A classic! Enjoy!
By Guest Blogger @ebonybodyworks
Why do men cheat, especially with escorts?
This is the million dollar question of the day. The question that’s been asked by Oprah, Redbook, Essence Magazine, Dr. Phil, and a host of other sources trying to get to the bottom of this domestic issue.
And the answer is (Drum roll Please)
Every man has his own reason for wanting to participate in this particular vice, and it’s not always for reasons that you may think of like sex and perversion. Because lets face it- If it’s only about sex, he can do that alone and at home, for free. More than likely, the answer lies somewhere between lack of intimacy and the love of variety, and for the men that want variety, there’s really no exact cure unless he gets caught.
Men that desire variety can cheat forever, and that’s why you have men that “Hobby” (industry term) for 10, 20, and 30 years. It’s the excitement of being with someone new, without having to do the whole courting and dating thing.
Then you have the men that come to us due to lack of intimacy at home, or the embarrassment of having a particular kink or fetish that his wife may find repugnant. [Use your imagination here]
Men come to us for the openness, the acceptance, the excitement. And some men come for the adrenaline rush of having done something naughty…. like cheat.
In the end, the wife may be asking me or herself; how can I keep this from happening to me? After being in my line of work for 5 years, I learned a few things. Here are some suggestions:
– Keep lines of communications open at all times. Make it so that he’s comfortable telling you his deepest darkest secrets.
– Don’t judge him so much. Seem interested in the things that he’s interested in, even if those things seem ridiculous to you. Fake it!
– Make his surroundings good to come home to. Have Incense, candles, jazz music, and his favorite drink available. Even with my “primary partner”, he can come over at any given time and my house is ALWAYS clean, incense are burning, jazz music is playing, and I’m laid back chilling with one of my favorite drinks in hand. And guess what? He pulls up a seat and sticks a round!
– Be more feminine and learn to lower your voice. This is by far the best secret when it comes to men. Men love it when you talk to them in a NON confrontational tone. I NEVER raise my voice above its laid back tone (because I like my blood pressure to be nice and normal).
Last but not least…..
-Have fun with your man. Laugh with him, make him laugh. We as black women take everything so serious like the apocalypse is tomorrow. Do things that you and him wouldn’t normally do like have dinner at a burlesque club or a Jazz bistro. Watch porn together, go to strip clubs together. If you’re adventurous, then participate in amateur night and give him a lap dance.
There are so many different ways to please your man, and everyday you should be brainstorming ideas to keep the spice alive, and those juices flowing. I’m constantly brainstorming for new and exciting ideas because I want them to keep coming back, and you should be NO different.
Because lets face it- once he starts looking on Craigslist for hookers and hook-ups, you’re losing, not winning.
by @ebonybodyworks on Instagram