By Guest Blogger Toi
Personal relationships are wonderful, fulfilling, and valuable. They are essential to your well being as a person. But as an Alphanista, you should not rely on others for every. little. thing.
If you want to create new experiences for yourself, do NOT wait on other people to go with you to do so. It’s fine to go it alone. As a matter of fact, you should create new experiences for yourself, by yourself.
It’s unreasonable to expect others to be with you in every single thing you do. There are some women who can’t even go to the restroom on their own. Do they need someone to chat with while they pee? That’s a small scale example but it shows the reluctance some women have about striking out on their own to do the simplest of things. I know people who feel like they need to have someone with them every time they shop, eat, or attend events. These are things an Alphanista needs to be able to do on her own. Waiting on others to get themselves together tends to slow the Alphanista down. If you aren’t ready to go with her, she will go on without you. An Alphanista doesn’t wait on other people to get themselves together when she’s ready to go. Get right or get left.
This goes for family, friends, romantic partners. Your boyfriend may hate shopping. He goes in, purchases his items, and is out of the mall in 15 minutes, tops. So why drag him on your Saturday afternoon shopping excursions when you are a hunter-shopper who likes to browse stores for hours? Go it alone, and take as much time as you need without feeling rushed and annoying your partner. Or, you love underground alternative soul music. Your buddies only listen to mainstream popular music. Leave them at home and go to the show. If they aren’t into it, it would be a waste of time and money for them to attend. Treat yourself to the show and enjoy yourself, uninhibited.
When you strike out on your own to create new experiences, the universe tends to take care of you. You are forced to rely on your own instincts and make decisions for yourself, making you more well-rounded and sure of yourself. You begin to see that can you can take care of yourself.
I’m not minimizing the importance of social interaction. Spending time and energy with others is fantastic, wonderful, and necessary. But so is grabbing the reigns of your life and spending time and energy creating new experiences with yourself. This is how you develop a strong sense of self, it’s a part of self-love. After all, you spend the most time with yourself.
Toi Duckworth is a sophisticated b-girl from Los Angeles who dishes on urban lifestyle topics via her blog, http://hiphopmuse.com.