Tag: obama

Obama’s Message to White Fathers…

Okay, so we heard about his Father’s Day speech calling on black fathers that got many people’s feathers ruffled, including Jesse Jackson’s. But what about if he gave that speech to white fathers? What if instead of Black in America, we can have specials on White in America. I received an email this morning. Here’s an excerpt of the article w/some real statistics:

What if statistics showed that “white young people are over twice as likely than black young people to drive drunk, a third more likely to carry a weapon, three times more likely to binge drink, and twice to four times more likely (depending on the drug) to use cocaine, coke, inhalants, steroids, hallucinogens, and methamphetamines?” That’s precisely what the statistics say – which should be a signal for Barack Obama to begin paying visits to white churches to low-rate the fathers of the congregations. We can hear it now: “Clearly you, white parents, need to stop being shiftless and take care of your responsibilities. You are failing your children.” But don’t bet on it. Things like that only happen in works of satire…

You can read the rest here.

REWIND: The 10 Things That Obama Did Right

With today’s inauguration, it’s only right that we reflect on what President Obama did right. (Tangent: I’m mad at how they tripped him up during the oath though!)

There’s something we can learn from Barack, and it ain’t got nothing to do with running for the presidency.  He’s the “new” black.  The way he talks, moves, and positions himself is something he has used since his days at Harvard.  He has this “thing” about him that makes “others” feel comfortable.  He does this without seeming sambo-ish or like he’s surfing for white people’s acceptance.  He remains who he is.  This is something that many folks, especially black men, can learn from.  Black women, well, we have Michelle (link to my 10 Things We Can Learn From Michelle Obama post).  Here are the things Barack rocked:

1. He didn’t talk to Black People.  He turned down Tavis Smiley’s The State of the Black Union for the much safer, quieter, inclusive forum of the NAACP.  Though other reasons were stated for him skipping Tavis’ conference, talking to the NAACP is not the same as talking to a room of regular folks.  This was a smart move. He gave a general speech not necessarily about being Black, and skipped talking about black issues.  Slick willie.  He skipped Jena Six.  Too messy, too loud.  Skipped Sharpton. He keeps his slate clean and focused.

2. He’s not fat.  According to stats, the majority of Black Americans are overweight.  I cannot tell you how many overweight black men over 40 I see walking up and down the streets like it’s 1993 and Biggie was back.  It’s not cute anymore.  It’s unhealthy.  And no, you’re not built “like a football player”. Barack looks lean, fit, and of good genetic make up.

3. He isn’t easily offended like most black people, or so it seems.  There were several times Barack could have blasted the negative comments about him, took out op-eds in the blackest of black newspapers and radio commentary but he didn’t.  And he could have, and no white person would have done anything about it for fear of being called a “racist”.  Too many black people are crippled by what white people say and think about them.  They show it too much.  They flinch too fast.  Not Barack.

4. He’s a bargainer.  He’s a man who was the first black president of the Harvard Law Review.  This isn’t a man who is used to pissing people off.  He bargains for his position.  This is his stance:  Don’t fuck with me, and I won’t fuck with you.  And he means it, when others don’t.  Let’s just get along, to play along.”  He’s not stuck on what’s right or wrong for “black” Obama, he’s about winning.

5. He dated…Michelle.  He didn’t drag her along on some merciless 10 year relationship until he got his career together.  He saw her as part of the journey, not the destination.  Too bad, too many folks don’t know that it’s okay not to have it all at once.

6. He went to Hawaii and not Martha’s Vineyard for the summer.  We know Hawaii is where his fam is from.  The Vineyard is where about 75% of bourgeoisie black folk go for the summer.  He didn’t go.  Because if he did, he would have made the bourgeosie black folk who go even snobbier.  I could hear it at Nancy’s, “Girl, Barack was just here and he don’t look the same in person…”

7. He wrote a few books and didn’t name it anything “black.”  It wasn’t named The Audacity of a Brother.

8. He’s affectionate.  On stage you can see the intimacy Michelle and he have.  The way his hand rests on the arch of her lower back, or his arms around her shoulders, and the kisses on her cheek.  He’s not afraid to show it.  Makes us think he’s still putting it down in the bedroom.  Must be nice.  To run the country, you want a president who is taking his medicine.  There’s nothing scarier than an un-sexed man, they are capable of anything.

9. He has no children out of wedlock.  Thanks to Barack, the Black out of wedlock rate is only 68%, instead of 69%.

10. He’s never been shot.  At all.

Alpha Male: Cory Booker

corybookerIf we make it past 2012, he will be the next black president in the running according to political analysts.

Mayor of Newark, Yale graduate and Rhodes Scholar, Booker has been on the scene for a minute. He’s in his late thirties, handsome, tall, and gallant.  While he was running for mayor he lived in the projects of Newark, with an apartment number with a bell and everything, to get a sense of their issues.  He had a phone, too, with an answering machine.  How do I know? Well…

Many political folks are calling him the next contender.  Obama, his friend, is supposed to be testing the waters for him.  He’s been taking the heat for all the drama in Newark, but no one can deny that he’s helped that city rise from the dead.  He’s survived several assassination attempts by gang members according to news reports.  Question stands:  Why isn’t this man married yet?  I just don’t see America voting for a single president.  A single president has no focus.  A single president can blow up the world and have no thoughts of wife and children to consider.  A single president needs sex with different women.  Too much confusion.  And we know how those Dems like to “date down”.

If he can find a wife, maybe get her pregnant, then I’d say he’d be ready for a run. He has everything else in order.

I nominate him for Alphanista’s Alpha Male Hall of Fame.  What say ye? (This is a no brainer, ya’ll)

Weekend Rewind: A Good Man Marries By 35

Chose to "wait" to get married, now look at him

Happy 4th!  Enjoy this classic!


There used to be a time where there was just a bunch of single women over 35.  Now, it seems like more and more men are single over 35.  At first look it may not be such a bad thing, but at a closer look, it’s just bad.

I was talking to a distinguished gentlemen at a “obama” party recently who is 35 and married with 2 children and a successful lawyer with his own practice, and a very nice writer wife, who said, “a good man marries at 35, the rest you don’t want”.

It could just be a married man hating, but it rings true at times.  Most men say they are “waiting” for the right woman to come along, while they grow grey hairs, their belly gets larger, and their bad habits get more ingrained.  I didn’t know men were supposed to “wait” for anyone.  At 30, testosterone drops so the passivity may have something to do with it.

Obama married before 30, and they waited until their 30s to have kids.  They had a plan.  And you see, kids and family didn’t stop this man from the most ambitious career path on the planet.  So that knocks out the excuse that kids and family would slow a man down.  If anything marrying before 35 gave him perspective, focus, and passion.  He had kids and a wife.  How much more drive does one need?

Not surprisingly, alpha males usually have no problem with this because they need to control their environment, a very “alpha” reason.

Imagine if Obama was single at 35 with 3000 female Facebook friends living the life on the go, do you know that man, with those stories floating around out there with women, would not have a chance.  Let’s not mention the scorned girlfriend who’d post his texts on her Facebook page for a few stacks from the Enquirer.

Now, I’m also understanding why older women marry younger men.  There’s more focus, passion, and more testosterone.  If you’re an older gal, you can also get pregnant quicker by a younger man.  Has to do with sperm quality.  Look it up.

But compromise.  As we get older, it’s something, particularly men say they don’t want to do when they get married.  Sounds borderline sociopath to me because compromise is one of the ways folks get along in this world.  These types are usually never alone, but always lonely.   And the “i’m picky” type, really means I don’t trust myself.

So, if you see a single man over 35, definitely entertain–especially if he’s been married before or has a reasonable excuse for being unmarried at 40 plus.   But stay focused and listen to your gut.  He should be talking about marriage in general early in the dating phase, asking questions about yourself, future, and being two things–consistent and persistent.  The good thing about a man over 35 who is healthy, well rounded, and loves the idea of family and being with a woman, is that they’ll marry you quick….

No More Excuses, Black Women


It’s time for a new look.  Please, don’t get offended.  White women did this ages ago with Jackie O.  It’s tradition that the first lady look the part of an American woman, for she represents the American woman.  But with Michelle, you better believe, black women are going to be watching her very closely and they should.  Here’s a woman who doesn’t wear weaves, who works out, and though not a drop dead beauty, as a refined beauty that she has learned to work with and enhance.  Her look is clean, neat, and fresh.  It’s quiet, but ambitious.  Colors are soft, maybe a surprise of bold, like red or purple here and there.  What I enjoy most about Michelle’s look is its naturalness. It’s clean.  (Yes, I know I said that already.)  A look that needs very little, but says a whole lot. 

Unfortunately, when I see some black women it’s just overkill.  The straight hair weave down the back, the fake eyelashes, the nails, the tight fitted clothes, the harsh makeup and jewelry.  It’s just too much.  And granted, I’m not talking about “ghetto” women, I am talking about black corporate women who when they go out afterwork they just either do too much or not enough.  It doesn’t look effortless.  It doesn’t look clean.  Clean.  That’s Michelle.  Her nails are short, buffed and natural looking.  It’s not boring, it’s very feminine.  She has a soft, nurturing nature that makes you wanna sit down and drink tea together.  It doesn’t matter how she is behind doors, she looks friggin great.

With all that said, black women can take a hint.  Leave the weaves, alone, to start with.  Unless you are a cancer patient, you don’t need a weave or a wig.  Unless you are over 75 years old and your hair has fallen out, you don’t need extensions.  Unless you’re a star singer or actress, you don’t need it, period.  Just the thought of taking a needle to my head, is crazy, just to fit into a look that women think men want.  Pulease, men have no idea what they like in a woman until they see it.  We already do brazilian waxes, and that’s enough.  There’s beauty in all kinds of hair styles, even the thinnest or kinkiest of curls.  With all the hair products on the market, if you took the time, you can work with your hair.  Yes, relaxed hair is fine.  I am just speaking on added, new hair.  The only problem I have with Michelle is her eyebrows.  But hey, we can’t all be perfect.

Michelle is also the perfect indication that no, not all black women are prone to be fat or have to be after their first child.  If black men can learn something from Obama’s win, black women can start jotting a few things down, too.  No more excuses.  Anymore.

Michelle Obama: She’s No “Strong Black Woman”

Take your time, Michelle. Take your time!
Take your time, Michelle. Take your time!

I had to bring this article back up considering there’s exactly 1 more week till Inauguration Day. Once that’s over, we’re going to be in for even more interesting times.  Enjoy!

This article in Salon is the type of stuff that keeps women mired in confusion.  It says Michelle Obama was this big career driven women who now has to play mommy to little girls as First Lady, as if it’s the most despised, degenerate job on the planet.  Here’s some:

At the point that her husband decided to run for president, Michelle was not working just to make ends meet; she had a career to which she was committed….How will Michelle Obama feel as she becomes what she has long resisted — an extension of her husband?

Can Michelle get a break?  Can women get a break, period?  For Michelle to be working on her “career” plan while her husband is President is ridiculous.  It’s also naive to assume because she’s staying “at home” that she is going to be just an extension of her husband.  If so, then what’s wrong with that?  Perhaps, American women can learn how to better balance their lives at home and at work and keep better-fed, nurtured husbands and marriages.  Michelle willfully chose her role.

The Associated Press said that “she is not interested in shaping policy or reserving a seat for herself at her husband’s decision-making table. She prefers, at least for now, to focus on easing the transition for Malia, 10, and Sasha, 7….” Maybe, Michelle’s willingness to be her husband’s helpmate will inspire other women with families to adjust their self-centered goals for the greater good, including their own peace of mind. Here’s something else:

But the day that Hillary Clinton dropped out of the race, the bar for conversation about Michelle dropped precipitously. Suddenly Fox News was calling her “Obama’s baby mama,” and Michelle was on “The View,” jawing about her bargain dress and pantyhose, breakfast foods and childcare…..Obama presented herself precisely as she needed to in order to be digested by the American people: as a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother. And definitely not as a successful and independent American working woman.

Being this “independent American working woman” is a lie and a myth.  It leaves many women alone, childless and not by choice, overworked, bitter, and resentful that they have missed their chance to be married or have children.  If they’re married, they’ve been lied to that they can have it all and do both.  Very few women accomplish this.  It’s not the norm as the media depicts.  This American myth is what has caused the highest divorce numbers in history.  Women from all over the world and various cultures know it’s a myth and laugh at us, while they themselves work to live, instead of live to work.  While they enjoy their families, their status as intellectuals and mothers, and the respect from their communities.  I’ve traveled through Europe and parts of the Caribbean, and can say women in other countries seem far more happier than American women.

It’s articles like these that keep “independent American working women” confused under a smoky hazy of doing what’s right.  They end up like hamsters in a cage running, running, for no one at the end of the day, not even themselves.  Just running to fit this myth.  I think it would be nice to see a more nurturing, feminine image of the Black woman, instead of the superwoman-workhorse aka “strong black woman” that has been fed to us for generations.  So, Michelle, hon, go be mommy to your daughters and bake all the damn Pillsbury cookies you want.

Let them eat their hearts out.

Bush White House "Missing" Emails? Just In Case Obama Wins…

Which to many is a long shot, considering that the majority of the American population are OLD like John McCain. They usually vote for folks who look like them not remind them of their kids.

Anyway, this is rather odd. It looks like Bush’s folks can’t find hundreds of emails. They are contracting some internet guys to help them retrieve it. But why now? Are they hiding something? No, not them 😉

Michelle Obama: The Baby Mama of the New Millenium

She is the mama of a child(ren). What is wrong with that? Several years ago, she referred to Barack Obama at the 2004 Democratic National Convention where he gave the keynote speech, and as her “baby daddy”. No one said a word then. The Obamas were both quite mum on this “baby mama” issue when it came out weeks ago for obvious reasons. It’s just not a big deal. It’s a term of endearment that many black couples, married or not, say to each other. Perhaps, it was a big deal since it was FOX NEWS or when the NY Times wrote an actual story breaking down what the word means. That was such a 1993 move. The words “baby daddy” and “baby mama” are all over the celebrity magazines—OK!, Life & Style, In Touch, US, and more. It’s cute, it’s fun, it’s what’s happening. Thank you to Obama and ‘em for not turning this into a march of some kind. Oh, my bad, that’s Jesse and ‘em.

Black President Means More Sex?

womansexAn associate told me last week he is happy that Obama is president because now he can have more leverage over women and get more sex.  How many men are thinking like this?  Definitely, not an alpha male because alpha males always have first dibs for sex with women.

I told him, if anything this should make women more picky, more choosy about who they lay down with and bring into their life.  It should!  Anything’s possible now…

Can you have your own Obama?  You have to define what it means to you–do you want a man who is ambitious and well coifed or will your “obama” just be kind, loving and ordinary or does it represent a life shift, an event or even spiritual awakening? It can also be a man that can completely take you and your family to the outer limits, another level, another lifestyle that few if any women will ever experience.

Who Is This Black Privileged Class…

Evin Cosby (left side)

Last year, some folks may have read what PB & Caviar boutique owner Evin Cosby (the woman on the left in the photo) said about relating to Obama because of her privileged background and not speaking “hip hop”.

I mean, I understand. But do privileged people, talk about how privileged they are and can’t relate? I never heard the Rockefellers or Trumps say this. It is quite annoying when some Black folk are just not satisfied with being Black and privileged. They have to be Black and privileged and can’t relate. It just comes off as unprivileged.

Here’s the quote from The NY Daily News:

“Everyone has their way of speaking and living their life. No one should be judging and assuming that because I’m black, I have to speak in that hip-hop way. That’s something I prefer not to do….I also went to private schools – Bank Street elementary, so I was surrounded by people like me. Not so much African-American, but privileged. I don’t really have a connection to other people who didn’t have my lifestyle. But my dad is very into helping people from his own community in Philadelphia.”

And I guess she may not be.  But does membership have its privileges?  By the way, last I read Barack came from a poor background with a single mom.  Oh well.  Why can’t we all  just get along?