Dating A Baller: 101
By Guest Blogger Toi
Dating a baller exposes you to a wide world of situations and experiences.
You get access to things that most people don’t get to experience. It elevates you to a certain degree. But if you’ve never experienced the lifestyle before, how do you act once you get there?
I’m not going to give you advice on always being available to your baller, or catering to his every whim. There is nothing wrong with pleasing your partner, but it should be balanced with distance. He’s on the move, so you have to know how to deal with having space in a relationship. You must cultivate the time you’re with him so that the space doesn’t impact the relationship. Here are some tidbits of advice:
1. A pretty face and a nice figure can attract a baller. But you have to be mentally stimulating to keep the attraction strong. Have something to talk about. Be aware of current events. Stay on top of trends. Know what he is interested in so you can have intelligent conversation with him about it, creating a bond between you.
2. Speaking of pretty faces and nice figures, make sure you are presentable at all times. You will be arm candy and you have to look the part. Don’t wear makeup to bed, but you need to be well groomed even when dressed down.
3. Be chill, have a sense of humor. Some women are so uptight, trying too hard to fit the mold of what they think their man wants them to be like. He will be more attracted to you if you are yourself. Men know when women are being fake and trying too hard, and it turns them off. Would you want to be with someone you can’t be yourself with?
4. Take something from those experiences that being with a baller opens you up to. A good baller will respect your savvy. Kimora Lee Simmons married Russell Simmons, the godfather of hip hop at age 18. Instead of settling for being a pampered housewife, she created Baby Phat and turned it into one of the most memorable lifestyle brands in fashion and hip hop culture. She took what she learned from Russell and made it into her own legacy.
5. Don’t be so transparent. Retain some of your mystery. When a person knows every detail about you, what else is there to know? Create intrigue. Give a little, hold back a little. Listen more than you talk. You would be surprised how much a man will open up to you.
6. Show him your independence without being emasculating. Do things out of the ordinary, and tell him about it. This doesn’t have to be extreme. It can be as simple as telling him about that amazing Korean barbeque place where you and your friends dined or skipping town and going on a road trip to a city you’ve always wanted to visit. Create experiences so you have great stories to tell. He will be intrigued by your spontaneity.
7. Don’t ask for money too soon. Establish the relationship with him, get to know him before raiding his wallet. If you are just looking for cash you should find a sugar daddy. If you are really into him, think long term benefit, not short term gain.
To date a baller, you need to be fun, interesting, and as drama free as possible. Being with you must be a place of solace for him rather than a source of stress. These men are highly sought after, but only a few women have the guts to get the glory. Know the rules before you jump in the race!
Toi Duckworth is a sophisticated b-girl from Los Angeles who dishes on urban lifestyle topics via her blog, http://hiphopmuse.com.
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