Michelle Obama: She’s No “Strong Black Woman”

Take your time, Michelle. Take your time!
Take your time, Michelle. Take your time!

I had to bring this article back up considering there’s exactly 1 more week till Inauguration Day. Once that’s over, we’re going to be in for even more interesting times.  Enjoy!

This article in Salon is the type of stuff that keeps women mired in confusion.  It says Michelle Obama was this big career driven women who now has to play mommy to little girls as First Lady, as if it’s the most despised, degenerate job on the planet.  Here’s some:

At the point that her husband decided to run for president, Michelle was not working just to make ends meet; she had a career to which she was committed….How will Michelle Obama feel as she becomes what she has long resisted — an extension of her husband?

Can Michelle get a break?  Can women get a break, period?  For Michelle to be working on her “career” plan while her husband is President is ridiculous.  It’s also naive to assume because she’s staying “at home” that she is going to be just an extension of her husband.  If so, then what’s wrong with that?  Perhaps, American women can learn how to better balance their lives at home and at work and keep better-fed, nurtured husbands and marriages.  Michelle willfully chose her role.

The Associated Press said that “she is not interested in shaping policy or reserving a seat for herself at her husband’s decision-making table. She prefers, at least for now, to focus on easing the transition for Malia, 10, and Sasha, 7….” Maybe, Michelle’s willingness to be her husband’s helpmate will inspire other women with families to adjust their self-centered goals for the greater good, including their own peace of mind. Here’s something else:

But the day that Hillary Clinton dropped out of the race, the bar for conversation about Michelle dropped precipitously. Suddenly Fox News was calling her “Obama’s baby mama,” and Michelle was on “The View,” jawing about her bargain dress and pantyhose, breakfast foods and childcare…..Obama presented herself precisely as she needed to in order to be digested by the American people: as a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother. And definitely not as a successful and independent American working woman.

Being this “independent American working woman” is a lie and a myth.  It leaves many women alone, childless and not by choice, overworked, bitter, and resentful that they have missed their chance to be married or have children.  If they’re married, they’ve been lied to that they can have it all and do both.  Very few women accomplish this.  It’s not the norm as the media depicts.  This American myth is what has caused the highest divorce numbers in history.  Women from all over the world and various cultures know it’s a myth and laugh at us, while they themselves work to live, instead of live to work.  While they enjoy their families, their status as intellectuals and mothers, and the respect from their communities.  I’ve traveled through Europe and parts of the Caribbean, and can say women in other countries seem far more happier than American women.

It’s articles like these that keep “independent American working women” confused under a smoky hazy of doing what’s right.  They end up like hamsters in a cage running, running, for no one at the end of the day, not even themselves.  Just running to fit this myth.  I think it would be nice to see a more nurturing, feminine image of the Black woman, instead of the superwoman-workhorse aka “strong black woman” that has been fed to us for generations.  So, Michelle, hon, go be mommy to your daughters and bake all the damn Pillsbury cookies you want.

Let them eat their hearts out.


  1. Maryann says:

    @Bottom B–good male perspective, you really like this topic, don’t you, remember the submissive post? LOL

    @SherryBerry–many can relate, Have you tried film conferences and conventions, I have a friend who met someone at the Martha’s Vineyard Film Fest look it up…I wouldn’t be surprised if it comes up during your 9 Tuesdays or something similiar

  2. Sherryberry says:

    Maryann, I so agree with you. I for one never said I wanted it all. From a little girl I’ve seen my mother reluctantly work fulltime and come home so tired from a hard day’s work and then had to take care of three crumb snatchers, and at the end of the day all she had to show for it is being a “strong black woman.” I SO don’t want this. I am all for a woman having a career and bringing home the bacon, but once you have children, sacrifices have to be made. I think their are some professional, black women who are not married, because they can’t turn the superwoman button off when they get home and just surrender to their mates and let him lead. I know it’s hard but- do you want to be alone for the rest of your life?

    I admire Michelle, she doesn’t even know the service she is doing for black women in this country by becoming a team player instead of trying to be the “head bitch that wants to run shit.” Ironically, she does have that position but it came to her naturally, not forcefully which is what true power is. I believe Michelle will be one of the greatest first ladies this country has ever seen! But the biggest thing I admire about her the most is her composure and seeing her with her two girls; what a sight to behold, a mother fully embracing her role and not showing an ounce of regret.

    Black women, we need to learn from Michelle, she is THE black woman right now, she is intelligent, sexy, formidable and feminine- but most of all she knows how to play her positon; which is a very important one.

    Honestly Maryann, Michelle’s situation is the one I want, I want to be married to a powerful, influential man, have his children and be the wisdom and soul he needs in order to grow and maintain. I would love to marry a famous film director! Yes, I want my own success but not at the cost of never having love, family and companionship. I remember Alfred Hitchcock, one of the most famous and influential film makers of all time said, he couldn’t even tie his shoes without his wife (not an exact quote but you get the meaning). His wife edited his films and read his scripts and if she did not like what he wrote- he wouldn’t do the movie; now that’s power (feminine).

  3. Loving a bottom B says:

    Somethings I noticed and figured I share. The most successful women I had the chance to meet or see in the private sector all have the same outline. Excludes well known female stars. They start their career but stay low key. They don’t try to race to the top like their male counterparts.

    They have a family. They get the family out the way reasonably early.

    They keep learning while raising family but stay low key

    Once family has grown they no longer stay low key. They later become the boss or get a seat at the table. They tend to not lose their seats unless they give it up on their own. They stay in power longer because they raised there family and are older they are viewed as less of treat which is false. They learned what to do and what not do to keep their positions. They are able to maximize their family and career in their lifetime.

    Although there male counterpart reach the top faster then her they don’t last long unless they are great men already.

  4. Loving a bottom B says:

    Another great post and good idea bringing it back. The people that hate on her to me are just stupid or ignorant. He had a chance to be and later became the POTUS. Barack is joining an exclusive club and creating a better long term life for their family as well possibly creating a better America. She would be dumb to fight that and not become part of history. She don\’t let him run and we don\’t know who the *uck she is, plain and simple. I rock with Michelle because she knows her role which many women seem to lack these days. Furthermore, instead of trying to use her husband becoming the POTUS for own personal goals like Hillary, however, she instead focusing on providing support and letting him do his job. Which in my mind is good thing because when Barack is done as POTUS he would have created a huge stage for her to do whatever she wants in life without any financial concerns if she chooses.

    On another note like there is no real superman their is no real superwomen. Women are killing themselves trying to be that women when it is impossible. Why? Get too focused with your career your family suffers both the man and the children. This is the downside of the women movements. The movement has created a mindset in women that they must act like men not only in the work place but in the home. it understandable having to act like a man at work but that mentality will not work in the home. I know their are a variety of factors that in come into play with the increase divorce rates since the woman\’s movement but I think this is one. Women have role like Men have a role. Certain role fall to women and some fall to men while some have to be shared. People need to know their roles and play their position. I am not saying the roles cannot change or be expanded but if you don\’t know the basis of your role as a man and as a women you are more likely to have issues. Every successful marriage I know follow that principle. Overtime the women roles expands in certain and different areas and same goes for the man however they both know their role in the relationship.

    A women most important place in society and the world is in the home because they provide the guidance, nurturing and structure for development of our future generations. Men help and supplement but we lack the traits to do the job. I still think women should strive for independence and success in the business world or any other outside interest, however, there has to be balance between family and career with more focus on family until the children reach a certain age. A women can do great things and still be mother and wife.

  5. Missy says:

    (oh wow early post today 🙂

    I really Think Michelle is going to be the one the media is going to attack as extravagant and yes, even lazy. Just wait and see….

  6. Sandy says:

    I absolutely despise the myth of the black superwoman– the notion that it is biologically ingrained in black women to be over-worked matriarchs that feel necessity to take over corporate America, play the carpooling soccer mom, run neighborhood organizations and have dinner on the table by 5 o\’clock. Thats the biggest racially infused sexist okie doke pulled on women in the last 50 years. Black women always have to be depicted as the self-absorbed matriarch but this hogwash does nothing but stress and tax the hell outa many women\’s physical and emotional well-being. No wonder black women have higher rates of stress-related diseases and mental illness than any other ethnic group!
    Being a full-time career woman, mother, philanthropist and loving spouse rolled into one is possible, but in the words of Chris rock, that doesnt mean its to be done. Sure a woman can be the high-powered corporate executive and a truly devoted mother that is able to give her children just as much time as she devotes to her career. However, from personal observation, as well as various academic research, when women attempt to stretch themselves that thin usually it almost always takes a heavy toll on the women which eventually trickles down to either the career or the children. Something usually has gotta give…

    Dont be mistaken, as a proud womanist I believe in a woman\’s right to choose what is in the best interest in her overall well-being and that of her children. Being a mother is the hardest job a woman that chooses to have children will ever undertake. That being said, I see nothing wrong with Michelle Obama opting to be a full-time mother and wife if thats what she chooses to do. She isnt any less smart, driven, ambitious and well-rounded than a woman opting to work 60hrs a week to become VP at her company. She has proven herself more than most in every facet of her life.
    To be honest, IMO, considering how much president-elect Obama will be away from home I honestly think its in the best interest of her daughters that she decided to become more available to them. I am a black woman, and my mother was a stay-at-home mom during my grade-school years and eventually went back to work as her children became older but her career was once again formed around her children and family. Its amazing how many of my peers wanted my mother and my childhood was picture perfect as a result. My mother never once was late to an event or unable to attend one because she was \”working late.\” It doesnt matter if its the mommy or the daddy, at least one parent has to give some slack on time devoted to work for sake of the children. I applaud Michelle Obama for being an independent-minded woman devoted to her family, I hope that many other black women take note sooner rather than later…….

  7. Monica says:

    OMG. Was thinking the same thing. They gonna run Michelle over for being what so many women wish they had, smart, powerful, loved by her husband and adored by her childrn.

  8. Dawn says:

    i never liked that word “strong black woman” i never hear of other groups of women being called “strong white woman” “strong Asian woman” or whatever, it’s racist, and came from racism. Horrid.

  9. Kenya says:

    I could not even finish reading this, because I almost broke down crying, my goodness, how do you know my struggles?! How do you know how when I was a “corporate” woman, how I came home every night and cried because my young baby was growing up without me present? How do you know how my marriage struggled because of my own selfish ambitions, how do you know how devastated I was when I realized I had been duped into believing I could do it all and have it all, and was expected to live up to these ridiculous standards, and how do you know the struggles and cries, valid, real cries of so many women across America, who are trying to achieve and hold on to these same standards. (of course these “how’s” are rhetorical) Your words reverberate through me. They resound in me.

    Yes, there are women who do achieve it, but not without the help of the nanny and the very wealthy husband, for the rest of us…good luck!

    I have changed careers and found some balance, but a lot was sacrificed along the way. Even at times my own self-confidence.

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