Loved this classic.  Enjoy!
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By Guest Blogger, Author Wendy Coakley-Thompson

Vivica Fox is hosting a new show called “The Cougar,” in which an older woman lives with twenty hot young guys, eyeing them like life’s a smorgasbord, and she’s one hungry Swede.

I was intrigued.

After all, I wrote a book, What You Won’t Do For Love, in which the main character falls for a younger guy.  I get it. Sometimes, you got to get your swerve on. If you want someone to knock it out, then maybe a tadpole is what you need.  Men that age are at their sexual peak, and rutting all night is what they do best. But life has taught me some lessons.  I’m looking for someone older.  Because, in head-to-head combat, older men make the grade. Here’s why:

1.    Older men think size is relative.  Whether it’s my plus-size figure or a somewhat smaller appendage, older men usually know how to compensate for each so we both get ours.

2.    Older men don’t have baby mama drama. Chances are, if you’re seeing an older man with kids, they’re grown and outside the sphere of some vindictive baby mama who can ruin your plans, because she’s mad at something your man did or didn’t do before you even showed up.

3.    Older men have seen some things. Even the densest older man has had life experiences that gave him some wisdom that he can share. He’s had problems that are bigger than losing at Madden 09.

4.    Older men have been places. Odds are older men have left the country at some point.  And Canada doesn’t count; it’s still North America. I want a man who doesn’t think I’m talking about Jamaica when I mention that my family’s from the Bahamas.

5.    Older men have their own place. Any older man who’s still living in his mama’s basement at his age is just pathetic, and I wouldn’t be with him.

6.    Older men can navigate a woman’s body. Older men tend to have experience on their side. I shouldn’t have to give a man a Mapquest printout and a flashlight for him to find the clitoris.

7.    Older men take their time. Because they can’t do much fast anymore, you get quality over quantity – Ruth’s Chris over Mickey D’s. In bed and everywhere else…

8.    Older men have a more cultured palate. They tend to appreciate the finer things in life. For some younger men, the only culture they get comes from Dannon.

9.    Older men have their own stuff. I’ll quote the comic A.J. Johnson: “It’s not that we want a man with money. We just don’t want to have to lend him any of ours.” ‘Nuff said.

10.    Older men appreciate your accomplishments. Secure older men have the good sense to recognize that your achievements complement what they bring to the table.

For all these reasons, I won’t be taking on the cougar mantle anytime soon.  Unless, of course, I find a younger man who meets my strict standards. Then it’s on!

For more on our guest blogger, youc an visit her blog The Fiendish Plots of Dr. Wendy Coakley-Thompson at http://wendycoakley-thompson.blogspot.com, on MySpace, and on Facebook.

Sometimes you gotta feed yourself.  The chef is gone, the restaurant is overbooked, the boyfriend is cranky.  So what do you make?  Well, I came across this really nice snack idea for Bananas & Cinnamon Tortilla on Glamour.com.  Tried it a few times and it is tasty and quick.  I’m a foodie and always hungry, and it’s also filling.  I suggest waiting till the bananas are really ripe.  To avoid hunger pangs, keep this in the kitchen:

1) Bananas

2) Tuna Fish (love the canned ones from Trader Joe’s)

3) Avocados (spread on toast for breakfast or a snack is yum)

4) Salsa and Tortilla chips (blue corn chips are my fave)

5) Laughing Cow cheese (you know why!)

I don’t have much else for you today.  So much is going on around me, but eat and be merry!

By Guest Blogger Mila

Rihanna can sing.

She’s one of those young stars (only 22) whom I am so jealous of. She has achieved so much at such a young age and totally deserves to be in the Alphanista Hall of Fame. Always dressed in the coolest outfits, she characterizes her style as dangerous and risky, refusing to be “safe”.

Not only is Rihanna beautiful and talented, she has also built a brand. Born as Robyn Fenty in Barbados, she started singing at just 7 years old, and at 15 she formed a girl group with a few classmates. Rihanna then moved to the U.S. at the age of 16 to follow her singing dreams. Since her debut in 2005. Rihanna has released lots of hits and won 3 Grammys.

She is one of the most recognized female artists in the U.S. With her constantly changing style and risqué approach to fashion and music, Rihanna is adored by her fans. She’s even taking acting classes and thinking of doing movies.

On the other hand, Rihanna’s relationship with ex-boyfriend Chris Brown seemed tumultuous. Almost a year ago, they were involved in a case of domestic violence and Chris had to post $50,000 bail. Rihanna ended the relationship but people still criticized her attitude towards the whole ordeal. They said she was too forgiving. “I actually love and care about him,” said the singer. “I want him to do well, have a great career, have a great life and grow up. And just take this as something you had to go through to grow up and learn.”

No one is perfect. Rihanna was asked in an interview if she looks in the mirror and ever says to herself, “Man I’m cute.” She replied, “No. I just pick at the bad things. Like I’ll say man my gut looks big. That’s why there are mirrors.”  Not sure if I agree with her on the purpose of mirrors, but if I were her, I’d look in the mirror and be pretty happy.

Should Rihanna be nominated into the Alphanista Hall of Fame?  Yay or nay?

Mila is in her twenties and lives and works in New York City. She loves writing, running, and good music. If there’s a dance party, she’s there.

Finally the weather is starting to ease up and get warm.
Here’s hoping that the snow never comes back. With the sun shining again and warmer weather on the way, it’s important to keep your face moisturized. Many people think that it’s only important to moisturize in the winter. That’s not true. Your skin still needs hydration, but it may not need as heavy of a moisturizer.

So I did a little digging and found these three moisturizers that had the highest ratings and customer reviews. I also tried them and found that all of them work well. My favorite is definitely the Neutrogena moisturizer. It hydrates your skin without leaving a filmy or greasy feeling.

Also, a quick tip for hunting for the perfect moisturizer- always look for oil-free and non-comedogenic (which means it won’t clog your pores), especially if you have acne-prone skin. If it just says “dermatologist recommended” that doesn’t mean it’s oil-free and non-comedogenic. So be wary of all those fancy products on the shelves, and go get that summer glow on!

Neutrogena Oil-Free Moisture-

This is the Oil-Free moisturizer made by Neutrogena. Beware though, it doesn’t have any sun protection. However, Neutrogena also makes face cream with sun block built in, and it is just as good, except with a few different ingredients mixed in. I have sensitive skin so I try not to apply sunblock on my face everyday. These Neutrogena moisturizers are super hydrating and don’t leave a film like other moisturizers do. One application is good enough for the day. One downside though is that if you have super dry skin, you may have to put extra cream in those dry areas.

Aveeno Positively Radiant–

This product literally will make your skin glow. After applying it you can see these tiny shiny bits. Aveeno calls them light diffusers that make your skin glow. Regardless, it works great and moisturizes with a pretty scent. This is great for people with slightly dull skin who want to really make their skin glow. However, if you have oily skin, this is not the product for you.

Purpose Moisturizer by Johnson & Johnson-

I didn’t even know this existed until I did some research in beauty and health mags. This moisturizer is awesome for your face and also protects it from the sun. It is made especially for sensitive skin. I used it all during my vacation last week, and it never felt greasy at all. In fact, my face looked awesome, even after a full day in the sun. The only downside is that it smells a little like sunblock, but the scent goes away after awhile. It is also more difficult to find on shelves but is generally available in drugstores. I totally recommend it, especially if you’re an out-doorsy person.

Mila is in her twenties and lives and works in New York City. She loves writing, running, and good music. If there’s a dance party, she’s there.

I hope not.

What better way to look for an excuse to leave somebody?  Searching for a problem will definitely make you find one.  Then what?  Everything usually comes out in the wash.  Wait till then!

ENJOY a classic!

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Here’s a woman you may not have heard of, but should.  Her background is common, but her path is anything but.

A perfect compliment to the post today about “luck”.  Below is an excerpt about her:

Unlike many of her peers in the art world, [40-year old art consultant] Ms. Heirston was not ‘to the manor born.’ Kim was raised by a single mom in Huntington, Long Island who divorced Kim’s dad when she was 3. A talented student with a natural inclination for the sciences, Kim’s desire was to be an actress.

She attended Yale University where she worked at a series of gallery jobs and became hooked on the art world. She worked as the Director of the Stux Gallery and received several job offers to become a dealer. However, Kim was interested in establishing her own business.

She approached an Italian client with the idea that she could become his advisor to help him establish his collection. He agreed. They commissioned a work from Damien Hirst back when he wasn’t well known. The collector paid $60,000 for the piece that later sold at auction in 2006 for $3 million.

She’s a frequent guest at hi-society soirees, and is often requested by publicists to show her face.  She’s had write-up in hi-profile media like the New York Times and New York Magazine.  She is a trendsetter and highly influential among the old money types and millionaire art collectors.  She’s also unique, and gets noticed.  Here’s what New York magazine said:

“…she stands out in the art world, and not just because she is an African-American woman. At six feet tall without heels, she’d be rather visible even without the oversize sunglasses and rock-star shag.”

She is reportedly married to an Australian real estate investor and lives on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. Ahem! One thing an alphanista must do is never to be forgotten, and you can’t be forgotten as the first or the last in anything. Never be hesitant about stepping out of the norm.

I nominate her for induction into the Alphanista Hall of Fame.  Yay or nay?

Before I go into and disagree on some points, I am not single.  I know a little bit about this.

Below are the parts I want to elaborate on:

10. Independence –No man wants a woman they have to baby-sit….”

This is the biggest lie.  At first it may attract, but eventually a man wants a woman who can be co-dependent.  Not helpless, definitely helpful, but not independent.   Some women know how to play this where a man feels you are independent but you still make him feel important and needed.  There is nothing wrong with that.  Independence can be a turn off for many alpha males.  The ones that let you be independent, strangely create women who become insecure and dependent.  Just be you.  If you want to be the girl who wants to be dependent on your man and taken care of, or be submissive, do you.  You’ll attract a man who appreciates.

1. She makes you want to be a better man–”f you suddenly feel bad about how you treated your sister or find yourself trying to get your finances in order, you might want to think about your motivation for doing so. It could be love…”

I agree!  When I was at my cousin’s wedding last year, he said his wife taught him the difference between being “blessed” and “lucky”.  He learned something.  I have heard men say this.  He should walk away with some new feeling or motivation by being with you, just because it’s YOU.  For an Alpha Female, this is a cake walk!

9. Intelligence–”I hate to be the one to tell you this, but the ditzy dumb-blonde chick routine gets real old, real fast…”

I’m still out to lunch on this.  A man will fall in love with someone who isn’t smart for various reasons.  It doesn’t make him bad.  It could be that she is his mental equivalent.  Maybe he isn’t smart or banter over CNN is not that important to him.  Plus, it’s easy to be smart.  Tip: Don’t try to learn everything.  Pick a topic or subject and ace it.  Master it.  You’ll be the smartest-geography-talking-bish ever!

Time is precious.

The Alpha Female in her twenties is all about the hunt, the search for the pot of riches. Whether it’s at work, home, or play she has to get the best dipping and pickings. She’s stubborn. She won’t concede to “maybe it’s not for you” comments when things don’t go her way. She’ll stay focused until she wins the prize–the coveted Chanel suit, the esteemed promotion, or the elusive man she’s been wanting to “catch” her. But sometimes, things don’t go her way. In her 30s, she begins to realize that, if she’s lucky, sooner. To keep doing something because you think it’s owed to you, without any tangible results is precious time you’re playing with.   Most people will turn bitter–blaming the economy, men, or whatever else they imagine is in their way.  A true Alpha will develop a new role she can star in. She’ll take stock of her age, where she is in her life, and what she needs, not just wants, or what others think she deserves.

Never be afraid to start a new dream. It doesn’t mean that the old one has died it’s just been reborn with a new face. If you wanted that house on the hill, then maybe a cottage by the sea would suffice, or maybe one in the woods. Always thought you liked rich men only? Well, how about a man with ambition who worships you? Unfortunately, too many women look for men that they can worship. No. Alpha males are used to this, and in secret, they want to worship you (more on that later).  Your perception about what you need to be happy, must change if you are to win anything in life.

In the end, be fearless.

Have you checked out How To Do ALMOST Anything Like An Alphanista?  Click here to download instantly.

By Guest Blogger Mila

One of my best friend’s is suffering from the never-ending guy story. She is an alpha, but she just can’t let this one go. All of us have heard of him before. He is the friend that you started dating but then stopped dating and tried to be friends with and then couldn’t be friends and started dating again and then stopped talking and then tried to be friends again…

It literally never ends. All of your friends get tired of hearing the same stories about this guy. Even you get tired of dealing with the same old story. Truth is it’s time to give it up. Here’s the advice I gave my friend-

- Back off. It’s really easy to keep pushing to fix the friendship. You probably aren’t ready, and he probably isn’t ready. It is better to give each other some time and space. It might even be best to just let it go.

- If it didn’t work the first three times, it’s probably not going to work the fourth time or the fifth time. Sometimes you just have to move on. It’s easy to try to keep fixing something, but that’s like putting a tiny Band-Aid on a cut that needs stitches. It won’t work in the long-run.

- Hang out with your close friends. Take the time to catch up with your other friends. It’ll help you distance yourself from your ex and also give you new people to confide in.

You can’t lose something you never had. That line is from one of my favorite movies, “How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days”. If your friendship or relationship was broken from the start, then you are better off without it. Every Alphanistas deserves the best. So go after it, and leave that story in the dust heap!

Mila is in her twenties and lives and works in New York City. She loves writing, running, and good music. If there’s a dance party, she’s there.

Power shifts with each level. 

The most power a woman has is in the early stages.  But gradually after sex, power shifts again.  The goal is to keep the power as long as you can even after sex.  It doesn’t have be a power struggle, if both people know the power of their unique, instinctive role.  Or will there always be a power struggle? What do you think?