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Weekend Rewind: Get Your “Trophy” Man

Here’s an oldie, but goodie.  It’s a new year ladies, time to take it to the next level of bigger is better, no?  Enjoy!

One thing I never lacked was a man of substance, value, and influence.  Timing or character wasn’t always on point, but that can be addressed in another blog.  A man should enhance a woman’s world, not simply detract from it or keep it the same.  Not simply impregnate her and give her womb a work out, but provide a lifestyle that they both nurture and grow together.  Too many times, you find yourself dating civilians, ordinary men who want nothing more than life but a pat on the back from the boss every now and then and a steady paycheck.  That’s fine and well, if that’s what they want.  But if you need more, you need more, period.  Ambition and power is something few men can attest to.  They want to be ambitious, but don’t know how.  They don’t know what opportunities to exploit or explore.  They want power, but don’t have access.  In turn, they abuse others, or themselves to feel powerful.

A “trophy” man is not arm candy to a more successful woman akin to what a trophy wife would be to a successful man.  A trophy man is a man who is used to being celebrated and rewarded because he’s already successful.  To get a trophy man of prestige and status, it’s important to start with your social circle.  Expand and maximize it.  It should reflect people that have already achieved the lifestyle you desire, not folks on their way like you are.  If you associate with the right people in the right social circle, you will be taken care of.  Always keep a level-head.  If you want The Real Housewives of Atlanta you’ll see how disconnected or shallow this crowd may seem.  It’s only a defense mechanism.  People normally want to protect what they believe is limited.  With that said, make sure you associate with people who embrace you, want to show you the ropes, who want to let you in.

Next, a woman’s desire is powerful.  If you have a desire to marry wealthy then it can happen.  Trust me, not too many women are even thinking this because it is far out of their reach, or at least they think it is.  Or they convinced themselves that it’s shallow and mean to just want a man for what he can provide. Remember, those are defense mechanisms for fear.  If you want a man of wealth, you must be confident and you must be free of the opinions of others.  Focus solely on your desire, and the things that make you feel rich.  Fake it till you make it works.  Just ask at least half of the millionaires and successful role models of the world.  Whether it’s with the new social circle, a gala party invite, or a lovely Chanel scarf.  Whatever it is that makes you feel rich, embrace it.

Finally, to get a trophy husband or man of wealth, you must know where to go.  You can start by finding out the 101 Hottest Places To Meet A Millionaire.  With the proper mindset and tools, you can marry well off in no time.  Just keep your head up.

11 COMMENTS

  • AroundHarlem.com

    Needs to be repeated —> A man should enhance a woman’s world, not simply detract from it or keep it the same.

    Interesting topic. I\’m slowly but coming to the same conclusions about dating. However, it seems a bit shallow to measure a man simply based on net worth.

    My reasons for re-evaluating subject is because my own income and ambition has been an issue in relationships before. I figure if money wasn\’t an issue, or how much I make vs. him, we might be able to connect better.

    April

  • Loving a bottom B

    No it’s not shallow to for a woman to want financial abundance and a man to want women of beauty. However, it is shallow if those are the only and deciding factors you care about because if so you must accept the gift and the curse that come with that choice. Men and Women need to know some of the basic things they want to have a greater chance of success in their relationship.

  • MsKris

    Society would have young women grow up believing that if you want to be with a successful affluent man then you’re shallow because it’s all about love yadda yadda. I say Eff that!

    I was with my man for love and because of his lack of ambition and my thirst for it he developed too many insecurities. I got my Master’s at 22 and he was still living at home with mama and got his Bachelor’s at 25 with no intention of getting his Master’s and he’s 28 now and still living home with mama. He felt like he wasn’t good enough for me and even though I tried to protect his ego and I really did love him- the truth was I needed a man on my level.

    If you’re 10 steps ahead and your partner can’t catch up you can’t bring them to where you are- they have to want to be there. If they can’t get on your level then there are going to be problems, insecurities, jealousy and resentment most of the time.

  • James

    Definitely dont mind this, just dont wanna feel like I’m the only trophy in the relationship.

  • Macy

    interesting! i think neither request is SHALLOW, I think people can ask for what they want a man has a right to want an attractive woman and women have a right to ask for a man with money, both are fleeting qualities. Of course, no one said those are the ONLY qualities. I respect Joel’s opinion. But men are always extra sensitive when women start setting terms on what they want in a man.

  • Maryann

    Just gonna throw a question out there. If it’s “shallow” for a woman to expect and desire a man of financial abundance, is it just as shallow for a man to expect a woman of beauty and attractiveness?

    Just askin….

  • Joel

    whew! before Sandy chimed in, i started to think “man! this is the shallowest of topics being discussed by the shallowest of women.” i think Sandy embodies the 21st century’s constructive psyche of women best: yoke yourself with an ambitious, smart man who you can build with TOGETHER. just as women have always required that their potential male mates be ambitious and earning, we men require the same. reality dictates that two incomes among a man and woman working together toward mutual family/business/life goals is powerful. so i think women who continue to search for “A Trophy Man” without considering what they will financially bring to the table will be left behind.

  • Kenya

    Sandy it is refreshing to see such a young confident woman! You go! I think we need more young women that know their worth and don’t settle for less. God bless.

  • Sandy

    As a trophy woman myself that idolizes her daddy and grandaddy, I would expect nothing less than a trophy for a potential husband. I know my worth and I know, as fact, what I will get in a spouse. However, as a young woman I prefer trophies-in-training. I dont expect to marry someone thats already wealthy, but rather if the legitimate potential is there (i.e. educational attainment, foot in the door in profession, networking connects, etc), we can grow together. This is how many older women I know did it. Specifically speaking of my grandmother, she has been married to my loving grandfather for 50 years. Although he didnt have much in the beginning but now my grandmother has 3 cars, two houses and a closet to be envied. That life will be mine–and well before I’m 30 😉

  • Ms. Tee

    Oh, Ima get mine….

  • Kenya

    OK, people are going to read this and maybe think…hmmmm…ok…but before they develop an opinion about the message, they really need to think, constructively, about what it is saying.

    OK, I am a person who has had this experience personally, no not one that married rich, but one who married, and though I LOVE my husband profusely, it has always been a desire of mine to be wealthy, not necessarily a desire of his. Now we married young, so we never checked those goals off our list…come on…love would conquer all, and that is a great, grand idea when you are young and in love…Not so much as you grow and climb the social ladder.

    Not being honest with myself, or my husband has caused tremendous problems, no we don’t fight over money, but we fight over his lack of ambition and it took me a lot of hard days and therapy to learn to just accept who I married, and check myself for not considering what I really wanted, not believing I could really have it and ultimately not pursuing it.

    So would I change it to go the route of finding that “trophy man,” probably not but I would be a hypocrite if I told women to suppress their feelings on this issue. You better be honest with yourself about what you really, really want and if it’s a “trophy man,” Go For It! I am not saying (nor is the the author of this blog) compromise yourself (marry someone you don’t love, for what they have…blah…blah). Quite the contrary, don’t compromise and be honest about what you want for your life and don’t be afraid to pursue it!

    (And yes I am happily married!)

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