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The Virgin Monologues: Court Me

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An alphanista knows there’s more than one way to win…especially when the “old way” hasn’t done much for ‘ya….

By Guest Blogger, Gladys Wilson (ohthesweet)

Courting has been around for all time and some people have embraced, while others have shunned it.

Practicing Christians embrace courting as a way to develop a relationship with the opposite sex and remain with in the guidelines set by God. The main goal of courting is to see if your partner is the right one for you to marry. That is the sole goal. People who court do not date.

I feel that anybody, Christian or not can decide to court. Courting is a way of forming a relationship that can heal old wounds or keep your heart from being shredded to pieces. The number one rule of courting is no sex. No sex of any kind.

However, courting is more than not having a sexual relationship with a person. It is deeper than that. It is seeing the person for who they truly are, without the cloudiness and emotions that come along with a sexually involved relationship. When you court someone, you become their friend and they become yours. If the person is compatible with you, then you create a deep bond, which will last a lifetime.

Six ways to ensure your courting relationship is successful:

1 Make sure that courting is right for you. Have to believe in it, have self control and be disciplined.

2 Tell your intended partner about your goals up front. For example, explain to them your intentions of courting.

3 Chose to visit with each other in open setting or by doing character building activities.

4 Dress modestly, to avoid giving off the wrong message. You can wear clothes that are flattering to your figure without it saying Motel 6.

5 Get to know each others families, and friends that will tell you a lot about your partner.

6 Always be fully aware of your partners faith based beliefs and how those beliefs play out in their lives.

Courting is fun and although it is not emotion free, you can end a courting relationship on mutual agreement, because both you and your partner will be fully aware of your feelings or lack thereof towards each other. Yes, your heart will ache a little, but it will not break in several tiny pieces.

To find out more about our guest blogger, please go to http://ohthesweetpromise.wordpress.com/.

8 COMMENTS

  • Gladys

    @BBTT Shout the good news!!!

  • BlackWomenBlowTheTrumpet

    Hello there!

    I absolutely agree with this!!

    I am so glad that this discussion is expanding in the blogosphere!

    May I just say: CELIBACY IS POWER!!

    Yessss.

  • Gladys

    LucyLui thank you for the idea of the revolution. i will be thinking about it and get back to you.

  • Gladys

    Zabeth and LucyLui you are both right.

    Women are in a sad state right now and it is because we are using our sexuality in the wrong way. Just because you can sleep with a lillion men does not mean you are liberated and strong. It just means you are loose.

    The whole thing doesn’t make any since we expect men to respect us in the work place, at school, other institutions, but yet and still we will trade our body for a good date, or a gift or a few weeks relationship.

    CONSISTENCY LADIES!!!!

    The revoluntion should start right in our pants. Make sure no one who hasn’t officially made a commitment to you does not take away your very soul. The bigger revolution starts when the few of us who believe in the REAL Stong liberated woman speak up and shout it out when ever we get a chance.

  • LucyLui

    Zabeth I agree! But I do not think women are that united to make it happen because everyone is soooo concerned about what men think about them if they only knew we emasculate men the easier we make things for them. I am down whenever the revolution starts!

  • Zabeth

    I’m a bit more traditional myself and, when I was 21 I thought something like this would never work.

    What I’ve begun to believe is that women today have forgotten that they have power in relationships, have allowed roles to be reversed in realtionships, and have let men dictate the terms of the relationship to them when it should be the other way around. This is why women and relationships are in the sad state that they currently are in. I mean what we’re doing right now (essentially giving up the milk all the while expecting the man to still want to buy the cow) really ISN’T working. I think we as women are going to have to learn to walk the fine line of reconciling our women’s movement notions with more traditional relationship leanings. I may have to do a blog about this.

    And I will say, that something like this would work well in practice as long as ALL women followed it. Can that actually happen?

  • Nikki

    @Jodi do you think so low of yourself that a man couldn’t wait or want to court you? You’re example of what’s wrong with women and their self esteem today. Sorry but true.

  • Jodi

    This would be great in a perfect world! Let’s get real.

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