This post has more to do with someone else’s thoughts rather than mine. Recently, I wrote a blog for Zabeth’s Corner called Why Are 70% of Black Women Single? I received an email that stood out from the stack I receive every week. This was a perspective I just recently began to consider. For instance:
Is there any link to black mothers and how they impact their daughter(s) growth as young women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s and older? It seems a lot of black women are single because so many of them get that speech as young girls that if they wait for the perfect black man everything will be ok. Yet many black women are waiting for years while going through one deadbeat relationship after another with no real prospect of finding a suitable mate….
This is not blaming black men for a change, but looking at the women, mothers. Because if you look at it, this whole thing of black woman singlehood started happening just around the time when the rate of female headed households rose, meaning more time women spend with children. Here’s more:
It seems that many black mothers are often setting high and even unrealistic expectations for their daughters and even further more ridiculing and criticizing her from her choice of career to even her choice of mate(good and bad). This explains why many black women are often despondent to their lives with little desire for things when they’re being told by their own mothers about how God will make a way for them and when this is being told over and over for years to the point that many are seeing how much of their lives are lost as a result of their mother’s “advice”. There’s that constant struggle for young black women to be independent, but when they have to deal with their mother’s ridiculing and often critical comments about her it’s also a battle of building what’s being slowly torn down…
The email goes on to question: are black women often the targets of their mother’s negative and sometimes abusive ways?
And before you start typing about black men, let’s stay focused!