How To Talk To A Man

Think Before You Open Your Mouth...
Count to three, before you dial, girl...

I read about this on Blogxilla, a very intriguing post from a man’s perspective that got me to thinking.  Women think they know how to talk to a man because they talk to him like they do their friends–girlfriends.  Definitely a no no.  Here’s what the blog said, a few of its rules:

Get To The Point

  • We don’t need to know every single detail of what went on. Time is money, so If you got into an argument with office tramp, I don’t need to know what she had on…Start w/ the conclusion and then I’ll be more likely to want to listen to the other details.

The truth. How many times do you want to tell him everything so he “understands”?  Waste of breathe.  Here’s something else:

Remember Remember…

  • If you want us to remember something… You might have to remind us, or get us to repeat it back to you or something….If you want us to remember it let us know before you say it… Xilla this is the important part, as soon as you do that my mind recorder presses play.

I take this to mean that it’s okay to teach a man subliminally.  Meaning, suggest to him what is important either through telling him, or using various voice ranges.  I feel so sorry for those girls with the little tweety bird or monotoned voices because they get tuned out after the first sentence.  Also, leave the business, nasal voice at the office.

Personally, I like silence in my relationships.  I don’t like too much yipping and yapping.  Nights in front of the tube politicking over the latest current events is cool and all, hours on the phone when we start dating, ok.  But, once we settle in together, I like that comfortable silence.  That silence that used to make you feel something is wrong because “he’s soooo quiet”.  Ain’t nothing wrong.  Nothing worse for me than a loud mouth flap rapper.  I’m getting a headache with the visual.

Finally,  keep your words succinct, sweet and provide only vital information.  Don’t read between the lines of what he is saying or not saying.  You can learn more from a person by what they don’t say.  Believe that.   If you’re a crafty alpha female, you’ll use moments of silence and suspense wisely, and to your advantage.

DISCLAIMER–You are still responsible to talking to your man in a way that’s best for you two, this is just general means, that is why it is called talk to A man…period.


  1. Brian says:

    Have a begining, a middle, and an end. Don’t continue to add side notes and side stories and then never get back to the original point.

    Tell me what you want me to know and then shut your pie hole. 🙂

    Or if you really want me to know something – tell me right before ‘rocking the mic’

  2. Loving a bottom B says:

    I cant deal with women with annoying voices. That voice leads to her being blocked out and ignored majority of the time.

  3. Loving a bottom B says:

    I don’t really care how she talks to me because I know she wont talk to me in any disrespectful way or manner. That just how I get down and they know. However, does she really listen when I talk is what matters the most. Listening is a more important trait in my mind. Good post. All I can add is females need to put mental clock in their head of when to shut up and let him speak.

  4. Mark S. says:

    a woman’s tone can make me listen or not, how she says it makes me pay attention–interesting. When she’s quiet that’s language too and I listen.

  5. Sherryberry says:

    Also, I don’t think its all about what to say to a man but WHEN to say it. I believe in giving people space and a time to relax instead of bombarding them with questions and information. I’m pretty sure we all no that words can be used as weapons pain or pleasure so knowing where to aim is one thing but knowing when to shoot is another.

  6. Sherryberry says:

    This post will be duly noted in my mind. My career is in communication so the subject on how men and women talk to each other has always been an interest of mine. Fortunately for me, I am more of a listener than a talker ( nothing wrong with talkers but sometimes you repeat sentences and your tone is deafening- that goes for both men and women). I think being a good conversationalist is great but knowing when to be silent and just plain ol’ shut the eff up is priceless.

  7. Maryann says:

    Hey, INK! My twitter brethren… Definitely, hopefully the ladies will know that they should talk to their man, I dont think anyone is going to talk to every new man the same way, just like we have different jobs, we perform differently to meet whatever standards they are. So, instead, INK, you should’ve told us how U like being talked to 😉

  8. Inkognegro says:

    The second you start thinking you talk to ALL men the same way, you run the risk of alienating the kind of extraordinary men you claim you want.

    the trick is to learn how to talk to YOUR man.

    Taking this advice can be hazardous to your relationship/relationship hopes. proceed with caution.

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