Tip 13: How To Be An Alphanista

“An alphanista knows two things-the art of reinvention and the art of surprise….

What happens when you can’t be all that you thought you could be?

You reinvent yourself.  Reinvention is not a linear process.  It has nothing to do with finishing school, getting the right friends, job, love, or home.  It is about surviving adverse situations, coming out on top, re-awakening the “Rocky” in you to surprise yourself, and those who forgot about you.   It’s about taking what’s left and molding it into the new you.  The thing about reinvention is this:  No one helps you.

It can only happen by the straps of your own boots.  By you sitting at home one weekend, one month, one year, or over lunch with friends, and saying, “Yeah, that’s what I want to be.”   That “that” may be something you had never tried.   But everything else has been taken from you.  It is your chance to do something new.  To leave a mark.  To be great once again.

Reinvention is for those alphanistas who have a little thing called-spirit.  Spirit is talked about, but rarely understood.   It’s that little sing-s0ng in an alphanista that whispers in her ear when she just got evicted.  It’s that little word or flash of light she sees when she’s just been jailed.  It’s that word that tells you “It ain’t over yet” because you have whole new chapter, opening up in front of you.  It’s those words that help you get up in the morning, and apply for that job you aren’t qualified for–and later, get, by the seat of your pants that is a bridge to another place, another you.  Reinvention is about making order out of chaos.

A spirited woman is a woman full of life.   Who can’t be beaten.  It’s not about strength, but about vision.  Spirited women are not exactly strong, but they stand up, when they get ready.  To me, “strong” is more sturdy, rigid, cold, unemotional.  When you’re on your way to re-invention, you’re anything but.   You need to be flexible, pallable like dough.

Here are some possible reinventions with varying degrees of transition, many done and written about more than once.  I’m working on one of the below 🙂

  • Pop Star to Self Help Therapist
  • Divorced Housewife to Las Vegas Stripper
  • Starving Artist to Famous Politician
  • U.S. Ambassador to Fitness Trainer
  • Small Business Owner to Fortune 500 CEO

An alphanista may reinvent her life several times to make sense of a mess she created.  If she didn’t get the husband, get the home, or whatever she had prized, and find a new love.   She may move off to Italy, and become one of the nations’ only celebrity foreign chefs.  Odd, huh?  Exactly.  A reinvention hardly ever makes much sense to others, but the inventor….


  1. Marianne says:

    thanks maryann,ithink that is the best answer for me,idont know how bless iam to have found you mistake.may not have been ,but i was lead to you some how.i dont why but im thankful.i be lerking just neverwanted respond until something smack me in the face.the truth in my life. in which was this topic….kisses i really do not know how seperate periods from comas,but i can write and get my point across so please dont judge me for that.sorry i just have self issues right now….more kisses

  2. Maryann says:

    @Marianne what works for me is WAIT. I wait. It’s part of my process and allows me to take a breath. There’s always that gap in life for all of us and I don’t have to fill it in with something all the time.

  3. Marianne says:

    im cryin as iread this…im stuck in a situation that i cant get out, what if u have a VISION that i know could help you out of rut,but you have no money,no help from others,then what….

  4. Maryann says:

    Sure, this blog is more than fun for me or a business, it’s therapy. It really has been instrumental in my own growth without burdening the blog down with too much of me me me lol.

  5. Monique says:

    This post came right on time, I am definitely in the process of a reinventing myself for the better and this gave me a much needed boost! Thanks so much.

  6. Toy says:

    I’ve been lurking for sooo long but this post really pulled me out of hiding. I’ve been through so much the last couple of years, mainly being depressed because I’ve always been on top of my game but had to sit out of college due to non financial & emotional support from parents. I was supposed to graduate last year & start grad school but I’ve had to sit back & watch my friends excel. Every plan I’ve tried to get around my obsticle has failed but reading this gave me hope…thanx

  7. Cayenne says:

    “Its not about strength its about vision” …girl preach. This tip hit home, I am dead center in the middle of this exact circumstance.

  8. tender says:

    I NEVER did fit in. I didn’t understand why I was so different from both my friends AND my family. I just was. I found this site and was like DAMN! This is ME! I was like 19/20 then. I just had to say thank you for the site AND the name for women like us. I was starting to get worried, lol.
    Anyway, I’ve done the re-inventing. And, of course, leaving my mark was in the plans already cause I’ll be moving pretty soon. The old me isn’t the one I want people to remember. She was young and lost. Therefore, I have to “re-invent” my reputation as well. Wish me luck, lol

  9. Beatrice says:

    Wow this is something folks don’t talk about like they should! BUT at what cost do you reinvent yourself? I mean there are mothers leaving their children and husbands behind! There must be a cost to pay.

  10. EbonyLolita says:

    Good post, nada but the truth. I’m in the process of reinvention right now. It’s a powerful yet comforting feeling to be in charge of yourself, your life goals and your image. Im currently doing a physical reinvention and also working on my home right now. *off to HomeDepot again*
    Enjoy your process while I do the same. Shoutout to all the Alphanistas 🙂
    My spam word is Toast, how fitting

    Love, EbonyLolita

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