Category: Inspiration

The Beauty Of Spanish Moss

When I was in SC, I fell in love with Spanish Moss on big, sturdy trees.  But this was the same moss I lived among in South Florida and never gave it a second thought.  You can find Spanish moss on cypress, oak, magnolia trees, etc.

Here’s how it got its name:

“…from a tale about an 18th-century couple — a man and his Spanish fiancé — who, searching for a place to build a plantation near Charleston, South Carolina, were attacked by Cherokees. After killing the couple, the Cherokees cut off the Spanish woman’s long, black tresses and tossed them onto the branch of a live oak, where they turned gray and spread across the Southeast….”

They are wide and mysterious with long, hanging branches.  For some they may be an ugly or a “spooky” tree, but for me it represents a lot more.  To me, it is power and trust.  It represents those who may not be or act like the others, who appreciate being “different”, or who have not yet seen their own true beauty.  The Spanish moss tree is for you.

Enjoy and Happy New Year.


How To Be An Alpha Female: The Broke Alphanista

You do exist.

As beautiful, smart, and enterprising as you are, shit happens.

Because of some ill fated decisions, consequences, health issues, or too many of the right risks at the wrong time, you are cooked like a goose.  The funds you saved are gone, and you don’t have a back-up plan this time.  What do you do?  The Broke Alphanista knows that life only reflects back to her where she is.  If you notice that everyone around you is broke, that is a cue that subliminally or unconsciously you’ve picked up some bad habits.  You’ve sabotaged yourself.  You sabotage yourself not by being broke but by staying in the situation.  When you are broke, that is one of the best times to become financially independent.  It is the best time to take risks, what do you have to lose?  You sabotage yourself, by staying stuck and developing a broke mentality.

A broke mentality is one of lack, little risk, and built around scarcity.  There is never enough to go around for the broke mentality.  Here are more symptoms:

–you want to be first in line everywhere, in case “something” runs out, and silently hiss at that woman who strolls in an hour later and gets it without an issue

–you think any “good thing” doesn’t last, and it doesn’t for you because you fulfilled your own prophecy

–you penny pinch until it hurts talking yourself out of opportunities and purchases that may actually help you

–you always expect bad service at a restaurant

Anyone can be “broke”, but a “broke mentality” becomes a new habit and way of thinking, where everything good seems to dance away.  You realize this and begin to build a mental fortress and support to protect you from living among the 90% so that you may find your place among the talented 10%.

Read more in this series.

Help Me Reach My Goal!

Everyone who reads this probably knows someone who has been touched by breast cancer. Some with survival stories and some with tragic loss. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we had a CURE??

October is Breast Cancer Awareness month and Alphanista has partnered with Stella & Dot to help make a difference. If I can sell 70 Stella & Dot Tribute Bracelets through my website by the end of the month, Stella & Dot will donate over $500 to The Breast Cancer Research Foundation. Can you imagine if all of our thousands of stylists were able to reach this goal, the difference we could collectively make!?

At just $36, our Tribute Bracelet is a perfect way to honor or remember someone you know who has battled breast cancer and give to a VERY worthy cause. It comes beautifully gift boxed and is such a beautiful rose gold bracelet (a huge fall trend this season!). The rose gold pave bar anchors on a delicate band of faceted hematite beads, adds subtle sparkle to any layered wrist. A great gift for your mother, sister, grandmother, daughter, best friend …

Thank you in advance for your support and for sharing this with others to help raise the money that will one day help us to find a cure for breast cancer.

To purchase yours today, just CLICK HERE! **You can always purchase more than 1, to give as gifts, and your shipping will still be the SAME low rate

Please select ‘Breast Cancer’ as your hostess at checkout for reduced shipping and you will be entered into a random drawing to earn up to 25% of the sales from this fundraiser in the jewelry of your choice! (if we reach the goal, the winner will receive over $625 in free jewelry! If we exceed, it goes higher!) Do something good and you may just get something good in return!

Thank you in advance for your support! Please feel free to contact me if I can help you with the order or if you have any questions!  Also, please forward to anyone who’d love this bracelet and want to help make a difference, too!!


Stylist, Stella & Dot
212 946 5164
email me

My Enchanted, Alpha “Detox” In Belize

This must have been the most perfect vacation I have ever experienced during one of the most difficult times of my life.

I was at a point where I needed answers.  I was putting out energy when I wasn’t getting any back.  I was depleting myself, growing tired and weary.  I also wanted to “detox” from all the stress and stagnant energy.  I looked to meditation after a very dear spiritual friend, reminded me to go back within, a place I am very comfortable being.   I started to get scenes of water and me underwater completely safe and nurtured.  It gave me a feeling of protection.  But I didn’t pay it much mind.  I could barely swim in more than 5 feet of water (or so I thought, funny the limits we put on ourselves!).

I had never had an urge to scuba dive and the last time I snorkeled in Acapulco I almost panicked.   Soon after, I got a strange email about a scuba diving trip in The Maldives.  This is proof that you shouldn’t cancel all those junk emails.   I clicked on it and called out of curiosity and they told me it is only for certified divers.  That little bit of info began my journey.  I only get more determined when I am denied anything.

My bday was a few months away and I knew I didn’t want to go into it feeling like I was.  My intuitive self needed to be fed and let out to play.  When your intuition is in charge your life opens up.  And it wasn’t going to be on a trip where I am lounging on the beach with a cocktail or strolling the streets of a foreign country ( looking in windows and cafes) wishing I was with someone.  Boo!

I made the goal of getting my scuba diving certification the center of my trip.  It gave me something to start and complete.   I checked out spots from Thailand to Honduras.  Growing frustrated, I was going to settle on the Florida Keys.  But something pushed me further out of my comfort zone, and I kept searching for the “perfect” place.  My decisions lately have been off course (at least that is what our ego tells us), so I was like, damn, am I just gonna make another bad decision here?  So, I stopped looking.

Then, I started to meet people who told me I needed a vacation.  I was like, how do they know?  This was something I knew all along, but fear was about to sabotage another idea.  I finally chose Belize.  It wasn’t a place I fantasized about, but all my scuba dive searches were mentioning it as the best place for a newbie to be certified.  Belize was also an exotic place, still pure from commercialism, still authentic, almost mysterious.  I chose simple accommodations (I will give info later) with bed and bathroom.  I wanted a place where I can meet others over breakfast of hot, handmade johnny cakes and hearty eggs and black beans.  And small enough that if I disappeared folks would know.  Where I stayed only had six rooms!

Oh, and I never thought of asking anyone to come.  The last thing I needed was someone to deal with.

I packed lightly and practically to take care of myself.

I wanted this trip to be full of adventure and activity.  Keep me on my toes.  Push me.  Scare me.  Free me.

(Stay tuned for Part II to this series.  Check out my pics on Facebook)

Give It Some Head Action


Some days I wake up so clear thinking and focused, it’s refreshing.

I have solutions to problems and I know for sure what to do!  We always think of those moments like “lightbulb” or “aha” moments.  But your brain or your subsconscious mind, depends how you look at it, is working for you to fix the issue.  Even when you forget about it.

A few of us got together this weekend and we did an experiment.  Before you go to bed, visualize or look at beautiful homes.  See the rooms online.  Picture yourself there!  When you finally fall asleep, if a home is what you want, you’ll wake up with new clues.  I did.  Two of us did.  New ways to make our desires happen.  It may not happen the next day, but it will.  You’ll know when to take the job offer, leave a relationship, cash out of that deal, etc as clear as day.

Your only job is to recognize the light!  Check out this video on how it all works.

Is It Really Important To Find Your Life’s Purpose?


Uhm, not so much.

I can’t stand those books about life purpose this and that. They make it all hard. Millions of folks have lived in this world peaceful, happy, and paid without a life purpose! Why do I need to spend all my good, fine years searching for what’s really searching for me? Think about it. Your life’s purpose is a journey, unless you have been singing since you were 3 years old, your life purpose is not gonna pop out from the closet in a thong and frills and scream “Here I am!”

Right now it’s time to make money and experiment with life and it ain’t only for college students. For me I can explore so many things. It’s ridiculous. I can create and dissipate. You know? I can open and close. I move on. I’m a visionary. I do what I do. But I don’t do it one way. I can be happy with a string of successful lingerie shops to a string of laundry mats. As long as thekeep the checks coming in. Then I can accomplish my real desire–philanthropy. Make now, give later.

We, at Alphanista, get emails all the time from women whining about being broke and destitute and their dream is this and that, and they can’t eat, and they can’t swim, yada yada.

If you are looking for your life’s purpose and eating out of a cereal box everynight, you need to purpose yourself into making some dollars and sense. Alpha females don’t get there like everybody else, and to be honest they are not all living their life’s purpose and riding unicorns into the sunset. It’s about a plan that takes years and has many different routes, each she is not afraid to deploy.

36 Life Lessons in 36 Years

Almost a month after my birthday, I finally caught up to thinking about its significance.

I can’t say I know everything, I need to know. But I can say I have learned.  When I sat down to write this, I felt old.  36 things?  That’s alot.  Like blowing out 36 candles.  Takes time.  I didn’t feel old in age because I look 10 years younger.  At least!  No self deprecation here.  It’s so American.  If you travel, you know that most non-American women are very proud of their ages.  But back to this.   I know there are at least 50 more lessons to add to this list, in another 50 years.  I suggest you try this with your age and what you have learned.  Every one of these is something I learned, am practicing or will get there.  Will get there.  (by the way, there are some repeats, just keep reading)

1. Sometimes you need a new dream.

2. Your best friends are the ones you met when you were younger, lost and found each other again.  School friends knew you before you knew yourself.

3.  Good friends are friends you meet as adults, it takes longer to get acquainted, maybe years, but both worlds finally come together to go from associate-ships to friend-ships.

4.  Tradition is good.  It tells everyone where they need to stand.

5. Mothers are always right. Always.

6.  There are days when you should just stay in bed, call in sick, or just drink yourself sleepy.

7.  When things get hard and stressful, wait. Wait.

8.   I don’t have to like anyone.

9.  Let things develop.  Stop orchestrating every step.

10.  If you don’t have a job, create one.

11.  Nobody is going to love you more than you love yourself.

12.  A healthy meal even once a week makes you feel prettier.

13.  Everybody needs a dream, even if they keep it to themselves.

14.  Not every baby is cute.

15.  You are living somebody’s  dream.

16.  Cheaters can reform.  Redemption does not discriminate.

17.  Food is a great companion when mixed with a little salad now and again.  Balance.

18.  Feminism is policy.  It is not about “being” a woman.

19.  It’s okay not to be liked.  It really is.

20.  Love and hate are indeed the same.  I didn’t understand that until a few months ago.  Takes as much energy to love someone as to hate them and requires the same kind of focus and attention.  But what is real is indifference.  You don’t care at all lives or dies.

21.  Anybody good would want to be a part of your world.  Anybody bad will want to shut it down.

22.  Depression can be a cure.

23.  Intimacy is valuable to any relationship, without it, there is no connection.

24.  Sex is overrated.  Yes, it is.  Lie to yourself.

25.  Intimacy is not sex, it is communicating with no barriers and listening with your heart.

26.  You need at least one subversive act in life.  Something you will never do again, and never tell anyone.

27.  It is who you know.

28.  I like people who like money because I like money.

29.  Every job I ever had prepared me for this moment, and moments to come.

30.  From now on, I will only accept financial gifts.  Not cash.  Annuities,dividends, CDs, stocks, mutual funds, etc.  No matter how small.  They tend to grow and last longer than any “present”.

31.  If you don’t have a job you can create one.

32.  When things get hard and stressful, wait.  Wait.

33.  Crying is good.

34. Always expect the best.  Don’t hope.

35.  It’s okay to tell the chef you are dissatisfied.  I find they are usually happy to help and will give a couple of lobster tails to make up for it.

36.  Walk in the door like you are there to collect the rent.  Act as if you belong, then you will.

How I Got More Than A T-Shirt In Belize-Part II

So much traffic! LOL

Many of you asked me about what I got from Belize.  Here’s a couple of things:


When we started my confined dives in the pool, my scuba instructor told me to swim some laps to test my swimming skills.  I was like, how far?  He said over to the 7 feet side.  My heart dipped.  But something took over.  I put on my fins and snorkel and did it.  After a minute, I couldn’t believe myself.  My body completely got in gear.  I didn’t sink, like my mind was telling me would happen!  I swam!


Scuba Diving was everything I imagined.  On my first dive, I had to do some test tasks under water, but hearing myself breathe was comforting.  Fish and sharks, yes, sharks followed me and my instructor.  It was like being one with every living thing in the water.  I mean, some fish were so close in my face, I had to duck.  That was fun.  I thought I would panic at the feeling of being “trapped” under water or claustrophobic.  These were things I told myself based on past experiences. But, I felt powerful, that I could do anything.  I was at rest in another world.  Dreaming.



I climbed one of the Mayan ruins and it was like hundreds of feet in the air.  I had always known I was scared of heights.  But not how much.  If you have vertigo, then you know that overwhelming feeling that comes over you up high.  That means I have to scrawl or support my back against a wall.  I didn’t crawl, but I supported my back when I was at the top.  I took deep breaths.  I stayed with the fear and controlled my thoughts.   And I couldn’t get down fast enough!



If you are a reasonably intelligent woman you will be treated so good anywhere you travel.  People wanted to take care of me.  They opened their doors for me, waited for my returns, served me with kindness, and let me into their lives and thoughts.  I felt like a star at times.  One night I was at a bar, and it was filled with couples.  I pulled up a chair and the bartender said, “dessert again?”  And we laughed.   I was there before, same seat and ended up chatting with another  woman whose husband was in a decompression chamber, and a couple.  It was easy, breezy.  He hooked me up.   There, eating my dessert, licking my fingers and all, enjoying the sea breeze, several people’s eyes followed my every move, a few had kind comments at my decadent plate.  And you know what, it felt so good.   Not critical eyes, but curious eyes.  After I was done, after taking my sweet time enjoying my fried bananas dessert with coconut ice cream and browsing a magazine, I said my goodbyes.  “I’ll be back tomorrow night, same place, same time”, and put my drink down with a confident thud.  Everyone just turned to watch me and waved. Walk in the world like you belong.



My body was there for me.  It withstood the risks.  With diets, rigid exercise, and unhealthy practices we demand all the wrong things from our bodies.  But it is an iron horse.  Complete as it is RIGHT NOW.  It just opened up my spirit for more adventure.  My soul, skin, hair, nails and body flourished in the sun.  I was already looking good, but dropped several inches.  This was me all the way.



Don’t wait for answers to your problems. The only answers you’ll get will reflect that desperate energy you are putting out.   The only way to fix your problems is to leave them alone.  Live in the moment.  I’m back now, and still don’t have the answers, but I don’t care as much.  I know I will be taken care of.  I am doing my part and that is living my life to the fullest.  The best things that have happened to me were unplanned.  My intuition has never let me down, only when I ignore it do I get stuck.  Ain’t that the truth!  I didn’t plan this vacation a year in advance. I didn’t save months and months.  I simply did what I did.  I conceived.  I thought about it, and the means presented themselves.  Deep thinkers, out there know.  Alpha females know.  We hardly ever plan, and if we find ourselves getting obsessive with plotting, it means we need to slow down.  We are known for taking chances.



My trip was seamless.  Just flowed.  When I was coming back home, I felt some anxiety with the checks and all that airport stuff. It’s just natural and airports hold that kind of energy like hospitals.  So, it’s no surprise to fall for it even if you have no worries.   There were several times when I saw “mean” looking agents, not talking to folks or giving eye contact. Just grabbing passports and not looking up.  But when I approached, I was lucky to get their “happier” side.  Several of them welcomed me back to America, and it felt good!  One was like “Welcome Back! I hope you had a great trip!”  It was a great way to return home despite all the airport drama we hear on the news.  And one TSA agent hugged me!  Yaaass!  Some laughed with me, everything.  And it wasn’t like I was chatting them up first, our paths just crossed.  It’s like the more energy you have to give the more you receive back.  Good energy.  If you don’t experience good people, you’re not radiating.   Fortunately, you can change that.



This trip was enchanted.  I felt completely free, confident and owned every step I took.  I saw many couples and I didn’t envy them.  I know what that’s like. I saw other single people and I didn’t want to be with them. I know what that’s like too.  I just loved my own skin.  I couldn’t think of a cooler person to be with.  I was completely WHOLE on this vacay.  I didn’t question things or feel timid or out of place.  Completely whole.  Not good, not bad.  WHOLE.



–I met wonderful people.  Some I cared to know more than others.  People were always asking me how it’s going, how am I enjoying this and that.  I chose a great location to stay, Changes in Latitudes.  A paradise within a paradise.  Bare bones, clean, and soulful.

–I learned that I require lots of natural energy–home cooked food, water, breeze, outdoors.  I easily absorb the energy of others and places.  I need sustenance and new experiences to “detox” myself.  Get out there and live.  No one I met on my trip had a Facebook profile lol.  Enjoy the world.

I will end this series with some tips that you can plan your own “detox” trip.  Check out pics.