Be A Woman At Work, And A Lady At Home

By Guest Blogger, Mumphlett

An alphanista knows how to mix the old with the new…

He’s my man and I love him.

But, it’s been a while since we’ve done anything. And when I say anything … I mean anything together.  And when I say together, I mean where both of us got something out of it.  Dinner and a movie -  just good food and a new premiere.  Vacationing together – just another excursion of habit! Same time every year different place. When we talk, one way conversation – I talk and he listens. I give up.  Like the old saying, stick a fork in me … I’m done.

I’ve tried the talking thing (he lovingly calls it nagging), I tried the sex toys and lingerie (he feels he is good enough without the extras).  I tried cooking his favorite foods (just another meal to him). I even attempted things I am embarrassed to repeat out loud. Nothing has worked, at least nothing that I can feel.  He says “we’re all good”, he loves me as much now as the day he fell in love with me. I say ‘shit on that’.  I’m miserable, lost and alone.

He wants me to be innovative, motivated and self starting like I was back in the day. Hell did he forget I am every woman – CEO, SEXY, and a damn good COOK!  How dare he ask me to be more than I am already, besides what else is there to be – GOD.

He says I need to lighten up and stop being so rigid about everything. Let each day be a new day with it’s own problems.  Huh, I don’t get it. I have a business, a home, huge responsibilities and life is no longer a joke or even funny for that matter.

Then I talked to my favorite aunt –“auntie old school”.  She’s an older woman who always knows what to say and always seems to have the answer to any problem. Of course her love for me made her see right through me.

I told her how I felt about his demands that I go back in time and be something that I have moved on from.  I told her that I didn’t want to be that old person.  I told her that I was a modern woman and I loved the skin that I was in (straight from Oprah).  I told her that I still loved him, but I would never give up the new me for the old me.  And I would not give in to his mixture of testosterone and male ego-centric whims.

She said … he’s not making demands, he’s making requests. Stop making everything about YOU.  The old you is the person he fell in love with, not the businesswoman, entrepreneur, home owner and self proclaimed DIVA. Men are simple creatures, she went on to say. He loves you for you and “that’s it” “that’s all”. Not all the self proclaimed titles you’ve accumulated over the years.  And before you read another magazine – she screamed- or try any more tricks, stop enjoying SEX and enjoy loving and making love to him.  Sex is simply a technique making love is from your heart and soul.  Be more soulful, keep it light, fun, spontaneous and real.  Feel the moment and seize it and give in. Give up that jaded façade when you’re with your man. And above all, remember and understand that giving in isn’t giving up. It’s being in a relationship, it’s compromise.

I thought about it,  tried it, and I loved it.  Still loving it, some 5 years later.  Lucky me, I got my cake and eating it too, thanks to auntie old school for making a modern woman a real woman.

Guest Blogger Mumphlett is from Chicago.

 Email This Post