Comments on: Celibacy: Alphanista Style

By: T. Lynn Lloyd

T. Lynn Lloyd — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 00:05:00 +0000

Thanks for this, Wendy, and for coming out of the celibacy closet. I’m in it too, and its also self imposed. For a while I was really “un-celibate” so when it comes to sex now, I’m kinda like “I gave at the office.” And women sometimes give up the p*ssy because we want intimacy and love, not the physical kind. So I’m saving up for something really good. It’s been more than a year and I don’t even miss it, or the drama that it usually brings. Stay strong!

By: Wendy Coakley-Thompson

Wendy Coakley-Thompson — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 04:58:50 +0000

Ladies, it is great to be in such good company! Much love to you all.

By: Salena

Salena — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 20:58:43 +0000

Great post! Good to know that I’m not the only one meeting men who just makes you want to forget about finding the one and focus on yourself. It’s so much more rewarding, and the results is a better you, with a lot more to offer. Like the writer said “a fine wine”.

By: Nana

Nana — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 19:40:58 +0000

Welcome to the club, Wendy. I’ve been celibate for around four years. Sex, for me, is like lobster: I love it, remember the taste but it’s not a part of my daily life anymore because I can’t afford it. And I can’t afford to deal with the confusion of sex in my life.
I’m a Libra so I fall hard, love hard and did some crazy shit to hang on to the feeling because of how it felt to me. Fell into some non-reciprocal brothers and that cured me.
Found other things to think about, other things to do and ended up falling back in love with me, a feeling I highly recommend to any woman who thinks she needs a man to feel worthy.
It’s not a narcissistic love, it’s a I-want-you-to-love-me-like-I-love-me kind of love. I’ve restored my “gift status:” I’m too special to be given to just anyone.
They call it celibacy. I call it concentrating on a self-sufficient love. And toys? That’s for kids and I’m perimenopausal. When God sends me a man who can give love (not sex) as good as he gets, I’ll consider rearranging my dust. Until then…

By: EbonyLolita

EbonyLolita — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 19:13:12 +0000

Wendy happy to see you’ve joined the Celibate club. We hold meetings every Friday night & serve Champagne w/cupcakes. LOL :O Good article, I have to agree that I’m a member of this club by default and have used the time on self improvement Holding out for greatness while working on yourself is such an empowering feeling. Enjoy it as I will

Love, EbonyLolita

By: Jo

Jo — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 17:01:38 +0000

Wendy is such a great writer. Good read

By: Amoye

Amoye — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 15:48:43 +0000

I’ve honestly been considering taking this step. There have been times where I have withheld myself from sex for months and months. The longest I’ve went (in recent history) was probably 5 months. I’d like to say sex is only as major as we women make it. When you’re in a relationship, it’s probably a ritual activity, however when you’re single it probably comes up when you watch a steamy show/movie, allow yourself to be romanced by a cute guy, or just by really obsessing over and wanting it because you spend so much time listening to your girlfriend’s fabolous sex life! LOL, I’m just curious to know, how long you’ve been celibate? Also, when you get the urges, how do you surpress them? Are you currently dating someone? If so, how does he/she handle your decision to refrain from sexual activity? And my final question, do you ever feel the need to utilize toys to stimulate those womanly needs? LOL. I’m really considering joining the cobweb crew myself, I just want to be aware so I can prepare myself for what I’m going into.

Thank you.

PS You’re an awesome writer.