Celibacy: Alphanista Style
By Guest Blogger Wendy Coakley-Thompson
It feels weird to come right out and say it.
For two reasons.
First of all, talking publically about my v-jay-jay is not something I do on the regular. I try to maintain some mystery about myself. Second of all, saying it is strange, because usually, people who utter the words “I’m celibate” are trying to make some kind of a point. Not me. The only point I’m making is that I haven’t had sex in a long time. Society calls people like that celibate. My luck of the linguistic draw.
Celibacy is something that I kind of tripped and fell into. Like pretty much all of you, my milkshake brought any and all manner of guys to the yard: the emotionally bankrupt guy, the seductive withholding guy, the I’m-really-straight-I-just-like-show-tunes guy, as well as the tadpole, the fossil, the NQD (“not-quite-divorced”), and various and sundry combinations of all of the above. Playing “How Unavailable
Are You?” got really old…really fast.
As I became a fine wine, I grew more discerning. Gradually, the list of guys that I’d let insert Tab A into Slot B got shorter and shorter.
Slowly, navigating that aspect of the single life took a back burner to more meaningful pursuits. Gloria Steinem once said that energy not expended on sex gets channeled into other things. I’m shocked to admit that she’s right. Time not spent under a man morphed into days passed writing books and articles…mentoring authors…nurturing quality relationships with relatives and friends…managing the chronic ailments of an aging yellow Labrador retriever. The fruits of that labor became the true measure of this single woman’s worth. One day, I realized that I’d need to take off my shoes in order to count the number of months that had passed since I had sex. Some days, I wonder if
I’d even be able to pick a penis out a lineup!
So, ladies, that’s how I became – for want of a better word – celibate. But please…don’t cry for me, Alphanistas. I’m getting a lot done. I’m just not doing it horizontally.
Author Wendy Coakley-Thompson is the DC Publishing Industry Examiner at Examiner.com. Check her out at http://www.examiner.com/x-6658-DC-Publishing-Industry-Examiner.