By Guest Blogger Amyrae
It’s no secret that men are insecure.
We see it everyday in their constant need to keep tabs on their women, or the jealous fits they throw over her having other male friends. I’m not saying this is right, it is what it is, and many women are guilty of the same. But when it comes to alphas, both male and female, we see some differences.
We’ve already established that the alpha female has moments of insecurity, and we’ve highlighted the necessity in moving on, seeing the bigger picture…but when it comes to the alpha male, is he really all that much different? I think in some ways he can be even more insecure than the alpha female, or at least he handles it differently. Take for example an alpha male in pursuit of an alpha female, let’s call him Troy. Whether he’s seeking the challenge or trying to prove his prowess, Troy does it suavely.
When the alpha female shows no interest he is mystified, and with all of the other males competing close behind him, he is forced to question his status as the alpha male. He might step it up a notch or lay it on thick, but when the flat out rejection comes, he is deeply stung. This is the point where Troy may either come back at her with a macho-wounded ‘you ain’t all that anyway’ kind of line, or he might just move on to the next woman to redeem himself. Either way his ego has taken a beating and he is learning to adjust. Rejection may not happen very often for the alpha male, and how he moves beyond it is what will stand him apart from the rest. In my days I’ve seen far more of the macho wounded behavior than those rare few who politely offer their respect and even attention until seen in a different light.
This takes skill, and the true alpha male will probably succeed in this manner, but it’s not an easy maneuver. We’ll peg Troy as this type of exception. First of all, he doesn’t want to risk being too pushy or too needy, this is not alpha male behavior. He wants the female to realize who it is she’s dealing with and see him for the true alpha male that he is. He doesn’t want her to jeopardize all that he’s built himself up to be, nor does he want to give her the satisfaction of being the higher alpha. So he presents himself gentlemanly and patiently waits for her to make the next move.
Alphanistas here face a tough call, but ultimately how it all plays out depends on a myriad of other factors all aligning together, and sometimes no matter how hard you try, it just wasn’t meant to be. But regardless of whether or not Troy succeeds, he is far better off knowing the high road.
Amyrae is in Brooklyn, NY and an aspiring writer, humanitarian, world traveler, and philanthropist living and loving life one day at a time, checking things off of her ever expanding TO DO list.