How To Get Your Way Like An Alphanista

Alphanista Tameka managed the ultimate coup de Usher, but didn't win in the end
Alphanista Tameka Foster managed the ultimate coup de Usher, but didn't win in the end (unless you count child support and alimony payments, but you can always get more as the WIFE)

By Guest Blogger Toi

I’m one of those people blessed with a mouthpiece.

I’ve been told I can sell snow to a snowman. The ability to persuade is an absolute necessity for an Alphanista. As we all know – say it with me – it’s not what you say but how you say it. You have the ability to make things work in your favor by saying the right things to the right people.

Speeding tickets – if you get pulled over for speeding, you need to come up with a good, believable excuse to get out of the ticket. When the officer comes up to your car, start shaking and bouncing in your seat. Tell the officer that you just picked up your car from the airport, and that you are in a rush to get home because you have to use the bathroom really, really bad. You have a bad bladder and it can’t wait! Make sure to express a sense of urgency, like pee is running down your legs right now. If the officer has empathy, he will let you go and direct you to the nearest gas station restroom.

Getting into an event where you aren’t on the list – this one works best when you personally know the players who have the power to grant you access. You’re in without question. If that’s not the case, crash it. Call the venue in advance, and find out who’s coordinating the event. Get the contact person’s name. Show up to the event looking fly, alone preferably. The more people in your party, the less your chances of getting in. When you show up, ask for the contact person, and ask them if you can gain entry. If you have a nice attitude, they just might let you slide in. Not many people will turn away a gracious, well-dressed woman who’s rolling solo.

Get out of a pointless meeting – someone on your team scheduled a meeting at 4 pm on a Friday. And you’re invited, though there’s no real value in you being there. Ask the organizer for a meeting agenda in advance. If there isn’t anything on the agenda related to you, your tasks, or your projects, simply tell them you will not be attending. And if your input is needed to come and get you. Don’t give them an excuse, just tell them you’re not going. Note: This only works if it isn’t a required meeting.

Credit Card Fees – over-limit and late charges are astronomical these days, and they look bad on your credit history. Who needs that? Call the credit card company and request to have them reversed. If you aren’t racking up these charges regularly the credit card company will usually honor your request. All you have to do is ask, and receive.

There is no guarantee that these tips will work every time, but depending on who you’re dealing with it’s worth a shot. The key here is to ask for what you want, because you just might get it. It doesn’t hurt to try, you never know!

Guest Blogger Toi Duckworth is a sophisticated b-girl from Los Angeles who dishes on urban lifestyle topics via her blog, For unique ways of living life (on the edge, sometimes) get How To Do Almost Anything Like An Alphanista here.  Download instantly!


  1. Danny says:

    Love this post! Yes, Tameka is an Alphanista she went for what she knew, broke in, broke out, ya’ll really need to read her backstory. She really came up and didn’t let anyone stop her from her goal.

    Now does that ticket bathroom thingy really work?

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