Category: Books

Alpha Read: It’s Not A Sin To Be Single

Greetings Sisters Of the Sublime Life!

I do hope you’ve enjoyed the latest offerings on As a the Senior Writer for and an inspirational writer and Relationship Coach, I aim to help you cultivate your dream life. In addition to more than 200 original articles, videos and eBooks I am proud to offer my very first print book. Just in time for Valentines Day, my latest book is called It’s Not A Sin To Be Single.

It’s Not A Sin To Be Single tackles the following questions:

Why is there so much pressure to be married?

What can I say to people when they ask me why I’m still single?

How do I satisfy my sexual desires as a single person?

How can I change the way I view my position as a single parent?

How can I learn to love myself as I am?

Are there any benefits to being single?

Why am I so miserable?

Will I ever get over the demise of my last relationship?

Is it okay to dream about having my ideal relationship?

There is nothing wrong with you.

That’s right, you read correctly. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Being single is not a punishment. You didn’t do anything wrong. You are exactly where you are supposed to be at this moment. This moment is necessary. The only thing holding you back is the fact that you haven’t discovered why who you are right now, is exactly who you need to be. – Te-Erika Patterson

You can order online by visiting my online store. Shipping takes just 3-5 days.

I do hope this book blesses you.

Alpha Reads: Doctors: Bound By Secrecy? Victims Bound By Pain

Endometriosis is a chronic condition that affects the lives of millions of women.

It can get in the way of everyday living and steal happiness.  Doctors: Bound By Secrecy? Victims: Bound by Pain? by Karen Steward reveals the truth about what is behind this disease.  It centers around a mother committed to finding healing for ailing daughter, a sufferer of the condition.  The book takes them to Germany and the ups and down trials toward the path of healing.  I found the book inspirational, as it can give hope to many women who do not know where to turn, who may be frustrated with American doctors, who have had just about enough pain in their lives.  This book also taught me about the bond between mother and daughter and how love can heal and provide the answers we have always sought.

Doctors: Bound By Secrecy? Victims: Bound by Pain? is not only a book full of facts and finds, but it is also a great story from beginning to end.  This book belongs in the hands of anyone affected by endometriosis and adhesions, anyone whose loved one is affected, and anyone curious about unconventional approaches to treatment.

Love Is The Last Thing You Need…

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You can say that again…

Why does society applaud a girl who falls for a guy’s “big blue eyes” yet denounces one who chooses a man with a “big green bankroll”?

That’s how the description on Amazon begins for Smart Girls Marry Money: How Women Have Been Duped Into The Romantic Dream and How They’re Paying For It and I love it.

The authors Elizabeth Ford and Dr. Daniela Drake are talking about something women hate on each other for, and men want us to forget–money. What’s more economical?  Falling in love with the bus boy and there are no demands on big dreams and the big life or a young hottie marrying her sugar daddy for better or worse? Neither is right or wrong, but only one wins. In an interview with AOL Ford says:

No one ever says that a man is a beauty-digger because he wants a beautiful girl. Even though women are in the workforce at record numbers, we’re not making the money that men are making. Men are making three times more money over their lifetime than women are. So why isn’t it valuable for a beautiful woman to look out for her security at the end of her life? Of women who are alone at retirement age, one in five end up at the poverty level. So we realized, “Whoa, what’s a girl to do?”

If a woman is going to go this route, she has to start young at 16, attending networking events at her school, local college, researching the young boys with promise who are going the Ivy League or celebrity athlete route. This way she can raise her chances (not guarantee!) to be married by 30 to a wealthy man. But at 16, a girl has to be in another whole level than her peers to do that. With that said, I wonder if the advice these authors are giving is in vain, preaching to the choir sort of stuff.  Most women have already missed the boat on this one.

But I like this line: Earning power is afterall a reflection of his character and value. Big, blue yes? Not so much. Ha, true in its most literal sense.

What I would have liked to hear more about is this post-feminist slant that suggests women have lost it all because of feminism. I’ve always agreed women had been duped into believing feminist banter would save them from lonely, isolated lives and being seen as only sex objects. Ring the alarm. Uhm, it’s actually worse now, but the debate is that women now have a “choice”. Yeah, ok.

But I digress. Smart Girls Marry Money doesn’t go far enough for me.   What it really wants to say is women are the authors of their own demise, have been fooled, and their eggs are paying for it.  Let’s move beyond calling women who marry money as gold-diggers. It’s a word used by broke women to hold other women back, like the word  “desperate”.

Doesn’t push enough buttons, but it’s a nice hustle.


Weekend Read: Get Your Arse Together….Again.

Besides my own books, I read other books when I have the time. But lately, I have definitely been dragging myself around not as productive as I could be.  Especially these days with the world in such influx. That’s when I know I need a good read to feel safe and protected again, or uhm, some nice big man thighs in the bed, whatever.  Once I get my fix, I am good.  This new book, Awaken Your Strongest Self: Break Free of Stress, Inner Conflict, and Self Sabotage by Neil Fiore.  It’s really like nothing else I’ve read so far.  It’s what Alphanista™ is about–awakening the alpha-self, the leader in you, to manage your life.  The book touches on feeling disconnected or overwhelmed with our lives or feeling like we are not living up to our self-concept and performing way below the bar.  What’s different is that it says “feel the pain of staying the same.”  Now, that is something new because every other book out there is about changing the pain, leaving it behind, burning it up with the old panties in the backyard.  This was about staying in the pain.  There was an exercise about envisioning your life if it were the same–same job, same feelings, same struggles, same doubts, for the next five years.  Most people wouldn’t be happy with that because they are about forward movement. 

It doesn’t talk about discipline if you mess up, but structure, and boy do I need structure.  The book is filled with excercises and after “feeling the pain” it takes you to “feel the benefits of change.”  But way before that it breaks it all down from how we need to gather all parts of ourselves–the manager, the dictator, the procastinator, the pessimist and have them work together because they all serve a purpose and it will defeat the feeling of lonely struggle.  Here’s something else that stood out for me and I am paraphrasing: “To reach your destination in life you must sail at an angle, tacking slightly away from your ultimate goal.”  Like sailors do because they are connected to the laws of nature.  “If you’re trying too hard, you’re turning against life.”  Yup, life ain’t supposed to be hard, if it’s hard, turn around and sail at an angle.  So if it seems like you are going the wrong way, it’s the right way.  Sometimes, we won’t get there with one big swoop, but with a fumble or two.

I have to keep reminding myself of these things.  The concepts in Awaken Your Strongest Self, and I have read many, are by far the best, especially if you are weary about all the hocus-pocus books out there about instant gratification.  This is good food for anyone hungry to be make 2009 that year when it all comes together, whatever it may be.  Unlike most folks, I like planning for ’09 now, not in ’09.  If anyone buys this book, please share your thoughts with me. Or if there’s one you recommend, suggest here.


When A Life Is Too Controlled…

“When a life is too controlled there becomes less and less life to control.”-Estes

I read this in a book I am still reading “Women Who Run With The Wolves” by Clarissa  Pinkola Estes.

It’s gonna take more than a few words to break down.  But really doing nothing is letting go of control.   It brings more into your life.  That’s the oxymoron.  Okay, so you do nothing, then nothing is supposed to happen, right?  But it’s the opposite.  A sort of vaccuum gets created where new experiences, some good and some bad are allowed to move through.

There’s also death in the figurative sense.  Being willing to accept death as process gives the opportunity to have new life.  Estes put it this way :  “As in sleep, the Life/Death/Life nature in its most wildish form is as simple as a graceful exhalation (ending) and inhalation (beginning). The only trust required is to know that when there is one ending there will be another beginning.” Most people don’t want to face endings and continue to run away from anything stressful or “not nice” and keep the face on that “all is good” because of some image they have drawn of themselves to others.   It is a jail.  If there are things in your life right now that just seem to slip through your fingers, you haven’t dealt with the Life/Death/Life nature.

Deep, huh?

Just going with it.  That’s what I’m doing.  Instead of running away from the endings, run towards, because there’s always light.

I don’t trust people who’ve experienced no pain or great loss.  I just don’t.

Check out Women Who Run With The Wolves in the Alphanista Shop.

Alphanista Reads: Midnight and the Meaning of Love

by Aminah Hanan

Sister Souljah takes us on a journey in the second installment, released early this month, to her prequel to The Coldest Winter Ever that spans two continents with one of our favorite Hot Boyz, Midnight.

The story opens up in the projects of the Bedford Stuyvesant neighborhood of Brooklyn, New York in the spring of 1986. Souljah’s storytelling paints a picture so vivid that you can almost hear the vinyl beat of Eric B. & Rakim’s Eric B. Is President playing in your head as you turn the pages.

A skilled warrior trained in the martial art of Ninjutsu Midnight must pool his financial and mental resources as he prepares to face his most vicious opponent Naoko Nakamura, his father-in-law. Nakamura, opposed to his daughter, Akemi’s, marriage to the Sudanese teenager, he has kidnapped her and taken her back home to Japan. Midnight is determined and will stop at nothing as he sets out on a quest to the Land of the Rising Sun, with love as his only weapon, to confront his father-in-law and bring his wife back to Brooklyn.

When I first met Midnight in the Coldest Winter Ever I was as fascinated by his character. What was his motivation? Could he be that disciplined surrounded by so much deception and deviation? Midnight is the ultimate dichotomy at its best. Proof of the old adage, never judge a book by its cover. He is a devout Sudanese Muslim and street hustler rolled into one. While reading the book I had to keep reminding myself that he was a young man who had not yet reached the age of twenty. Faced with having to deal with adult circumstances, as many teenagers often are, instead of making all wrong decisions most of the time Midnight walks the tightrope striking a balance between heaven and the hell that surrounds him.

Midnight and the Meaning of Love is a good read even if you have not had the pleasure of reading The Coldest Winter Ever or Midnight: A Gangster Love Story. The story stands alone peppered with memories from Midnight’s Sudanese homeland and his life with Akemi before she was kidnapped. Souljah has done her homework with this one, as evidenced in the advance copy of the book’s Acknowledgments. Traveling to four different countries she connects and weaves the cultures together seamlessly on American soil, the projects of Brooklyn her Ellis Island.

Aminah Hanan is an alpha female, blogger, book lover, blog conference Program Director, crafter, Health Care Professional, and writer who lives in Chicago with her family. Email her at

Alphanista Reads: The Punany Experience

by Sharelle D. Lowery

There is one unquestionable thing that I know about Alphanistas…we know how to put ourselves FIRST!…and in Jessica Holter’s surprisingly hot and steamy novel, “The Punany Experience” the women know how to go for theirs!

This book was a page-turning, sexy, original drama that titillates your mind, body and punany!  Several lives wrap up into one dramatic story and the power of the punany is used to command, wield and relinquish power personally and professionally.

Korea Smith, a savvy, smart and sexy Alphanista is followed from the time that she is 15 years old and moves from the ghettos of East Oakland to the post penthouses of Jack London Square weaving a web of juicy deliciousness all around her all while hiding a vicious secret that haunts her with each sexual encounter.  I nearly had my own personal punany experience on the train just imagining some of the Alpha female situations that Korea, her sexy sidekick Stormy and a host of other men and women get into at the end of this Punany Poets erotic pen!

While many erotic novels lack a strong storyline and possess  sex in unrealistic and unnecessary places and amounts, Jessica Holter’s awesome ebb and flow is an indication of her magnificent gift for storytelling.  Like her characters, she got it just right. I know that that while this may be her first novel (though not her first book) that it certainly will NOT be her last!

Cold Shower….Check!

Sharelle D. Lowery, also known as CarmelBarbie is a Northern California Socialite, writer and Official BeautyGirl.


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