make your superstar smile.

A Delicious Meal – She’s so worn out from building her empire (or supporting you while you build yours) that she needs some replenishment. Tell her you have something special for her. Have her wait for you in her favorite cozy spot while you make her a home made meal filled with her favorite treats. Don’t forget dessert and you might get some dessert later.

Something That Sparkles – She LOVES sparkles. Preferably the Asscher cut. No more than 1 ½ karats though; anything larger will be too gaudy.

A Body Massage – She’ll remember why she chose you when she’s listening to Orange Moon by Erykah Badu as you caress her naked body with sweet smelling lotions while telling her all the ways she intrigues and delights you. Don’t forget the happy ending. Yes, ladies love that too!

A Pleasant Surprise – A new sound system for her car or even a connection she’s been trying to make to help her reach her next goal. Do something  that she can’t quite seem to do for herself and watch her melt in your arms.

A Real Orgasm – It’s not about you tonight. It’s about making love to her entire body. Pay special attention to the area behind her knees and her collarbone.  Strategically place tasty fruits and desserts across her body and don’t leave a crumb behind as you have your midnight snack. Find her Oh Button. You know just where it is. Press it. Often. Make her beg you to stop.

Te-Erika Patterson frequently writes blog posts for Alphanista.  To learn more about her visit her at www.te-erika.blogspot.com.

Alpha Read: It’s Not A Sin To Be Single

Greetings Sisters Of the Sublime Life!

I do hope you’ve enjoyed the latest offerings on Alphanista.com. As a the Senior Writer for Alphanista.com and an inspirational writer and Relationship Coach, I aim to help you cultivate your dream life. In addition to more than 200 original articles, videos and eBooks I am proud to offer my very first print book. Just in time for Valentines Day, my latest book is called It’s Not A Sin To Be Single.

It’s Not A Sin To Be Single tackles the following questions:

Why is there so much pressure to be married?

What can I say to people when they ask me why I’m still single?

How do I satisfy my sexual desires as a single person?

How can I change the way I view my position as a single parent?

How can I learn to love myself as I am?

Are there any benefits to being single?

Why am I so miserable?

Will I ever get over the demise of my last relationship?

Is it okay to dream about having my ideal relationship?

There is nothing wrong with you.

That’s right, you read correctly. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Being single is not a punishment. You didn’t do anything wrong. You are exactly where you are supposed to be at this moment. This moment is necessary. The only thing holding you back is the fact that you haven’t discovered why who you are right now, is exactly who you need to be. – Te-Erika Patterson

You can order online by visiting my online store. Shipping takes just 3-5 days.

I do hope this book blesses you.

Dating Obama: An Alphanista’s Search

By Te-Erika Patterson

The Alphanista is fascinated by the relationship between our President Barack Obama and his wife Michelle. The First Lady and her husband are an Alphanista match made in heaven.  With her strength, will and support, he has accomplished a feat that many never thought was possible. Despite walking into the aftermath of a failing economy and many nay sayers, he has stood firm in his strategic plan of reform. Together, they have made history and inspired a new romantic fantasy.

The election of our country’s first Black president has had a slow leaking effect on African Americans nationwide. After the inception of this website which speaks to women who strive to recognize and utilize their innate powers to create their best lives, thousands of women have emerged expressing their gratitude for a website that caters to their idealized lifestyle as well as appreciating the guidance, entertainment and encouraging words of those who are currently walking the path.

Many expressed a desire for guidance on how to attract their ideal mate and the staff at Alphanista crafted a plan to help connect them.

In January 2011, we will feature our very first Alphanista Eligible Bachelor of The Month. This monthly feature will profile the country’s finest, most successful men who, much like President Barack Obama, are poised to contribute greatness to this society. He is a man clothed in accomplishment who adds value to his community. We believe that President Obama’s prominence has ignited a new fire in African American women and men. No longer are we looking toward top billing entertainers as representatives of our voice; our voice has changed. It is now being bellowed from the mountain tops from men and women who value education, creative entrepreneurship and a strong business acumen grounded in the belief that we can achieve our heart’s desires by sheer will power and active faith. These are the type of men that would make an Alphanista drool.

Do you know a future Barack Obama who is remarkable beyond measure? If you or someone you know meets these criteria, please send us an email at alphamales@alphanista.com with contact information and a brief paragraph explaining why they should be featured as an Eligible Bachelor. The chosen participants will receive special surprises and an award from our site which gives them the grade A stamp of approval from Alphanistas across the globe.

  • Must be a Male
  • Single
  • Hold a Masters Degree or higher in any field (Entrepreneurship may be substituted for education)
  • Charming
  • A leader in any civic, social or business organization
  • Age 30 and older
  • At least 2 years as an entrepreneur or in an executive position
  • Spiritually grounded

Te-Erika Patterson frequently writes blog posts for Alphanista.  To learn more about her visit her at www.te-erika.blogspot.com.

My Future Obama: March 2011 Most Eligible Bachelor

By Te-Erika Patterson

Andriankoto Ratozamanana Harinjaka

Age/Zodiac Sign: 32 / Leo

Hometown: Antananarivo / Madagascar

Current City: Antananarivo/ Madagascar

Colleges/Universities Attended: Open University (UK) – Communication and New Media at Provence University (France) Liberal Arts Law and Political Sciences at Paul Cézanne University (France)

He is best known for founding FOKO Club, an organization training Malagasy youth in journalism, computers, blogging and English. FOKO has an amazing track record of empowering young journalists, who in turn have been telling important stories and changing the lives of people they report on in Madagascar.

He also spearheaded the organization of www.vakanala.org an energetic group of concerned citizens and development experts who specialize in biodiversity conservation and rural development in Madagascar.

He is a 2009 TED Fellows Honoree which ranks him among the top leaders in the world.

Can you offer advice for young men who want to be leaders?

To be a good leader means that one can inspire others to follow your good  example, willingly and cheerfully. There are many  required  qualities that young leaders must have. I think it is very important to have a sense of humanism in any enterprise where one wants to lead his people. To develop that, the young men who want to be leaders have to learn deeply from the past.

What is your favorite inspirational quote?

“I am limitless. I know no boundaries as I live unconditional love and creativity. I recognize my true identity.” ~Barbara J. Gress

Which song makes you want to get up and dance?

Teddy Pendergrass – When Somebody Loves You Back

What is the woman of your dreams like?

The woman of my dream is a woman of truth and beauty who is also smart, loving, honest, faithful and open minded. She is someone who will partner with me to look together in the same direction for our futures.

Tell us about your biggest achievement and why you are proud of it.

My biggest achievement was to be chosen as one of the 40 inaugural TED Fellows class in 2009. I was selected from over 850 applicants for my work on bringing awareness to Africa.

TED is a renowned four-day annual event where the world’s leading thinkers and doers are invited to share what they are most passionate about. TED stands for Technology, Entertainment, Design — three broad areas shaping our future. Today TED showcases ideas that matter in any discipline. discipline.

TED is a renowned four-day annual event where the world’s leading thinkers and doers are invited to share what they are most passionate about. TED stands for Technology, Entertainment, Design — three broad areas shaping our future. Today TED showcases ideas that matter in any discipline. Past speakers have included Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, Jane Goodall, Frank Gehry, Paul Simon, Richard Branson, Philippe Starck, Bono, Karen Armstrong and Gordon Brown. You can find out more at http://www.ted.com/fellows.

To nominate a bachelor please send emails to alphamales at alphanista dot com.

To read more please go to http://www.alphanista.com/dating-obama.

The Alphanista’s Nightmare

By Te-Erika Patterson

An Alphanista is a woman of poise and balance, actively deciding that she can control any negative emotions and turn any situation into one that is beneficial to her.

However, there are a few things that will cause an Alphanista to become enraged, disgusted and annoyed to the point where she will release her inner tigress and anyone in her pathway will not be pleased.

  • Unaccommodating Men – Are you telling me No? Is that because you can’t afford it or because you just don’t want to? Either way, there is no way I will have a man in my life that isn’t adamant about making sure I am well taken care of. I am an invaluable addition to your life; you need to be the same in mine.
  • Waiting In Line – Open the door. Let me in. It’s quite simple. You will not make me wait because I am a blessing to your establishment and you know it. Don’t make me upset.
  • Raggedy Shoes – Oh my gosh! There’s a recycling bin for those. Payless is downtown somewhere.  I’ll give you a ride.
  • Asking For Permission – I. Can. Not. Stand. Waiting for someone to reply to a request of mine.  For me, life is like an ATM, I put my request in, it spits out what I want. If you can’t recognize the value in giving me what I am asking for I will get it from somewhere else. If you’re smart, you won’t deny my request.  Making me happy will benefit you later.
  • Trends – Oh wow. Thank you so much for buying me the jacket you saw Nicki Minaj wearing on the VMA’s but, um, I’m sorry honey, I don’t follow trends, I start them.
  • Powerless Women – You make me want to cry. You have all of these powers yet you aren’t even aware of them, much less capable of using them. You consistently give your powers away to him, to him and her. Why? Why would you do that? Don’t you know that you can have the life you always dreamt of if you just took your power back?

Please, let me help you. Join the Alphanista Inner Circle. Change your life.

Te-Erika Patterson frequently writes blog posts for Alphanista.  To learn more about her visit her at www.te-erika.blogspot.com.

How To STOP Being An Alphanista

By Te-Erika Patterson

If you are an Alphanista who is just beginning to become aware of how to use your powers you may feel like you’re lost in wonderland.

You look around and you feel out of place in your surroundings, then again, you’ve always felt this way.  While you are undertaking the immense task of strengthening yourself internally and building your dream life you may become discouraged. You don’t understand why what you believe you deserve and what you are getting doesn’t quite match up.

You notice your friends who are of a different mindset and how they seem to be prospering. You ask yourself, “Are my standards too high?” “Do I want too much?” “Is it really possible to live the lifestyle I know I belong in?”

You wish you could be normal. You wish you could be average. You wish you could simply work a job and go home to your apartment and be happy. You can do that. You can stop being an Alphanista by following these four tips.

  • STOP thinking about beautiful things.
  • STOP expecting the best for your life.
  • STOP having such high standards for a mate.
  • STOP treating yourself well.

Once you commit to following these tips you are no longer an Alphanista.  You can now buy a black t-shirt and join the crowd of women who mindlessly float through life following trends and allowing others to dictate what they should want from life.

Happy now?

I think not. You can take all the action you want, but if you are a true Alpha, you will never get rid of the desire.

Keep moving forward. Your brightest future is on its way. Trust.

Te-Erika Patterson frequently writes blog posts for Alphanista.  To learn more about her visit her at www.te-erika.blogspot.com.


Interested in the next cycle of the Alphanista Inner Circle that starts in January?  Sign up and subscribe on the upper right of the home page.  P.S.  It’s not for everybody.

Depression Inspiration: The Disillusioned Alphanista

By Te-Erika Patterson

Yes, the Alphanista is delusional.

She has to be in this world. She recognizes that her ability to create the world around her is a direct reflection of her thoughts and perception so she perceives everything to b grand. Her morning cup of coffee or tea is a royal ritual in her mind. The world spins at her command, but on some days, even for the Alphanista, the carrousel stops.

What happens when the Alphanista wakes up to find that running her empire requires 26 hours a day and her husband is distant and cold due to his immense responsibilities? She’s over worked and feeling unappreciated because she cannot simply delegate her top priorities to others, no one can steer her ship like she can. She may feel like running away. The dream attained at last, doesn’t seem so dreamy after all.

“Who am I?” she may ask herself. “Who is this man I’m sleeping with? Where is the fairy tale I fought so hard for, prayed for and believed I deserved?”

At this point, the Alphanista has two choices, she can either, put on a brave (fake) face and continue the grind until her body reflects the condition of her heart or she will take a step back and take a much needed break. This may mean resigning from her charity work or putting a stop to the intense work out regimen she subjects herself to in order to whip her body into shape for the dream she envisions. She stands back and simply allows herself to be.

The process of BE~ING is the most difficult process that many can undertake. This fast paced society rings the alarm most ardently informing us that we are nothing if our bank accounts aren’t overflowing and our names aren’t in the society papers. We believe that to be admired and adored will lead to happiness, but really it leads to a never ending chase to maintain that status. Every award becomes outdated. Every gold medal loses its shine. So then what? What happens when the song you wrote starts falling off the charts? What happens when your last book isn’t even carried in book stores anymore? What happens when a younger Alphanista steps onto the scene and is now carrying the torch you used to claim?

Who are you then?

You are still the beautiful, amazing siren that you always knew you were. You created a fantasy life for yourself and many will admire your accomplishments for years to come. Now you are faced with the task of redefining your idea of success. This is when many Alphanista’s who claimed they never wanted children, yearn to have some of their own. Yet, this is still another way of hiding behind another role. “I am someone’s Mom,” you may say. But that doesn’t really define you.

YOU define you. You are a culmination of your likes and dislikes, your fears and your hopes, your past and your expectations. That is quite enough, my darling. Get off of that rollercoaster ride to your superficial idea of success. If you have friends you can trust, a partner who makes you feel safe and supported and the ability to pamper yourself from time to time, you are rich indeed.

Now is the time to educate yourself. Seek the wisdom of the ancient traditions from faraway lands. Seek inner peace through learning to enjoy time alone. Practice being still. Be still. Watch as the world moves around you. Smile as the younger Alphanista’s grind and bop and dream their lofty dreams, remembering when you too were just as ambitious and hopeful. You understand where they are going and you know that eventually they will reach the place where you are today. Let them have the fantasy because looking back, wasn’t it such a sweet, sweet ascension filled with adventure and drama and honor? It was worth it. It is time for the next phase of your life. This phase begins with knowing that the honor you give yourself is the most valuable award you will ever receive.

Te-Erika Patterson frequently writes blog posts for Alphanista.  To learn more about her visit her at www.te-erika.blogspot.com.


Pssst…Join the Inner Circle for $1 ends in 3 days…

How To Train (Motivate) Your Man

(In response to “Kingmaking” article at Essence.com)

By Te-Erika Patterson

Regardless of his personality type, regardless of his race, regardless of his financial status there are really only TWO different types of men that exist; dominant and submissive.  If you want to pull your man towards his best life and push him to be on his best behavior at all times, all you have to do is recognize which type of man you have and then train him.

The Dominant Man

The dominant man is recognized by his confidence in his abilities and the way he makes decisions without needing a consensus. He trusts his own judgment and expects you to respect and trust him too. To motivate this man to be his best, take good care of you and his empire you need to:

  • Consistently adore him
  • Pamper him
  • Respect and support his decisions
  • Remind him that he is a King
  • Make his home his paradise
  • Stay sexy and eager to please
  • Feed him
  • Be his biggest cheerleader

The dominant man will appreciate a woman who is submissive and plays a role that completely caters to his needs and wants in life. He will probably have a big bark, yelling out orders and throwing his weight around but he does still love you. He exercises his authority aggressively both in the office and at home and it makes him feel like more of a man to have his lady looking sexy and consistently ready to please, without an attitude or objection.

The Submissive Man

The submissive man is recognized by his constant need for reassurance.  He needs your approval before he does anything and he adores affection and being petted. He doesn’t really know how to be dominant and he doesn’t want to be. He needs a woman to make him be a better man by:

  • Questioning his decision making
  • Making him earn home cooked meals
  • Rationing out sex as a reward for good behavior
  • Punishing him by making him sleep on the couch (or kicking him out the house)
  • Belittling him by reminding him that his life would be nothing without you
  • Never giving oral sex unless it is your anniversary or he does something outstanding
  • Consistently threatening to leave him if he does not meet your expectations
  • Constantly critiquing his efforts

The submissive man will appreciate a woman who treats him like a dog because this delights him. Somewhere along the line he was trained to believe that this behavior is indicative of a real woman. He loves a woman with an attitude and would reject any woman who adores him. He has no clue how to be a better man on his own so he needs your aggressive guidance and fully appreciates it.

Te-Erika Patterson frequently writes blog posts for Alphanista.  To learn more about her visit her at www.te-erika.blogspot.com.


Listen to Essence relationship columnist (“Kingmaking”, etc) and bestselling author Steven James Dixon take your questions in the Alphanista Inner Circle, exclusive for members-only.  Starts Jan 17th.