Comments on: He Said/ She Said Game: Your Side Of The Story

By: LR

LR — Wed, 27 May 2009 00:34:39 +0000

I find this “gentleman” very disrespectful of his lady’s feelings. She has given you a family, a home life and very importantly, her good years (which she’ll never get back.) Trust, this is not about her friends. If you really love her, why are you OK with causing her shame and embarrassment just for being stupid enough (very studpid, IMO) to love you and stand by you for all these years? Obviously, there’s something there. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be there a decade and 2 kids later. Your parents did you a disservice by raising you to think that marriage doesn’t matter. Look at what it has done to you. Your parents turned you into a selfish @#$%. Now you seem to want to repeat the cycle… BTW, this isn’t about flossing either. Lots of folks go to city hall for a cheap marriage…

A man who rejects marriege after a multiyear relationship is making the statement: “I don’t care enough about this trick to marry her. I only care enough to $$% her and/or make babies until I find someone better!” Is this the message you want to portray about the woman you claim to love? No wonder she’s embarrassed… Doreen, if you really want get married, you can’t afford to wait another 11yrs. Decide and make a plan. Tick tock.

By: Estilo

Estilo — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 01:22:37 +0000

just glad he kept it real….90% of men wouldn’t….and his reasons are plainly summed up by the statement “she stayed and she WILL STAY.” She lost whatever leverage she had long ago if he would even say that. However, marriage shouldn’t be about cajoling or tactics to make it happen,,,if it’s not happening kinetically, on it’s own, totally organically, then why force it. do u really wanna feel like your husband married u only out of pressure?

By: EbonyLolita

EbonyLolita — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 23:32:05 +0000

@Maryann. Thank u for the fact check
@Zabeth. Big Up for the agreement :0

I think that people have gotten so used to shacking up that when you mention trying to be married everyone turns their nose up at it. Yes the divorce rate is over 50%, but what were the qualities of those relationships prior to the vows. People are delusional at times and see the signs that their mate is not worthy and still push forward b/c a lot of people want a WEDDING and not a MARRIAGE. I strongly recommend that if your going to marry someone you do your homework in terms of who they are emotionally/physically/spiritually. Yes, some men/women are the Masters of Deception but at least you can say you’ve tried and you put your best foot forward.
I have done so and saved myself from saying I Do to Mr. Don’t. It’s lonely at times to be single but I know that I’m quality so I’m holding out for the same. In the interim I will continue to evolve and work on my flaws and enhance my positives. I say a prayer to GOD above and step out into the world knowing that I AM Worthy Ladies please do the same and good luck on your journey of finding a man that should be enamored that you’ve chosen him.
TaTa for now….. EbonyLolita

By: The Hooker Chronicles

The Hooker Chronicles — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 15:10:28 +0000

@babydoll

Man, it’s a marriage like a mother F*cker, minus all the legal mumbo jumbo! He’s also my business partner, so not only are we a family unit, we’re a business unit!

It’s a win/win for us..

I couldn’t imagine anyone telling him to leave me just because I don’t want to be married! All that does is make me just another single parent household and I ain’t doing that one!

By: babydoll

babydoll — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 13:21:53 +0000

To THC: You sound married, except you just don’t have the official title- if you gonna do ALL that, just get married….what difference does it make? none

By: Zabeth

Zabeth — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 00:24:39 +0000

If it’s just a piece of paper, than what’s the big deal? Just do it! LOL! C’mon, when people say that, it usually means that there’s a bigger issue they’re either concerned or insecure about.

By: Cruz

Cruz — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 15:51:39 +0000

Whoa! I’m kinda confused as to why she needed clarification, Sounds to me like dude has made it pretty darn clear that he’s not getting married, like ever.

Girl find you a man who shares your views of love and commitment or convince yourself that marriage is just a piece of paper like many bonehead women do and make it work. SImple if you ask me.

By: The Hooker Chronicles

The Hooker Chronicles — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 12:10:58 +0000

Im not married to my primary partner but I list him as a partial benefactor on insurance forms, and Im pretty sure the man in this post has done the same for her and his children.

My primary partner also has it set up through his job to have his wages disbursed to his children’s college fund as well as my son’s college fund.

If he makes proper provisions to make sure that everyone is taken care of then there should be no problems.

But I hate the idea of folks thinking that they are ENTITLED to monetary benefits. If I were to die today, I have made provision for everyone in my immediate family to be taken care of, even the ones who are not legally or blood related like my boyfriend

By: ohthesweetpromise

ohthesweetpromise — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 04:20:53 +0000

@Zabeth I agree with you 100%

By: Zabeth

Zabeth — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 03:45:47 +0000

“If you drop dead tomorrow your children are entitled to NADA! Your GF, the same. Marriage is not only a commitment to God, but a protection financially and legally.”

That’s why marriage is more than just a piece of paper- I really wish people would get that idea out of their heads. Any woman who cohabitates with a man is taking a big risk.