Kanye: I Ain’t Sayin’ He’s An Alpha Male, But…


….if the shoe fits…

Here’s what Kanye West told People magazine some months back about his search for a wife:

“I want to have kids, but I want to have the right girl too – someone who really cares about me….When I’m in a club, girls are super-calculating, planning every step,” he says.

So, my question is does he want a bodyguard, a therapist or a wife?  It sounds like he wants someone who can care about him, but what can he offer but a cash allowance?

“It’s lonely at the top. Losing my mom, having no woman in my life to support me – I feel like I’m on my own and can only express it through my music.”

Kanye, there are many folks like you out there.  Those who want to get, get, get.  Unfortunately, this is something found in many alpha males.  The desire to get before they give, if they can give.   But there’s just something scarier about a someone who has so many needs and demands, and nothing to give but more expectations and demands.  It’s tiresome.  The best bet is a man/woman who is a self contained individual, who can also be vulnerable.   A self contained person has an understanding and hold on their own emotions without relying on others to interpret their feelings, or relying on others to make them feel better.   They don’t expect you to make them happy, they come to the table asking you to join their party.  That’s an ideal alpha male, who’s also not needy, but emotionally available.  It’s really not that hard.   Kanye doesn’t sound like he’s boyfriend material, never mind a husband, according to “alpha” female standards.   By all other standards, he is an alpha male (one of the few in hip hop) who needs emotional rehab.


  1. V says:

    also keep in mind that pre-accident Kanye who drove a little budget Benz and lived in an apartment in Jersey is NOT the same as post-accident self congratulatory Kanye. I think that ordeal affected him a lot. Also his normal insecurity has an impact on his “bravado.” P.S. guys, when you read an interview or quote from a “celebrity” keep in mind there are many occasions when the person didn’t even say that but it was actually their publicist. Kanye may have no idea he was even mentioned in that publication.

  2. V says:

    well…it’s hard to judge someone when you don’t know them. i see a lot of comments that really wouldn’t be reliable unless they are based on personal observations not just contrived media content. whether Kanye is or isn’t an Alpha is very debatable. Really and truly, you can’t determine whether he’s so great and treats people so well unless you actually dated him. and i have heard both good and horror stories from women who dated him for extended periods of time. i’ve seen him be both a gentleman, a regular dude as well as an awful trifling typical (not towards the same people). it just depends on so many factors. he’s a person like the rest of us…don’t know why the expectations of him and the image of him people who don’t know him build up in their minds grows into this enormous bubble.

  3. Loving a bottom B says:

    Thank you Cypher for pointing it out so people can really understand why Kanye is not an Alpha. I think the ladies are fighting for him to be an Alpha male more because they like him as man or his music and are not basing their view strictly on the facts. Yes he some traits but he does not pass the test in my view. Any who disagree please re-read Cypher comment.

  4. Noisy Girl/ Lovely... says:


    Bill Clinton, Barack, Richard Parsons and Jay-Z are 37 and over. They are grown (expletive) men. They’ve all had their rebellious, whoring days. Everyone goes through this.

    Kanye is in his early 30s. He’ll mature with time.

    He cried out about not winning, he started winning. He arrived late at a concert, his fans waited. He made retarded comments, so what, it didn’t effect his record sales.

    Talk about trying really hard to paste pieces together for your defense. Your defensiveness and failing to recognize this man, are all signs that you are a beta and a hata (hater, I liked how “hata” rhymes). Geeeeeeze

    Lastly, ALL men become successful to flaunt. If not they’d do whatever it is they are special at, at a nonprofit.

    Maryanne, Alpha Male series ASAP.

  5. cypher says:

    I would not categoreize Kanye as an Alpha. Granted he is a talented individual who became successful in a trecherous industry, his immature, emotional tantrums are well documented prior to his mother’s unfortunate passing.

    A successful, wealthy man does not need to flaunt his talent/money/accolades by bahaving like spoiled brat because they didn’t get an MTV award, or by disrespecting your fans by intentinally showing up 5 hours late to a concert that they waited all night to see, or by blaming all of your retarded comments you made on the air while you were drunk on champagne on the radio host.

    Alpha men don’t have to scream to the world, “look what I got, look at my money, look at my woman, etc…”. You don’t see Bill Clinton, or Barack, or Richard Parsons or since we are talking about a hip hop artist, Jay-Z doing those things…they move and shake and have people believe without the childish antics.

  6. Sherryberry says:

    I don’t propose to know who Kanye is but, I do respect the hell out of him for saying what he said on NBC during the Hurrican Katrina Benefit.

    (1)If he is a mama’s boy, his mother raised one hell of a man.
    (2)Yes, he is arrogant, but you have to be arrogant to set trends.
    (3)We don’t know that Kanye is a complete and utterly selfish prick. But we do know that he is determined, self possessed and confident with his swag- qualities of an Alpha male, no?

    I am not the biggest Kanye fan in the world, but I believe in giving a brother a chance. This man lost his mother and fiancee in a blink of an eye: and he’s still standing strong.

    I’m sorry if I disagree, but unless I have 100% proof that he is beyond cause, I believe he is capable of finding “the one” for him.

  7. MsKris says:

    “As they revolutionize music they constantly change their love interest because that’s how they get inspired. He’s going to go crazy before he settles.”

    This man is a Gemini though and belongs in a whole other category- that definitely needs to be accounted for. He’s not a typical man. He’s two men in one. One half of him may be an Alpha but the other half is straight up insane lol

  8. Noisy Girl/ Lovely... says:

    How is anyone debating against him not being alpha? This guy’s creative abilities and outspoken ways outreach far outside Hip Hop culture and he was not handed this power, he took it. He’s emotional because he’s an artist…moreover a poet. I’ve given the man my money for his wisdom and insight many times, how is that not beyond Alpha.

    He’s just a momma’s boy? Come on, so are we just going to neglect the fact that he’s a multi millionaire. I guess we are supposed to forget the length of time it took him to gain his wealth.

    He’s like Miles Davis, Gordon Parks, Stevie Wonder, and many other masterminds. Music/ their craft is their first love and nothing will change that. As they revolutionize music they constantly change their love interest because that’s how they get inspired. He’s going to go crazy before he settles.

    We’ll get good music nonetheless!

  9. Loving a bottom B says:

    I dunno about Kanye. I agree with the points you state in your post but I dont think he fits the mold. He gets too emotional as man for me. I love his music but I dunno about that tag.

    @Macy I don’t see Russel as Alpha. He more in line with Kanye.

  10. Maryann says:

    @Brian exactly, he’s not an alpha because he can rap and sing, but he’s like 1 of 2 rappers actually making any money right now, because he’s distinctive and has cornered a market. Without going into the whole hot hell of a basket of what makes him such.

    Will ponder some more tho before I induct him into the Alpha Male Hall of Fame…

  11. Brian says:

    I challenge your premise that Kanye is an Alpha. Just because he raps/”sings” and is creative does not make him an Alpha. He makes laides swoon because he can step on stage and get everyone to cheer for him – he is talented. But at the end of the day – He’s just a Mama’s boy.

    Like many men in his line of work, Kanye has a problem seperating the real women from the groupies. I would say that it is impossible for Kanye to find a woman that doesn’t know him at this point and in order to find one that won’t be “in it for the money” he’ll need to find someone in his profession or someone bringing in dough like him. However, if he keeps dealing with the model chicks – He’ll end up like Russel – and he’s probably not that much unlike him.

  12. ms. tee says:

    The question you asked is a valid one if you just skim the surface and know nothing about the man behind the bravado. But..if you’ve been infatuated by him like I have been for years and you’ve read the interviews of his girlfriends and ex girlfriends and you’ve spoken to his Mom, you would know that Kanye is definitely a family man. He is considerate and treats women very well. What does he have to offer in return for being a support system for him? With all of the passion and emotion and chivalry and creative inspiration that Kanye possesses, he’s offering a lot.

    That valuable package will be readily embraced if I ever get to meet him…and maybe I can even help him with the “rehab” you say he needs- All I think he really needs is someone who truly adores and respects him.

    I’m on my way to becoming a therapist…and I got lots of love to give.

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