Just Because….Loyalty


This has been on my mind lately. Everyone loves Will and Jada. But the inside scoop is that these two are both bisexual, and partake in sexual activity outside of the marriage. It’s a rumor. Who knows. Everyone is free to negotiate their relationship.

However, I just respect the loyalty they have for each other. Loyalty is in a class by itself. It’s an age-old trait. Wars have started over loyalty or disloyalty and kingdoms have fallen.

When I think of loyalty I think of truth. You have to have a bottom line. Something that will never change. You know those mafia men? As murderous as some of them were, as much head they got outside the home, they still were loyal to the wife. They would never, ever leave. You have to ask yourself, mafia or not, why do some women stay?

They stay because loyalty is rare. Once you know you have a man who is loyal at any cost, it hooks you. [Note: We are not using being faithful and being loyal interchangeably. They are not the same!) We can intellectualize what is right or wrong about it. But when a man makes you feel like the queen, or the one, even his indiscretions seem like nothing more than distraction.

They stay because though the costs are high, with loyalty, there are always two winners.

Loyalty is love on a dimension that few people in this world will ever experience.

I remember back in my young whipper snapper days….there was a man that I was so in love with. For 5 years, I chased him. He was in a relationship. I remember during the whole time I “chased” him he never gave in. I would put down bait, he would never bite. I’d bad talk his woman for the hell of it, and he’d always stop me, “Yo, yo, yo…” That made me love him even more. It also made me more curious about her, because if he loved her like that, and I loved everything he loved, then she must be a cool chick. I wanted to be her. She was a teacher, I became a teacher. I wanted to know what made him so loyal. He never talked bad about her. I had to have him.

Some years later, he came for me. We broke up eventually but loyalty was never an issue. With all the dating books there are out there, no one ever says listen for loyalty. If all a man has is bad news about the women in his life, slow down. Think. No one was ever good enough? Everyone was just crazy, evil, selfish?

Denise Richards has a new book out now and she does not bad mouth Charlie Sheen at all. One of the reviewers, said they could see why a woman would marry Charlie. With all his vices (And Denise has them too!) he was there.

She is still a part of his life and there is a respect that she still has.

Remember, Mel Gibson’s ex wife coming out to speak on his behalf when his baby mama accused him of physical violence? She told the courts he was not an abusive husband in their 25 years of marriage. Case closed. That’s loyalty. Her word had more weight than friends, family or a baby mama. But what is more important is what was it about Mel that made her do that after all the pain he caused her?

In this world, you just can’t burn your bridges. When you do, you have nothing. If the only person who can speak good of you is your mama, check yourself.  Friends, and your former gym school teacher don’t count once you have lived a little.

Listen to the men who speak from love. Loyalty does not have an expiration date.

Read more about loyalty


  1. hiphopmuse says:

    Loyalty is definitely an undervalued trait. There are many PEOPLE, not just men, who don’t hold their partners in high regard. It takes loyalty for a person to be there through thick and thin.

  2. Deja says:

    Some men are just dogs! They do not deserve no loyalty at all! They will use that to walk all over a woman. So give me a break!

  3. ChiLawyergirl says:

    Love this! My man and I have been through it all and he puts up with me and my little ways. I love him for it. He is the ultimate loyal man for everything that he does and does not do. He lets me be my imperfect self, I overlook some things, and we found our own happiness.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *