“Real Women Of Leisure” is a series that looks at successful women and their secrets to having it all. These women have made their own success or are married to it, and share with you how you can get a bit of the good life, and some dating advice. This week we look at author extraordinaire Abbe Diaz.
1. How did you select your husband? Did you rely on instinct on which man to pick or did you observe his behaviors for a while to see if he could be the provider you wanted?
I would say definitely instinct. It was actually his smile I noticed first, I remember it like it was yesterday. I’m not sure if it was his demeanor or his manner of speaking (he approached me) or what, but I’ve joked with him that I knew he was “in trouble” within five minutes of meeting him.
Personally I think trying to observe a man to see if he can be a “good provider” is a waste of time, unless you’re willing to devote a very looong time (maybe years) to the process. Just because a man is wealthy is no indication he will provide for you well (depending, I guess, on what your definition of “well” is). A man is just as likely to be extremely selfish whether he has money or not.
2. What projects, if any, are you working on now or wish to pursue?
My second book is in the works (and behind schedule) and will likely be released in the Spring of 2012; its title is PX Me – The Sequel to PX This [How I Became a Published Author, Got Micro-Famous, and Married a Millionaire]
I also have two blogs I started (pxthis.com and abbediaz.com), mainly for the marketing of my books, which have taken something akin to lives of their own. They require more time than I’d originally anticipated and have a fan base almost completely independent of my books. After my second book is finally released, I think I might like to address the possibility of maintaining those blogs on a more entrepreneurial and commercial level.
TV and/or Web TV for my first book, PX This, is also an endeavor, albeit currently an apprehensive one. The recent global financial meltdown struck a huge blow to that project, and everybody involved has agreed to carefully reconsider our objectives and strategies.
I’ve also received two offers to star in “reality shows” but have yet to determine whether the benefits of such a thing outweigh the detriments. It’s been my experience that wielding the greatest amount of control possible is the most suitable position for me. So I have yet to decipher how retaining control can meld with the paradigms of television.
3. What typical spots can women go to meet a ‘generous male’. Do some of them prefer match making agencies?
Although I’ve never actually tried it, I would think match-making services (particularly online versions) would be a very efficient and effectual way to meet a compatible and/or congenial partner. If it were a resource I needed, I certainly wouldn’t hesitate to use it.
As I already mentioned, the possession of money is certainly no indication of generosity at all, so I think it stands to reason a service that provides candidness and lessens ambiguity would be a great way to facilitate a mutually beneficial relationship.
Of course, there are some obvious places wealthy men frequent: fine restaurants, golf courses / driving ranges, fancy health clubs, first class airport lounges, custom menswear shops, etc. However, if it’s a GENEROUS man that’s sought, where one of those might go is far more difficult to establish. Soup kitchens? Charity balls? Lobbyist conventions?
You see, it’s pretty ridiculous.
4. Marrying is great. However, what if that isn’t the end goal? What do you think about dating these men just for fun and finances?
Women (or men, whatever) should do what they want with their lives. Who cares what other people think?
5. Should husband and wife both agree on which funds the wife have access to? Money a wife does not need to ask her husband’s permission for? How can a woman negotiate that?
By asking? If a man prefers his wife not work, then obviously she is need of some kind of income, and naturally a steady and unrestricted one is a lot more preferable. The greater a woman’s options, the better are her prospects for “negotiation.” Therefore, a woman who is perfectly capable of independence is often the woman that nets the greatest remuneration from her husband if she gives up some of that independence to please him.
If a woman feels she has no other options, then she has very little to “bargain” with. In which case, quite frankly, she should simply be grateful for whatever she gets.
That’s why options (like education, knowledge, experience, strength, resilience, and personal savings, for example) are so extremely important.
6. What are great business to start or be employed in to meet a financially stable man or attract your own financial success?
Anything that makes you happy. Most businesses have some form of financially stable man at hand. Otherwise, the “business” part would be completely pointless. Of course, any business that deals with money tends to have more money (Wall St, banking, corporate law, etc), but again, just because the money’s there doesn’t mean it’s accessible.
I know it sounds like a cliche, but a person is most likely to find their own financial success at something they enjoy. And honestly, when a woman is happy and feels accomplished at whatever she does, she becomes infinitely more attractive.
7. Any thing else you’d like to add?
Sure. “Love is all you need.” <– That’s just a load of crap.