Tag: alpha female

WEEKEND REWIND: How To Tame An “Alphanista”

By Guest Blogger Te-Erika Patterson

If you’re up for a challenge, your relationship with an Alphanista will be the most frustrating, yet exhilarating ride that you’ve ever experienced- that is, if you know how to navigate the rocky terrain.

Sometimes I meet men who have so much potential but they just don’t get it. With a free spirit like me, you have to operate differently. The same rules that you’ll use with the average woman who uses her skills in the kitchen or the bedroom to snag her man won’t work with me.

Although there will never be a definitive guide to taming an Alphanista, (because she can not be tamed) following these suggestions will get you closer to your goal- the rest is up to God.

Be Consistent
You have to be consistent, mainly because I’m not. My preferences or taste buds can shift whenever the wind blows and I am energized by the complete freedom to change my mind on a whim. It’s challenging enough to wake up and decide what I want out of life “today” so I need a man who means what he says and does what he promises to do, day in and day out. Since most people alter their opinions to match mine, a man who is consistent with his preferences, expectations and actions provides the kind of structure that translates erotically.

Say Yes
You don’t say “no” when I see something pretty because you don’t have to. Your finances are not shaken by the state of the economy because your resources are long and strong. Even if you do lose out on a business venture, you have 5 more right behind it that are flourishing. You believe I deserve the best that life has to offer and you know it’s your responsibility to give it to me. I’m your fantasy woman and you’re not about to spoil your dream come true by not being able to give me my heart’s desires.  There’s nothing that delights you more than watching my eyes twinkle as I give you a kiss after trying on one of your sparkly gifts or receiving a phone call from a business connection that you supplied. Thank you!

Correct Me
Yes, I do run shit in most situations and it is completely within my reach to do so elegantly but spending so much time teaching and molding others can take a toll on the psyche of an Alphanista. Don’t abuse this gift but I want to give you the secret; I like
being taught and corrected by my man. If you can teach me something that will add to the success of my business endeavors I will definitely keep you around longer. And…every once in while, I need to be reminded that I am a mere mortal. An intentional, open handed smack to my rump will revitalize me and I will thank you for it.

Feed Me
I like to eat. You bring the food. That’s your job every single day. Show up to my place empty handed and that proves you don’t give a damn about me or my well-being. Goodbye.

Let It Slide
Sometimes the line between work and play can be blurred, at least in my mind. I have to be the hard ass to get things done and sometimes I carry that attitude home with me. I apologize in advance but you will just have to learn to deal with it. Don’t fight me on it. Let me rant and rave and try to strong arm you into doing the dishes. Instead of overanalyzing my requests- Do the dishes. It doesn’t take away from your role as my man. When I come down off of my power trip, I’ll realize what I’ve done and you’ll benefit from an apology you’ll never forget.

Let Me Love You
Yes, I have a whole list of people whose main desire is to please me but I have a sweet side too. I want to spoil you and pamper you and be your trophy too. I want you to brag to your friends about how well I take care of you and how much I add to your success. Don’t fight me when I want to do something nice for you. You deserve it just as much as I do. Let me take you on a trip and buy you something nice. Let me sweep you off your feet. Allow me to use my powers for good in appreciation for the wonderful man that you are. Let me love you in all of the extravagant, calculated ways that I know how because…I want to. Isn’t it your job to give me what I want? Uh huh…That’s right.

Read more about this writer at www.te-erika.blogspot.com.

Tip 23: How To Be An Alphanista

“Love sees sharply, hatred sees even more sharp, but Jealousy sees the sharpest for it is love and hate at the same time”–Arab Proverb

If you’re the alpha at work or school who most women love to hate, then this one is for you.

Here is a typical scenario for an alpha female: she is the one on the “outside” of a group.

What happens is that the alpha female may be “new” to the area or job.  Where most women would make themselves a part of the group and feel “bad” if they are not accepted, alpha females have another  strategy.  Being the target of jealousy or curiosity is not new to alphas, and she is normally very comfortable alone, and that makes others VERY uncomfortable.   She is neither out or in a group, she is always where she wants to be.  And she rather be alone than be unwelcomed or unappreciated.

The trick here is to never ask to be part of the group.  Do not bend to the group or accept invitations for lunch or dinner.  These invites are usually prime time for those to peck on you like ravenous pigeons on toast.  They are curious about you, who you are, and why you are so self contained.  They’ll label you and call you “crazy” or “anti-social” to hide jealousy or frustration about you.  A true alpha won’t flinch, hey, it’s nothing new to her.

Now, here is your option if you want to be entertained by others instead of yourself: create a group. You set yourself up from the start as the person to get to know.  People will come and go from the group, but you stay, molding and shaping the group to suit you.  The group must always grow or they have no value for it and will leave.  This is your platform to be who you are without reservation.  Should you need to retreat from the group or be alone entirely (I think the alpha may spend too much time alone, but that’s another blog) be prepared to attract another loner, preferably a beta, where both of your energies can balance the other.   Want to rustle the feathers of the group of women who are mystified by your aloofness?   Try this.

Too many women are interested in pleasing other women.  Like the saying goes, “if you can’t accept yourself, then certainly no one else will”.


Have You Joined The Inner Circle Yet?  Starts NOW, few spots left, doors closing soon.  GET ME IN NOW!

How To Be An Alpha Female: The Romantic Dinner

You didn’t think we’d end with pre-dinner cocktails?

It’s time for dinner.  But not just any, but a “romantic” dinner.  You’ve had the power breakfast, luxuriated at the spa, had something to sip on, now it’s time to get to the fun part.  Ideally, it would start around 9pm, when the “other” guests have left to get ready for their bedtime.  The restaurant doesn’t close until 2am anyway.  It’s a hot spot.  Somewhere in NYC’s Meatpacking District and has received rave reviews from insiders.  It’s not even “listed” but you are on the list.  Now, this romantic dinner doesn’t have to be romantic with a man.  You can have a romantic dinner alone, or with another woman.  You can invite an acquaintance who knows how to unwind and relax, and talk about dreams, wishlists, and aspirations. It’s all a dream anyway.  Isn’t life?  You don’t want to eat with anyone who’s a drag especially this time of night.

The “romance” is in the ambiance, the delicate, soft lights that dance around the room and the faces that it touches.  It’s in the quiet hum of the place, and the clink of glasses, and the shimmer of champagne.  It’s The Ritz in Paris at midnight, lit like a jewel.

This is your “romantic” dinner.  It’s not just about the food, but what happens over the meal.  Enjoy.

Your car is waiting outside.



DOWNLOAD: How To Do Anything Like An Alphanista!

Every girl should leave a mark in an original and memorable way upon the world.

Below is an excerpt of Alphanista’s newest ebook,  How To Do Almost Anything Like An Alphanista!

Some of the unique advice may be controversial, but hey, what would the world be without that?   It details step-by-step how to get 10 things done from making money fast to how to travel with champagne taste like an alpha female!  See the topics here.   You won’t find the details on this blog.

Below is an excerpt…
How To Bond With A Man (p. 14/30)

Why would a woman want to bond with a man? To get him to commit sooner, of course. Once a man is bonded with you it is hard for him to leave. Actually, he will not want to because he’ll be programmed to believe you are soulmates. Once he believes that, he will treat you better and begin discussing your future together.

Bond with him by doing any of the following:

1) Repeat back what he tells you. Does he have a favorite phrase or saying? Say it! He’ll start to see you and him as one.

2) Let him dress you. Tell him you want to know what to wear. Make him pick out an outfit he likes.

3) Make him dependent on you. Take over a busy part of his life for him. Whether it’s driving, cooking, or managing his social calendar. Take over!

For the other 7 tips, you need the ebook! Click here to download instantly.

Want to join the Alphanista Inner Circle in January?

Get more info here!

How To Be An Alpha Female: The Rise

Then one morning you wake up.  You decide that there is more to life than what appears.

That, like an alpha female, you are completely control of your destiny.  If you can’t see it, then you might as well create it.  You create your own possibilities via networks and powerful connections.  Oh, no.  You didn’t have these to start with.  But you find them via mentors, private clubs, or serendipity.  It does happen.  Did you know there are people who will mentor you for free?  Wealthy people.  Of course you do.  Now, you are doing something about it.  You are learning the ropes of what it means to be truly wealthy in America.  Wealth in money, but access, too.  It is not a far off dream, an after retirement goal or a second life promise.  You want it now.  You don’t want to sell your soul.  But an alpha female takes risks.

You call people you never thought you would.  You leave random messages on CEO voicemail boxes at night with your ideas and requests for a meeting.  Nobody does that.  Understand that if you do, they will take it seriously.  Expect the call back.  It is a ridiculously wild feeling that makes you feel alive and unstoppable.  You go to lunches and meetings where you are the only stranger.  You walk in buildings like you collect the rent.  People notice you.  They ask questions.  You take the next steps.  You make and break alliances.  You take down the old and build the new.

You may find that in this process you become another self.  A self that is more self assured, less caring, and more daring.  Instead of protecting others, you learn to protect yourself.  You may also find that you have a new “thing” about you.  No longer are others able to approach you in any old way or tell you any old bull.  You will radiate a shield of protection that is a reflection of your inner growth.

It sounds like a lot.  But it is really not that hard.  The only person that can get in the way is you.  You are fighting for your life. Excuse me, the life.

Read more in this series


How To Be An Alpha Female: The Power Breakfast

Have you taken a look at your life , lately?

Look now.  There’s something missing.  You have the same degree, personal qualities, professional experience as the next girl but you are the one earning less money, going home alone, and haven’t had a breakthrough in your career or personal life in years.  There’s a reason why this has happened.  Why “that” girl who is so much like you in appearance, but is really not.

Let’s name her Eve.  Though it may seem like you two are the same, Eve has a different routine.  Nothing outlandish, but there is one thing she does a few times a month.  On a typical business morning when you are on the train, sweating and squashed like a sardine, or in traffic waiting for others to move, or hitting the snooze on the alarm, Eve is having a power breakfast at a posh hotel with movers and shakers in your city.  Eve didn’t know these people, but she created them.  She created her own Inner Circle of like minds who she meets with and exchanges ideas, information, and resources to rule the world, or at least, her corner of it.  This is how Eve starts her day.

The power breakfast started back in the 1970s with businessmen who wanted to squeeze in a meeting before the start of the business day.  Every major city has a spot.  When you walk into it, you’ll see power breakfasts sprinkled all over, usually between 7-9am.   Chicago’s Four Seasons is a go-to place, and so is New York’s Le Parker Meridien and their $1000 frittatas (if it’s still on the menu).  But you don’t have to spend big bucks to eat with power brokers.  You can get your circle together at a nearby diner in any business district.  Reach out to someone successful you’ve met and invite them to breakfast.

Next time, you see Eve instead of wondering what she has that you don’t, introduce yourself.  You may get a seat at the table.

Read more in this series

Craft Crack: Stylish Bin


So, for the last year or so I have been wanting to craft.

Or do some crafting?  However you say it!  I just don’t know what to choose.  I just feel like my hands are craving to work.  I started with knitting, and didn’t quite keep up the practice and stopped.  It was getting too frustrating keeping my panel straight.  My knitting jobs would always look like an “S”.  Then I started scrapbooking.  I really enjoyed that and found it calming and therapeutic.  But I stopped that too.  There just wasn’t enough pictures to keep me busy enough.  I figured I’d just wait for the right thing.

I haven’t chosen any specific project yet.  I’m still experimenting with ideas and learning.  What I think is most impressive about anyone is a talent.  I already know I have one.  What are you really good at?  What have you done that 95% of percent of people can’t do or haven’t accomplished.  As an Alphanista, it is your dutyt to be talented in something. Think about it. You may be surprised.  On the other hand, if you don’t have any talents, learn something new now.

I love the look of the project below.  The older I get, the more I enjoy the vintage, craftsman style looks of homes, furniture and little trinkets.  I’ve always loved books in the house and their smell.  Get some old books and try this at home.

This is actually on sale at Etsy for $100!


Perfect for storage!



  • Glue
  • Bin or old wooden box
  • Book spines


1) Find some old books with the spines falling off around the house or at the flea market

2) Tear off the spines and glue them to the back of a bin

3) Done!



Read more in this series

Tips To “Nurture” Your Feminine Side

It’s a shame.

There are more women out there cloaked as men than there should be. It has happened to most of us. You are either so used to being single or at your hi powered job, that you forget to be “a girl”. For example, if you have been single for some time and date, you may tend to want to control everything–the time he picks you up, where you go to eat, what he wears, what he says, how he thinks, and what you say. Even if you are just “testing” the waters, it is still too much masculine energy that you are projecting. Men may respond by being defensive or just turned off. Another example: If you are in a relationship and get riled up and want to argue over things that don’t go your way means that you want to fix and solve problems. Actually, you want to fix it before it becomes a problem! All of that is masculine energy in the wrong hands.

Masculine and feminine energy when they work together in one person help to balance your temperament, too much of the other equals drama. Pretty hair and nails is not enough to be a feminine, there’s more. The tips below will help you fall back into your lane, and use the power you already have. They also make you feel good. Now go do something!

1) Take more time every day to share in non-goal oriented ways about the problems of the day, like having lunch with or talking to someone who does not have the answer to your problems.

2) Get a massage or some kind of nurturing body work to bring a non sexual awareness to your body.

3) Never miss an chance to let a man carry a box or open a door for you.

4) Make regular time for meditation, prayer, exercise, journal writing, etc.

5) Vary your routes from work or school to avoid the efficiency of getting home the same way (this also helps with control issues!)