I left this comment at NecoleBitchie, and figured why not share here?
It was a post about another media story (ABC NEWS) concerning single Black women. Am I the only one tired of this song? At the end, it always ends up as the black man’s fault. This “issue” can be a particular challenge for an Alpha Female who is used to controlling so much of her environment. Here’s what I said:
Why do some women think because you are attractive, gainfully employed, financially stable and educated that alone qualifies you for a man? It takes a lot to be with a man, there are personality issues between men and women that you don’t learn in school. Point is some women just can’t get along with men, talk to them or treat them. To get a man, you need to learn how to attract the right one.
And any woman with a man in their life, will tell you, it develops parts of you as a woman you never imagined. School, sororities, the corner office, the cocktails with the girls can’t teach you. Frankly, if women knew how to attract the right man there wouldn’t be so much moaning and groaning. Do you know when to compromise? Do you know when to let him have his way, knowing that at the end of the day, happiness is the key? Do you know how to do house chores? Cook? Make a good sandwich? Do you know how to talk to him in that “certain” way? Do you know that some questions don’t need to be asked? Do you know that you can’t always jump to defend yourself? Do you know that it’s okay to not be in control at all times? But, vulnerable, dependent, fully exposed where any day the rug can be swept from under you? Are you ready to be the student at times, and not the teacher? All the while having this beautiful man wrapped around your finger like twine. That’s what happens when a man loves you, you define him as he defines you. These are some of the things that “make” a woman and some do it better than others.
If you know this already, then you can attract the right man who will give you this and more. Self fulfilling prophecies are real, be careful what you agree with. Keep shaking your head in agreement with these stories, and see what happens.