WEEKEND REWIND: How To Tame An “Alphanista”

By Guest Blogger Te-Erika Patterson

If you’re up for a challenge, your relationship with an Alphanista will be the most frustrating, yet exhilarating ride that you’ve ever experienced- that is, if you know how to navigate the rocky terrain.

Sometimes I meet men who have so much potential but they just don’t get it. With a free spirit like me, you have to operate differently. The same rules that you’ll use with the average woman who uses her skills in the kitchen or the bedroom to snag her man won’t work with me.

Although there will never be a definitive guide to taming an Alphanista, (because she can not be tamed) following these suggestions will get you closer to your goal- the rest is up to God.

Be Consistent
You have to be consistent, mainly because I’m not. My preferences or taste buds can shift whenever the wind blows and I am energized by the complete freedom to change my mind on a whim. It’s challenging enough to wake up and decide what I want out of life “today” so I need a man who means what he says and does what he promises to do, day in and day out. Since most people alter their opinions to match mine, a man who is consistent with his preferences, expectations and actions provides the kind of structure that translates erotically.

Say Yes
You don’t say “no” when I see something pretty because you don’t have to. Your finances are not shaken by the state of the economy because your resources are long and strong. Even if you do lose out on a business venture, you have 5 more right behind it that are flourishing. You believe I deserve the best that life has to offer and you know it’s your responsibility to give it to me. I’m your fantasy woman and you’re not about to spoil your dream come true by not being able to give me my heart’s desires.  There’s nothing that delights you more than watching my eyes twinkle as I give you a kiss after trying on one of your sparkly gifts or receiving a phone call from a business connection that you supplied. Thank you!

Correct Me
Yes, I do run shit in most situations and it is completely within my reach to do so elegantly but spending so much time teaching and molding others can take a toll on the psyche of an Alphanista. Don’t abuse this gift but I want to give you the secret; I like
being taught and corrected by my man. If you can teach me something that will add to the success of my business endeavors I will definitely keep you around longer. And…every once in while, I need to be reminded that I am a mere mortal. An intentional, open handed smack to my rump will revitalize me and I will thank you for it.

Feed Me
I like to eat. You bring the food. That’s your job every single day. Show up to my place empty handed and that proves you don’t give a damn about me or my well-being. Goodbye.

Let It Slide
Sometimes the line between work and play can be blurred, at least in my mind. I have to be the hard ass to get things done and sometimes I carry that attitude home with me. I apologize in advance but you will just have to learn to deal with it. Don’t fight me on it. Let me rant and rave and try to strong arm you into doing the dishes. Instead of overanalyzing my requests- Do the dishes. It doesn’t take away from your role as my man. When I come down off of my power trip, I’ll realize what I’ve done and you’ll benefit from an apology you’ll never forget.

Let Me Love You
Yes, I have a whole list of people whose main desire is to please me but I have a sweet side too. I want to spoil you and pamper you and be your trophy too. I want you to brag to your friends about how well I take care of you and how much I add to your success. Don’t fight me when I want to do something nice for you. You deserve it just as much as I do. Let me take you on a trip and buy you something nice. Let me sweep you off your feet. Allow me to use my powers for good in appreciation for the wonderful man that you are. Let me love you in all of the extravagant, calculated ways that I know how because…I want to. Isn’t it your job to give me what I want? Uh huh…That’s right.

Read more about this writer at www.te-erika.blogspot.com.


  1. Nikki says:

    Well, I have to admit that I am not an Alphanite woman. I do like much of the list, because a woman is a treasure to be appreciated by a man if not by the world.

    I was a little thrown with the title “Say Yes.” Fansasy women only exist in fantasies. You will not be perfect all the time, and a man will definitely know that (early). While staying strong and secure is a wanted trait by all women, men are human and need support at times in their life. If a man cannot come to you, he will go to someone else, and appreciate that someone more for being understanding. I am not suggesting “cheating”, it can be a good male friend, mother, or co worker.

  2. Brian says:

    @anthony – it’s been said many times, many ways – wow.

    Hopfully that’s not true in all cases – but i’m sure you can run into each one of those translations in different women.

    Let Me Love You is probably the most accurate of them all.

  3. mike says:

    I cant believe you got published!!! @ Anthony. WOW. Finally someone to sum up this insanity in a nice package. It simple ladies, come back to earth, and work with us, good, bad and indifferent, and this thing might actually work out. THANK YOU ANTHONY!!!!!!!!

  4. Be Consistent
    “You have to be consistent, mainly because I’m not.”
    Translation: I’m a goofy ass knucklehead who requires of you more than I require of myself.

    Say Yes
    “You don’t say “no” when I see something pretty because you don’t have to.”
    Translation: You’ve got money and I want to spend it mostly because I want to make sure I’m ok if and when I decide to ditch you.

    Correct Me
    “Yes, I do run shit in most situations and it is completely within my reach to do so elegantly but spending so much time teaching and molding others can take a toll on the psyche of an Alphanista.”
    Translation: I am not as smart as I come off so I will need correction often most likely verbally in the beginning but of the Chris Brown variety later on down the line.

    Feed Me
    “I like to eat.”
    Translation: I’m probably going to get fat within the next 10 years because by then we’ll be married and if you leave me, my fat ass will get half anyway.

    Let It Slide
    “Sometimes the line between work and play can be blurred, at least in my mind.”
    Translation: Yes, I’m a typical miserable bitch that will push your buttons because I need to transfer the negative energy I have from work to my home life.

    Let Me Love You
    “Yes, I have a whole list of people whose main desire is to please me but I have a sweet side too.”
    Translation: Once in a while, I’ll let you fuck me but don’t expect anything weird like oral or a quickie. And, excuse me if I lay there and let you do all the work. After all, I love you, I think!?

  5. mike says:

    Point taken Brian. If they would only “SAY” That it would all be so simple. But I guess the name of this blog is ‘Alphanista” so we should expect the extra-ordinary!

  6. Nikki says:

    What is on here that is so hard to grasp? Some men are so lazy….thank God I don\’t know any of them!

  7. Brian says:

    You can’t take everything said so literaly. This is more of what an alphanista wants from her man. And where do you get that he has to foot the bill? Alphanistas should be getting their big money on as well.

    All these points can be summed up into one thing: Stability. All women, Alpha or other wise, are looking for some Stability.

  8. Doreen says:

    I do not think it is a fantasy for I have a man just like that and if women would just raise their standards for 1 day this world would be a better place. You sound like a real slacker mike. Can’t measure up? LOL

  9. mike says:

    This guest blogger is delusional. You know I’m starting to get the gist of this. This a forum where folk can post fantasies about how they view themselves, void of reality. There is no way I am to believe you or any female actually believe that this depiction of what makes a “alphanista” tamable is at all realistic. No wealthy man will put up with his woman being totally aloof, unpredictable, blatantly disregarding, all the while footing the bill? Sorry if I am being pesimistic here but, Being a ‘alphanista” seems like an excuse to be a mean girl.

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