Author: Maryann

5 Things To Do Before You Meet Your Alpha

Your alpha will have high expectations simply because you have high expectations of him.

He meets them, and expects the same.  He’s not unreasonable and definitely doesn’t care if your bra and panties match or if you missed a pedicure or two.  They are not typical men caught up on detail and emotional ramblings about things.  However, alpha males love order, and appreciate structure, especially in the home.  They admire it and recognize it.

The below are some suggestions to establish order around your home.  This is just the tip of the iceberg, but a good weekend start:

1.  Clean out your refrigerator

Nothing worse than a man opening your fridge and seeing weeks old butter, Chinese takeout, and spill marks all over the place, get it right!

2.  Stock up on condoms, lubricants, candles, incense

Anything you need to practice safe sex, do not wait for the last minute or expect him to bring it, it’s your body.  Your alpha male will see this as tactful and logical behavior, not judgmental.  Candles and incense create ambiance and a relaxing mood for your alpha.

3.  Clean and wipe your bathroom sink and toilet bowl down every morning

Doing the quick 30 second wipe down before a guest comes over should not be protocol.  Where they ask you to use the bathroom and you tell them to wait.  You can do this as you brush your teeth in the morning.  It will take 2 minutes.   It only takes longer if you leave it for weeks and do it all at once.

4.   Stock up on beer, wine, lemonade

Consider what your alpha would like–is he a beer person or a wine man?  Is he strictly cognac?  Or does he prefer a green drink?  Whatever it is stock up.  I have Guinness, Henny, and Grand Marnier.

5.  Fix your bedroom up

Simply because nothing says “dried up spinster” like a bare bedroom, that is bland, has 1 pillow, and 1 nightstand, dark, ugly sheets.   Buy extra pillows, 2 nightstands, and make your room ready for a couple, not just you!

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It’s Open! Privy To Members-Only

“Behind” this blog  there are ladies doing something you can’t see and a forum tingling with activity.

Alphanistas are plotting the takeover!  Well, we’re talking about it.   Over the next 6 months from June-December, members of the Alphanista Inner Circle will have access to articles, resources, experts in every area of their life they want to enhance from health, relationships, spirituality, business, money, and home.  What the Alphanista Inner Circle does is take the blog articles a step further and the interaction in the forums is a plus.

Right now, Alphanistas are reading the “Getting Started”, and we’re introducing ourselves in the forum.  Can’t you hear the chitter, chatter?

It launched today at midnight….There are ONLY 7 days to sign up and then we close the doors.  We’ve got to focus!  But before you do anything, read here for all the details on what you get and how to sign up.

Any questions email me directly at maryann@alphanista.com.

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The “Sugar” Is In the Money, Not…

Let’s face it lots of people are struggling right now, but not everyone.  I once heard a man say:  “A woman should never be broke”.

Huh?  Well, if you think about it, it does make some sense.  He was pointing out that a woman will always have something a man will pay for or a woman is more likely to get financial help than a man.  So, let’s look at this.

It all brings up the question of whether it’s okay to have sex for money.  Not in a street walking kind of way, but in a sort of arrangement.  Follow me.  Benefactor.  Sponsor.  Sugardaddy.  Are women who choose these relationships, bad?  They say that they want to have a monetary exchange for their time with a well-paid, damn it, rich man.  But it’s not prostitution because it’s more than sex but a business arrangement.

For instance, the typical sugar daddy relationship is one where a very wealthy, rich, or influential man “takes care of” the needs of a young, beautiful, ambitious girl who “takes cares of” him.  Some of these relationships are successful, many aren’t.  However, in one that I am privy to, the sugar baby ended up saving all the stacks her sugar daddy gave her and owns several turn-key businesses that she bought with his additional help.  He, in turn, received good sex, companionship, and no headaches.  Also, he enjoyed helping her.  It took them 3 months, a trip to Tahiti, before they even had sex (in Tahiti).  This isn’t typical but it happens.

So, are women bad who do this?  What about women who have sex to make a man commit to them?  What about women who sleep around with no clear objectives but “having fun”?   In the sugar daddy/baby case it is “arranged”, it is expected so there’s very little surprises about expectations.  There are actually sites for women who want this type of lifestyle like www.seekingarrangment.com where they claim to verify that a man is indeed high net worth.

90% of people will tell you this is bad because 1) they never had the guts 2) they never will 3) the only thing they got to bargain that anyone would want is a $10 Starbucks card.  If you look closely, at the end of the day, most people are seeking arrangements with their heart or wallets.

(Next scheduled post at 2:30p)

How To Be An Alpha Female: The Broke Alphanista

You do exist.

As beautiful, smart, and enterprising as you are, shit happens.

Because of some ill fated decisions, consequences, health issues, or too many of the right risks at the wrong time, you are cooked like a goose.  The funds you saved are gone, and you don’t have a back-up plan this time.  What do you do?  The Broke Alphanista knows that life only reflects back to her where she is.  If you notice that everyone around you is broke, that is a cue that subliminally or unconsciously you’ve picked up some bad habits.  You’ve sabotaged yourself.  You sabotage yourself not by being broke but by staying in the situation.  When you are broke, that is one of the best times to become financially independent.  It is the best time to take risks, what do you have to lose?  You sabotage yourself, by staying stuck and developing a broke mentality.

A broke mentality is one of lack, little risk, and built around scarcity.  There is never enough to go around for the broke mentality.  Here are more symptoms:

–you want to be first in line everywhere, in case “something” runs out, and silently hiss at that woman who strolls in an hour later and gets it without an issue

–you think any “good thing” doesn’t last, and it doesn’t for you because you fulfilled your own prophecy

–you penny pinch until it hurts talking yourself out of opportunities and purchases that may actually help you

–you always expect bad service at a restaurant

Anyone can be “broke”, but a “broke mentality” becomes a new habit and way of thinking, where everything good seems to dance away.  You realize this and begin to build a mental fortress and support to protect you from living among the 90% so that you may find your place among the talented 10%.

Read more in this series.

Why Bother With The Master Cleanse?

There’s a lot of buzz surrounding the Master Cleanse.

Lately it seems like every Hollywood actress or actor who needs to get in shape is turning to this decades old health system that involves drinking a mixture of lemon juice, maple syrup, and cayenne pepper.

With all the diets out there to choose from why would anyone bother with the Master Cleanse?

There’s two main reasons people like the Master Cleanse. The first (and most obvious) is that it works. The results people are getting with the Master Cleanse border on miraculous, and they are backed by thousands of devoted users who are living testimonials to the effectiveness of the Master Cleanse.

The second reason people choose the Master Cleanse over other diets and wellness programs is that it’s fast. The typical person only spends 10 days on the Master Cleanse, compared to other diets that can last months or even years you can see why they choose the Master Cleanse.

Another interesting thing about the Master Cleanse lasting just 10 days is that you only need a short term burst of will power to get through it. Having to sacrifice for months is what makes other diets so hard to stay on, but most people can will their way through 10 days.

What can you expect from 10 days on the Master Cleanse?

Even though most people are going on the Master Cleanse to lose weight quickly, there’s many other health benefits to be gained by doing the Master Cleanse. Flushing out your system is what the Master Cleanse is really designed to do. Even back 60 years ago when the Master Cleanse was first invented people had health problems as a result of waste building up inside of them. Today with processed foods, pollution, and all around poor diets our bodies desperately need to be flushed out every once in a while.

When you flush out your body with the Master Cleanse the waste you eliminate will be abnormal. The smell, color, and texture of the waste that comes out of your body shocks some people, so you should be prepared.

If you want to try the Master Cleanse there’s more you need to know then just drinking the lemonade mixture for 10 days. In fact most people who try the Master Cleanse without knowing all the steps fail. If you think the Master Cleanse is something you would like to try there’s a good book here that you should read before starting the Master Cleanse because it covers the common problems people face, and how to avoid them.

Still want to join me on the Master Cleanse?  Email me at maryann@alphanista.com.

WEEKEND REWIND: How To Tame An “Alphanista”

By Guest Blogger Te-Erika Patterson

If you’re up for a challenge, your relationship with an Alphanista will be the most frustrating, yet exhilarating ride that you’ve ever experienced- that is, if you know how to navigate the rocky terrain.

Sometimes I meet men who have so much potential but they just don’t get it. With a free spirit like me, you have to operate differently. The same rules that you’ll use with the average woman who uses her skills in the kitchen or the bedroom to snag her man won’t work with me.

Although there will never be a definitive guide to taming an Alphanista, (because she can not be tamed) following these suggestions will get you closer to your goal- the rest is up to God.

Be Consistent
You have to be consistent, mainly because I’m not. My preferences or taste buds can shift whenever the wind blows and I am energized by the complete freedom to change my mind on a whim. It’s challenging enough to wake up and decide what I want out of life “today” so I need a man who means what he says and does what he promises to do, day in and day out. Since most people alter their opinions to match mine, a man who is consistent with his preferences, expectations and actions provides the kind of structure that translates erotically.

Say Yes
You don’t say “no” when I see something pretty because you don’t have to. Your finances are not shaken by the state of the economy because your resources are long and strong. Even if you do lose out on a business venture, you have 5 more right behind it that are flourishing. You believe I deserve the best that life has to offer and you know it’s your responsibility to give it to me. I’m your fantasy woman and you’re not about to spoil your dream come true by not being able to give me my heart’s desires.  There’s nothing that delights you more than watching my eyes twinkle as I give you a kiss after trying on one of your sparkly gifts or receiving a phone call from a business connection that you supplied. Thank you!

Correct Me
Yes, I do run shit in most situations and it is completely within my reach to do so elegantly but spending so much time teaching and molding others can take a toll on the psyche of an Alphanista. Don’t abuse this gift but I want to give you the secret; I like
being taught and corrected by my man. If you can teach me something that will add to the success of my business endeavors I will definitely keep you around longer. And…every once in while, I need to be reminded that I am a mere mortal. An intentional, open handed smack to my rump will revitalize me and I will thank you for it.

Feed Me
I like to eat. You bring the food. That’s your job every single day. Show up to my place empty handed and that proves you don’t give a damn about me or my well-being. Goodbye.

Let It Slide
Sometimes the line between work and play can be blurred, at least in my mind. I have to be the hard ass to get things done and sometimes I carry that attitude home with me. I apologize in advance but you will just have to learn to deal with it. Don’t fight me on it. Let me rant and rave and try to strong arm you into doing the dishes. Instead of overanalyzing my requests- Do the dishes. It doesn’t take away from your role as my man. When I come down off of my power trip, I’ll realize what I’ve done and you’ll benefit from an apology you’ll never forget.

Let Me Love You
Yes, I have a whole list of people whose main desire is to please me but I have a sweet side too. I want to spoil you and pamper you and be your trophy too. I want you to brag to your friends about how well I take care of you and how much I add to your success. Don’t fight me when I want to do something nice for you. You deserve it just as much as I do. Let me take you on a trip and buy you something nice. Let me sweep you off your feet. Allow me to use my powers for good in appreciation for the wonderful man that you are. Let me love you in all of the extravagant, calculated ways that I know how because…I want to. Isn’t it your job to give me what I want? Uh huh…That’s right.

Read more about this writer at www.te-erika.blogspot.com.

Weekend Rewind: Leave Your Man Alone This Sunday

Especially, if he’s an alpha…

This Sunday is Superbowl.  The alpha female is doing one thing:  she’s out.

Time after time I keep reading how women are spending Superbowl Sundays with their man and his friends, and manning the background like Mamie.  Can’t these men be left alone for one day?  For instance, a very alpha thing to do would be to throw your own Superbowl party for the wives, girlfriends, or singles only.  You can do this in the basement of the same house or at another person’s house, like a beta, so she’d do all the cleaning up afterwards.

Basically, the thing is to let the men have their day.  Always seek opportunities to foster space between the two of you.   It’s a fact that the more time people spend apart the more time they spend together in thought bonding the relationship on a deeper level.  This is even more important if you live together.  Sure, work is one way of spending time apart but everyone needs time to foster their own interests, so they can come back and share.   Beta men hate this because it brings up feelings of inadequacy on their part and many wouldn’t know what to do out of their routine.   Alpha men crave cave time.   Out of sight, is not out of mind with a man you talk to several times a day.

But of course, there are women who insist they are football fans, too and must be with their man on that day or the sky will fall.  The excuse to stay is “Oh, I’ll cook for ya’ll.”  But you can still cook, set it out all out, and bounce.  A man may not tell you, but he’d rather just sit around with his friends, cuss, drink, fart and eat without you walking around or sitting around giving them the side eye.   They want to talk about the stacked cheerleaders or chick in the commercial or call a player a “bitch” every now and then without worrying about you.

For those of you who make this a tradition with your man, so be it.  If you have no man, and are invited to a party then by all means go.  You can also stay in and just make it a regular Sunday if you can’t be bothered or let him go alone.  This can also be your day to really flutter about doing things that make you feel good without anyone checking in for at least 6 hours.   This is for those ladies who feel they MUST keep a tight leash on their man on any day of the year.   Get out the house that day.  Find your own bar, pub, with friends and do your thing. Come home and take care of your man, then.  Hopefully, his team has won and he’ll be in a “up” mood.

Obama’s Message to White Fathers…

Okay, so we heard about his Father’s Day speech calling on black fathers that got many people’s feathers ruffled, including Jesse Jackson’s. But what about if he gave that speech to white fathers? What if instead of Black in America, we can have specials on White in America. I received an email this morning. Here’s an excerpt of the article w/some real statistics:

What if statistics showed that “white young people are over twice as likely than black young people to drive drunk, a third more likely to carry a weapon, three times more likely to binge drink, and twice to four times more likely (depending on the drug) to use cocaine, coke, inhalants, steroids, hallucinogens, and methamphetamines?” That’s precisely what the statistics say – which should be a signal for Barack Obama to begin paying visits to white churches to low-rate the fathers of the congregations. We can hear it now: “Clearly you, white parents, need to stop being shiftless and take care of your responsibilities. You are failing your children.” But don’t bet on it. Things like that only happen in works of satire…

You can read the rest here.

Make Lemonade Out Of Occupational Lemons

womancareer2By Guest Blogger  Wendy Coakley-Thompson

Some time ago, I wrote Five Alphanista Things to Do When You Get Laid Off.

The first comment I received on the piece came from The Hooker Chronicles, who said she tells people sensing a layoff to start their own businesses. According to Chronicles, “In the age of the Internet and social networking sites, this is the perfect opportunity to start networking with people.”

Apparently, The Hooker Chronicles is on to something. More and more of my friends who’ve been told not to let the doorknob hit them where the good Lord split them on the way out have decided to freelance  instead of taking yet another thankless corporate gig. Donald O. Graul Jr., Executive Director of American Independent Writers (AIW) here in DC, says that freelancing is a popular career move in this recession.

Why? Because both employers and freelancers get over like a fat rat. Employers can hire a freelancer without having to pay for pesky things like benefits and a workspace. On the flip side, freelancers can sign on only for work they want to do. It’s a win-win for everyone.

One person making lemonade out of occupational lemons is Rakia Clark. In January of this year, Kensington Books laid her off from her position as Editor.  Rather than cry in her Cosmopolitan, Clark launched her own web site and blog, got her business affairs in order, and hung out her proverbial shingle as a freelance editor and proposal writer. USA Today even documented Clark’s career change in its March 13 Money section.

Clark is so successful that her biggest challenge is finding the time to do all of the work that constantly falls into her lap. Also, rather than feel the isolation that some people who freelance experience, Clark says that her fellow freelancers have not only welcomed her, they pass work her way from time to time.

Clark and others like her show that it’s what you make of adversity that determines your level of success.  As the old slogan goes – lemonade, that cool, refreshing drink!

Author Wendy Coakley-Thompson is the DC Publishing Industry Examiner at Examiner.com. Check her out at http://www.examiner.com/x-6658-DC-Publishing-Industry-Examiner.

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