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Get Him To Take Care Of Needs, Not Wants

by Aminah Hanan

Dare I utter the words “kept woman” in the 21st century?

I know we are all independent women with fabulous careers who love swaying our hips to latest Hip Hop ode to the girls who can lend their men money and all of that. But every now and then one of us meets and settles down with an old fashioned, old school gentleman that believes that it is his duty to take care of his woman. He’s the kind of man that finds your career in biomedical research fascinating and would never dream of asking you to give it up. However, he is comfortable enough financially that your check book can go on hiatus when it comes to the household expenses.

Despite what some women may think being “kept” does not imply that a woman is slothful, a courtesan, or an anti-feminist 50’s throwback. There is an art and a skill to being a kept woman. Rule number one keep the intimate details of your relationship between you and your man. Nothing spoils domestic bliss like the sour tongued unwanted advice of a meddling family member or girlfriend.

Remember he’s taking care of all your needs. Your wants are your responsibility now. Don’t pressure him to make costly purchases. If you must rock only red bottomed shoes or alphabet leather bags buy them yourself. Taking care of you doesn’t mean he should go into debt.

Don’t give up your career. It fascinates him. It’s one of the reasons he fell in love with you. It makes him look good. He loves bragging to his colleagues and friends about the work you do. He snagged a smart woman therefore he must be a smart man.

Take care of home. Keep it clean, comfortable, organized, and well stocked. Hire a cleaning crew to keep your home so clean you could eat off the floors. No time to cook? Hire a personal chef to cook 3 to 4 times a week. Keep a well stocked pantry and frig. He should never be without his favorite energy drink or midnight snack.

Put in work to be the same chic he fell in love with. Have a standing weekly spa appointment to keep things soft, supple, and hair free – if that’s his preference. Make time to learn to do things he’ll love. From perfecting a pole dance to a cooking class with his mother to learn to make his favorite dish, he’ll appreciate your desire to please him and it’ll inspire him to work harder.

DO IT BIG! It doesn’t matter if it’s his birthday, your anniversary, Father’s Day, or you’re celebrating his latest accomplishment, buy him that vintage pocket watch he’d never buy for himself or spring for that luxurious getaway to Abruzzo.

Send him surprise thank you gifts. He works hard to take care of you. It’s OK to say thank you. If he’s a closet sommelier, he may enjoy a membership to a wine club. A new accessory from his favorite designer or a couple’s massage are also nice ways to say thank you.

Save for a rainy day. Emergencies arise and circumstances change. Be smart, consult a professional and learn how to save and invest your money wisely. There’s nothing sexier than a woman who can say to her man during a time of distress, “I got this. I got us.”

Remember you’re a smart woman that’s why he fell in love with you.

Aminah Hanan is an alpha female, blogger, book lover, blog conference Program Director, crafter, Health Care Professional, and writer who lives in Chicago with her family. Email her at home@alphanista.com.

4 COMMENTS

  • Sarystal

    Thats what I’m talkin bout!

  • Lola

    Any man I’m laying with is handling both, thank you!

  • Maryann

    Aminah said: Remember he’s taking care of all your needs. Your wants are your responsibility now. Don’t pressure him to make costly purchases. If you must rock only red bottomed shoes or alphabet leather bags buy them yourself. Taking care of you doesn’t mean he should go into debt.

    I AGREE WITH THE ABOVE. Too many women want men to prove how they are worth, Loubs are not a need, they are a want. You will be more attractive (and get more) the more you do for yourself. Money attracts money.

  • Ebonnie

    YESSSS! This absolutely rocks!

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