Confidence: Real or Perceived

Lady Gaga

By Guest Blogger Amyrae

Big hair, high heels, red lipstick or a sexy strut…

Each of these could be indicative of a strong confident woman, or they could simply be the masks hiding the withering being within. Confidence is something to be admired and embraced, and kudos to those who possess it, but the problems with faking it are many.

For starters, when a woman is perceived to be bold and beautiful, a man can sometimes feel intimidated, or even assume that she is out of his league.  To the true alpha female this is just fine because it weeds out those who wouldn’t measure up anyway.  But, for all of those wannabees sporting a façade of assurance, be aware of the men who pass you by.  If the attention you get from your outward appearance often leads to inner turmoil and awkward feelings of inadequacy it’s time to wake up and take a good look in the mirror.  It’s time to see for once what it is that other people see in you and open yourself up to acceptance. I’m not denying that every woman out there, or every woman that I’ve ever made aquaintance with anyway, has moments of insecurity, of course they do, but it’s important to learn to move beyond the moment and look at the bigger picture.

I’ll use myself as an example here.  I’ve always been confident and comfortable with who I am, it’s what drives me to be a good person.  I never want to have to look in a mirror and be disappointed with myself.  Here in NYC I have surrounded myself with fabulous friends, who also happen to be alphanistas, whether they know it or not, and all of them are beautiful!  I mean like drop dead gorgeous.  I was at a gathering not too long ago and had a moment of insecurity as I looked around the room in awe of how amazing these women were.  How could I possibly measure up?  Thankfully, stepping back to look at the bigger picture and my reflection in the mirror I was able to see that each of us were amazing in our own exceptional way.  I may not be the most beautiful girl in the room, but I know that what I have to offer is unique.

For the alphanista, exuding confidence is what comes naturally, and others around her feed off that energy, which is why she is often the center of attention.  Alpha males especially will pick up on that energy and seek out the source for their own feeding session.  Again, the problem here when the woman can’t back up the persona, she is left standing in front of an attentive man, unwilling or unable to deliver.

Snap out of it ladies, if you want the confidence to be real, you need to believe in yourself and all you have to offer.  Stop pretending to be bold, strut that stuff and rock that hair, be audacious for once and see where it takes you.

Amyrae is in Brooklyn, NY and an aspiring writer, humanitarian, world traveler, and philanthropist living and loving life one day at a time, checking things off of her ever expanding TO DO list.


  1. Reminds me of a quote that my Patron Saint Josephine baker once said about herself.

    “Beautiful? It’s all a question of luck. I was born with good legs. As for the rest… beautiful -NO! Amusing – YES. “

  2. ThatOne says:

    These are good points. So much is about perception because that Lady Gaga is not pretty but she seems like a confident person. Perception is everything reality is mute!

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