“Real Women Of Leisure” is a series that looks at successful women and their secrets to having it all. These women have made their own success or are married to it, and share with you how you can get a bit of the good life, and some dating advice. This week we look at Life Coach/Motivational Speaker, And Oprah “Australia” guest, Sheree Franklin.
1. How did you select your husband? Did you rely on instinct on which man to pick or did you observe his behaviors for a while to see if he could be the provider you wanted?
I am a firm believer in taking things slow. This wasn’t an easy lesson for me to embrace. We met when I was 34 years old. We worked on being friends for a long time before the relationship got serious. The thing that made him stand out in my eyes wasn’t that he was a good provider…rather that he was dependable. If he said he was going to do something it got done. We dated for 5 years before marrying. It is not unusual for very successful men to be very cautious. These days everyone should be. A man of means might decide to do a background check on the person he is dating. If there is anything in your background discuss it upfront rather than have it come out in an investigation.
2. What projects, if any, are you working on now or wish to pursue?
The projects I am working on include growing my business as an Intuitive Coach and Counselor and traveling with my husband. Currently, I am actively involved in expanding my workshop/speaking business.
3. What typical spots can women go to meet a ‘generous male’. Do some of them prefer match making agencies?
I met my husband at the Rotary Club. There are other options available besides internet dating. The key is to know your own areas of interest and attend upscale events that reflect this area. Sometimes these groups cater exclusively to couples so do your homework ahead of time to find out if it is a good fit for you. Be authentic. You need to be in an area that reflects your area of passion or interest. Take the time to do research on various groups/organizations and associations that would allow you to have exposure to people of similar interest.
4. Marrying is great. However, what if that isn’t the end goal? What do you think about dating these men just for fun and finances?
Everyone has their own preferences. After dating for 5 years I wanted to plan our future together. The key is to be honest about what you want out of a relationship. The most important thing you can do is to ask questions and then listen carefully. Most people will tell you exactly what they want if you choose to listen. Dating for fun and finances is fine…it’s really your own personal preference. Just remember, that time is your most valuable commodity. If you date someone because of their financial circumstances you might end up with nothing. Determine your own earning goals exclusive of the relationship.
Everyone needs to have their own vision for their life. One thing that I feel is important is that you constantly develop your own skills and abilities even if you are dating or married to a man of substance. I never stop taking classes or reading. If anything changes (and there are no guarantees in life) you want to be able to fend for yourself.
5. Should husband and wife both agree on which funds the wife have access to? Money a wife does not need to ask her husband’s permission for? How can a woman negotiate that?
Let’s face it if you are dating a man of means, he is normally going to be cautious about his finances. Don’t come in expecting all your bills to be paid. Normally, a man of substance will provide a household budget. This will cover everything from your living expenses, health club membership, clothing allowance and even travel costs if you are expected to travel independently to meet him somewhere. The household budget will normally include funding for anything the wife needs within reason. Don’t expect to have weekly spa treatments. Be reasonable. If you come in asking for the stars and moons sometimes you end up with nothing.
Rather, offer a compromise such as…rather than a weekly spa treatment you would be willing to have your body work done on a monthly basis. People love to buy but they don’t like to be sold. Don’t push too hard. Ask for their opinion. Watch how your mate handles their own personal needs. If they are not open to doing certain things for themselves they will be less than inclined to do similar things for you.
Negotiation for a household budget starts when two people are truly comfortable with each other. Before the official budget discussion, there will be certain costs that a man of substance will want to pick up for you. This includes clothing that does not fit your usual lifestyle. (i.e. formal or dress attire). In addition, if attending events are a part of your social experience, consider taking care of your personal hygiene costs (such as hair or nails) if he is paying the clothing costs. Men at this level are looking very closely to see if they are being viewed as a “sugar daddy.”
Actively talking about what you will cover will go a long way to make you stand out. If you really can’t afford it then talk about this from the beginning. A man who is generous in financial matters also usually is generous in other areas! Stingy men generally don’t change.
I watched a younger woman who was dating a man of wealth and he wanted to give her a trip for her birthday. This single divorced woman really needed tires for her car. When she explained the dilemma to me, it was crystal clear what she needed to do…she needed to tell him about her automobile being in dire straits. I would rather have my basic needs taken care of any day rather than to have a dress or bauble that I may or may not need!
Many men are difficult when it comes to being guided on what to do…a wise woman told me that she makes her man think her ideas are really his ideas. I don’t operate like that but some people do. You have to try a variety of methods to see what works.
6. What are great businesses to start or be employed in to meet a financially stable man or attract your own financial success?
I don’t have a set business idea to suggest to anyone that they enter into. Let’s focus on attracting your own financial success. One of my favorite books is by Eric Butterworth, entitled, Spiritual Economics.” In addition, I am currently reading Super Rich by Russell Simmons. For me, attracting wealth is a basic component of my personality. I allow myself to think and focus on prosperous thoughts everyday. In addition, I surround myself with a support system that reflects a prosperous consciousness. If everyone you know is screaming about being “broke,” that’s the only thing that you know and this is what you will attract.
7. Any thing else you’d like to add?
Teach People To Trust Their Gut
To Make Better Decisions