POLL: When Was The Last Time You Were In A Relationship?

happywoman

These days women AND men are single longer making them more susceptible to disease and heartbreak, but also to growth and opportunity.

If you are single beyond your preferred time, that is totally up to you.

Do not blame “the numbers”, “the man” or “the times”.

Anybody can get anyone when they are really ready and committed. So, how long have you been single?

Have Long Have You Been Single?

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7 comments

  1. Brian says:

    @missingpieces – You are in an enviable position. You are clear with how you want to approach life proclaming that you want to enjoy all the trappings of life (travel, shopping, etc) and you want to do these things alone. Nothing wrong with that at all. I would say that men persue you because you are attractive and/or you have an aura about you that they sense and want to be a part of.

    I would correct you on just one thing. Men stay interested beyond the chase- if you keep yourself interesting. What tends to happen is we men find and break these fine white stallions in the wild and then suddenly they get all uber-domesticated. Talking not of the great travels they want to go on, but shifting to discussions of drapes and china patterns.

    If you want to keep your man interested – stop changing so drastically. Keep up some seemblance of what we fell in love with. Be that your intellect or your “flexibility” 😉

  2. Missingpieces says:

    Marryann and Jubilance, I agree with 100% of what you both have said. From a personal perspective, I think I choose men who were toxic for me because subconsciously I was not ready for commitment, afraid of intimacy yet tried to force myself into relationships that did nothing but cause me pain because I bought into society’s view that a woman should always be/or want to be with a man.

    Even though I have grown from these experiences, I know that I attracted these men because of where I was mentally. Now I understand that I don’t want to be with someone when I’m not where I want to be, whether it’s emotionally, financially or professionally; it doesn’t matter – I’m not ready for the long haul…yet. However, I will not play victim and pretend that everything was the man’s fault… that’s so high school.

    The fact is that if the Mr. Right was kneeling in front of me with a 5 carat engagement ring while professing his love, I would run fast as hell! Just not ready to share my life with someone, I’m not even sure I want to get married. But I know that marriage is a business, the piece of paper itself is a contract that 50% of the American population break everyday whether it’s through infidelity or “irreconcilable differences.” I don’t know, I’m not saying that marriage or commitment is bad, but it’s not always good either. Just like being a single woman is not the kiss of death to me, because I want to be single.

    Maybe I sound a little confused, well, that’s because I am. LOL! But one thing I am sure is that romantic relationships have not worked out for me; I feel I have settled for men who didn’t share the same values, ambitions and didn’t know the concept of mutual respect. I’m not going through that again.

    Something inside of me says ” live your life and run with the wolves.” Meaning, strive for my hearts desire- that includes traveling the world alone, working on my artistic/creative ambitions, owning a home in LA, an apt. in NY and still being able to afford some Christian Loubs now and again. This is what I am sure of but this love shit- uh, uh, I don’t believe in the fairy tale anymore; so why would I hold out for prince charming!

    Needless to say, I have made the decision to put aspirations of romantic love/ intimacy/relationships on the back burner FOR A MINUTE! Yet, men are coming out of the woodwork left/right trying to “make the connection,” why is this? Why do they persists even when I politely shut them down? I am trying not to sound bitter hear, lol, but men seem like they want what they can’t have, that they are all about the chase/pursuit and if you give in they are no longer interested. What’s a girl to do?

  3. Jubilance says:

    Maryann, you are so right! As my yoga practice leader says, everything in life comes down to 1 choice. Either you do or you do not do. We choose the things that occur in our lives on some level.

  4. Maryann says:

    Hi BB, I definitely mean that if one decides that it’s time to have a relationship then there is nothing that can stop that person. Whatever standards that one has, they should use it as a guidepost to meet a partner. There are no excuses. The only person getting in the way of many women getting back into relationships is themselves. Either they want to, don’t want to, undecided, etc. I am really not addressing those women happy being single. Only those who feel they have no control over their circumstances. Everything begins with a decision.

  5. BB says:

    Wow, what do you mean by “Anybody can get anyone when they are really ready and committed?” How so? Not just anybody can get me although I’ve been ready and committed to having a relationship and visa versa. Don’t we all have our standards? Do you believe that no one can be out of someone’s league? I am just curious about this… What do you think?

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