I was at a point where I needed answers. I was putting out energy when I wasn’t getting any back. I was depleting myself, growing tired and weary. I also wanted to “detox” from all the stress and stagnant energy. I looked to meditation after a very dear spiritual friend, reminded me to go back within, a place I am very comfortable being. I started to get scenes of water and me underwater completely safe and nurtured. It gave me a feeling of protection. But I didn’t pay it much mind. I could barely swim in more than 5 feet of water (or so I thought, funny the limits we put on ourselves!).
I had never had an urge to scuba dive and the last time I snorkeled in Acapulco I almost panicked. Soon after, I got a strange email about a scuba diving trip in The Maldives. This is proof that you shouldn’t cancel all those junk emails. I clicked on it and called out of curiosity and they told me it is only for certified divers. That little bit of info began my journey. I only get more determined when I am denied anything.
My bday was a few months away and I knew I didn’t want to go into it feeling like I was. My intuitive self needed to be fed and let out to play. When your intuition is in charge your life opens up. And it wasn’t going to be on a trip where I am lounging on the beach with a cocktail or strolling the streets of a foreign country ( looking in windows and cafes) wishing I was with someone. Boo!
I made the goal of getting my scuba diving certification the center of my trip. It gave me something to start and complete. I checked out spots from Thailand to Honduras. Growing frustrated, I was going to settle on the Florida Keys. But something pushed me further out of my comfort zone, and I kept searching for the “perfect” place. My decisions lately have been off course (at least that is what our ego tells us), so I was like, damn, am I just gonna make another bad decision here? So, I stopped looking.
Then, I started to meet people who told me I needed a vacation. I was like, how do they know? This was something I knew all along, but fear was about to sabotage another idea. I finally chose Belize. It wasn’t a place I fantasized about, but all my scuba dive searches were mentioning it as the best place for a newbie to be certified. Belize was also an exotic place, still pure from commercialism, still authentic, almost mysterious. I chose simple accommodations (I will give info later) with bed and bathroom. I wanted a place where I can meet others over breakfast of hot, handmade johnny cakes and hearty eggs and black beans. And small enough that if I disappeared folks would know. Where I stayed only had six rooms!
Oh, and I never thought of asking anyone to come. The last thing I needed was someone to deal with.
I packed lightly and practically to take care of myself.
I wanted this trip to be full of adventure and activity. Keep me on my toes. Push me. Scare me. Free me.